What does your alternative wedding look like if you postponed your big wedding?

Hmm perhaps a nice park if there are still some open in your area. My area has a few open to allow folks to get out and walk while social distancing to still have that mental/physical outlet.

You’re going to find that a lot of people on here will advise you to not keep it a secret. I don’t know you and don’t want to tell you what to do, but I personally would tell everyone I got married. ESPECIALLY my family.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Chelsea! That's what we were thinking also. There's a really nice park with a nice sized garden and we thought it would be beautiful while still keeping in mind the safety and health of others!

View Quoted Comment I know what you mean. My mom is my best friend and it would be so hard at times to keep it a secret but the way she looked at me yesterday when my dress arrived and almost cried pierced my heart. I more so want everyone to be able to have those genuine reactions and feelings.

Just a thought in case you have any relatives like this: my brother and sister in law secretly got married, but we had a great aunt that read every inch of the newspaper. Where I live, marriage licenses are public record and put in the newspaper. So our family found out when she saw it in the newspaper and they flipped out.


That being said, I second a nice park if that is an option near you!

While i don't support keeping a marriage a secret from anyone for any amount of time, you can get married in Colorado with just yourselves. You don't need an officiant, and you don't need a witness.

I promise you, seeing you exchange vows at a vow renewal down the road will be just as heart warming and genuine as it'll be for you both in private the first time. Keeping your marriage a secret is a bit pointless, and could actually cause far more drama than it's worth, whereas being open and honest with your nearest and dearest friends and family (and not risking them being angry if they find out you purposefully lied about something so important) is a much better option.

As for the place, your backyard may be the safest place. I'm not sure where you are, but many places have their public parks completely closed down--it may not be worth the risk. You can do some research for your specific area to see if there's any open spaces that might work for a private ceremony.

We got legally married on Valentine’s Day in a park that was sentimental to us. I found an officiant in town that does weddings for free. She meet my husband and two of our friends at the park. She did a simple ceremony/ring engage. She only charged us $25 since it was a holiday. Afterwards the 4 of us went to our favorite restaurant for dinner.

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I feel like people will still have genuine reactions to seeing you in your dress and celebrating your marriage regardless. That's what family is for...they should support you, be happy for you and respect your decision. Keeping it from them, in my opinion, isn't necessary and could possibly drive you crazy lol. I say include the ones you love in every step of your process.

View Quoted Comment Omg. My mom is from a small town in Alabama and they did that there. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I live two hours away from Chicago in Wisconsin and I don't think we do that but I'm definitely going to check. Thank you Jennifer!

View Quoted Comment That sounds like so much fun and such a special thing to share. I really like that idea! I'll ask our minister of he's ok with doing something like that. I love that idea Congrats to you also Whitney!

View Quoted Comment I'm in Wisconsin too. I would definitely double check! My brother and sister in law got married almost 12 years ago so I'm not sure if they still post marriage licenses in the papers here. My family still references it behind their backs all the time too 😑

Faith, I think a nice park or garden area will be nice. I’m not sure where you are, but the beach or near a nice lake is a good option too.


I support your decision. My fiancé and I discussed secretly getting married if we have to postpone again. He’s not for it as much as I am, but it’s our business. We don’t owe anyone that moment.

View Quoted Comment Agree with everything Megan said.

I think given the circumstances, no one is going to feel less emotional at your big wedding knowing that you had your legal ceremony earlier.

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I think that would be really beautiful! We have settled on two different parks and our now looking into some golf courses because they have now opened them in Wisconsin where we live. And I don't think our family will trip or be upset because his brother secretly got married in IL and we didn't find out until a few months later after he decided to tell the family and everyone was cool with it. They are supposed ti have their small family ceremony later on this year. So I'm not worried about any of our family being upset. Besides I could care less lol. When my parents were engaged they were going to elope but didnt so I dont think they'll care . I totally agree with you !

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We also did this because we’re getting married in a different state and it’s harder to get the wedding license there and we didn’t a random person to be our officiant at the ceremony with all of our friends and family. So my brother in law conducting our ceremony and giving us premarital counseling. He’s in the process of being a pastor and hasn’t gone through the full process of being a officiant. Also it’s more meaningful for us to have my husband brother marry us and be the first wedding he will conduct.

We're still getting married at our wedding venue, which is a Nature Center (think park but wildlife). Instead of where our ceremony is originally taking place, we're walking the trail until we get to this little creek/bridge that's hidden.

I wouldn't keep it a secret! We have a plan B for our 7/11/2020 wedding and it's looking more and more that we are going to have to use it. Our wedding will be in my parents beautiful backyard so we are incredibly lucky that we have all the flexibility in the world. This is what we will do if we have to cut our guest list down to just our immediate fam, officiant, and photographer:

RENTALS: Keep our tent rental and dance floor but reduce numbers of tables/chairs/linens/dining-wear, etc.

MUSIC: Set up music ahead of time including procession song, cocktail hour playlist, dinner playlist, and dance playlist

FOOD: Have our caterer drop off appetizers and dinner food prepared buffet style (we are doing a major taco bar) that fam would serve themselves. Pre-mix a large variety of drinks (virgin sweet tea and lemon water but also margaritas and different cocktails) in pitchers as well as offering wine/beer.

Everything is very DIY and we are able to downsize easily! We are doing all decor on our own, and I am making the wedding cake and doing my own hair and makeup so we are good!