Samantha
Just Said Yes October 2016

What do you do when your bridesmaids do not get along!

Samantha , on January 20, 2016 at 4:54 PM Posted in Planning 0 17
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They are seriously acting like bridesmaidszillas! Every time my MOH throws out an idea, they all bash her ideas. She's getting really frustrated and doesn't want to associate with them again.

17 Comments

  • Lauren17
    Master July 2017
    Lauren17 ·
    • Flag

    Lol what Rosemary said... i know my bridesmaids are going to clash like crazy i refuse to deal with the nonsense.. glad my wedding is far out don't have to deal with it YET!

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
    • Flag

    My BM's just ignore my poor MOH anytime she tries to throw ideas out there for a bach and shower. I would probably step in if I were you though I don't know what to say since I don't know the whole situation. I feel bad for your MOH.

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
    • Flag

    Tell them to act like adults. My maid of honor and a couple of bridesmaids didn't get along but you wouldn't even know it. In fact, I don't think some of them even know now that they didn't get along because no one made it public, they played nice and then never spoke to each other again after the wedding.

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  • MrsSantamaria2015
    Master December 2015
    MrsSantamaria2015 ·
    • Flag

    You sit them down for time-out. Duh.

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  • Laura
    Savvy April 2016
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    I'm not having a bridal party so I can't relate. Although your complaint is one of reason why I'm not have a Honored Attendants. I think we need more info about at least one situation to provide you with more advice as to how to proceed.

    In general you could implement certain strategies to avoid difficult conversations. For example a "Talking Stick" if you will that way at least people are respecting each other's turn taking. Also it would help to remind everyone to speak calmly, clearly, and with respect to one another while have wedding related discussions.

    • Reply
  • S&J
    Master August 2017
    S&J ·
    • Flag

    Lmaoooo at a Talking Stick.

    How is your MOH presenting the ideas? Is it an open discussion type of way? I personally feel like people let titles go to their heads. Perhaps they all should get over themselves.

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  • MNBride
    Master June 2017
    MNBride ·
    • Flag

    What is your MOH planning 10 months before the wedding that they are clashing on? Try giving them each separate responsibilities so they don't have to work together.

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  • Casey
    Dedicated April 2016
    Casey ·
    • Flag

    I teach kindergarten, and my students don't even have this problem. Give a list and delegate what each person is in charge of. This way, they're still helping, but no one has to work together.

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  • Kris
    VIP October 2015
    Kris ·
    • Flag

    This happened to me. My maid of honor got resistance every step of the way, so she event silly just stopped giving ideas. Then she got bashed for not doing her MOH job correctly. I felt terrible for her

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  • Ostrichka
    VIP February 2016
    Ostrichka ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, Laura, that'll work.


    • Reply
  • N
    Master November 2015
    NenaBear ·
    • Flag

    This.


    • Reply
  • FutureMrsHarris
    Super April 2017
    FutureMrsHarris ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like they need to grow up and act like adults....seriously though, sit down with everyone and try to settle it. If they can't act like adults, at least for your wedding then maybe you should reconsider your bridesmaids.

    • Reply
  • VWCat
    Master October 2015
    VWCat ·
    • Flag

    This happened to me because my BMs were from different times in my life (college, grad school, and family). I stayed out of it for the most part. They're adults. But seriously, it sucks. Lucky for me, at the end, everyone ended up being friends.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    Stop expecting them to come up with ideas. All they have to do is show up at the wedding wearing the attire you specified. If they can't get along long enough to try on dresses, specify a color and length and let them pick out their own. Surely they can manage to get along for long enough to get through the ceremony!

    • Reply
  • Chrissy
    Master September 2016
    Chrissy ·
    • Flag

    Nastassia I work with a lot of women and we never have those issues. Comments like that are why women aren't treated the same way as men in the workplace.

    • Reply
  • S&J
    Master August 2017
    S&J ·
    • Flag

    Amen Chrissy! I get along fine with women.

    • Reply
  • FFW
    Master August 2016
    FFW ·
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    I have a lot of BMs (10 including the MOH), and they don't have a problem getting along. My suggestion is to create a group message on group me. They may not all know each other or be friends with each other but 95 percent of the communication that goes on between them regarding the wedding and wedding related things is in the group chat and I see it all. If one post an idea there is an exchange that goes on. Tell your MOH to stop trying to be secretive, a lot of issues that comes up with bridal party decisions is bc they are trying to secretly plan and execute the shower or bach party (without the bride knowing). Tell her to cut it out. My MOH was trying to be secretive and wasn't getting a response but from 2 or 3 BMs while the others would ignore her questions or messages. Once the central person (me) got in on the deal they started to respond and contribute (ideas, opinions) more. For example for months my MOH tried asking the BMs for their ideas or suggestions on the shower (places, menu, theme, etc). She would get a response for 2 or 3. Once she told me the options she was considering, I picked from them, she told them in the group chat "this is what the bride wants to do" and they all agreed and are all doing their part.

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