Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Nay0801
VIP August 2015

What do you do at the rehearsal dinner?

Nay0801, on April 18, 2015 at 12:38 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 37

Obviously, you eat (lol) but what else. On another thread someone said something about not wanting a stranger at the RD where friends and family are pouring out their hearts and given speeches.I had to do a double take on that one,that was the first I ever heard about speeches.I was under the impression we provide the food and we all would just eat, talk, chill,thank everyone for coming and that's it. I've never attended a RD before and the wedding I'm in the bride isn't having one.Clearly,I almost made a honeyfund like etiquette faux pas. Do I need a TL? Are speeches scheduled or impromptu? Also who gets an invite, I've seen different answers on different threads. Thanks ladies.

37 Comments

Latest activity by Kaegurl, on April 20, 2015 at 7:41 PM
  • E
    Master July 2015
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Google is an incredible thing.

    "The purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to provide an intimate setting for the two families to mingle before the big event. There's nothing in particular that must happen, although the groom's parents might want to give a toast just before or just after the meal."

    • Reply
  • P
    VIP May 2016
    Private User ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    As for who gets an invite: I'm not entirely positive but all of the rehearsals I have gone to have consisted of the Bride, Groom, and BMs and GMs, close relatives, and anyone who had to travel a distance to get there. (Like, I got invited to a rehearsal dinner for a wedding in Texas as I traveled from Tennessee)

    ETA: but like @Emma&Aaron said, Google should be able to give you a lot of these answers

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    VIP August 2016
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Lol breathe! RD's can be whatever you want them to be. You can invite who you want and you can have speeches if you want. Who is hosting your RD? The speech thing is for people who want to give a small speech but won't be able to at the wedding. It can be impromptu or you can schedule in a time for speeches and let everyone know the mic is hot for X amount of time and anyone is welcome to come say a few words if they like. The only people that must be invited are those in the bridal party that rehearsed with you prior to the rehearsal dinner and their spouses, your parents, and sometimes grandparents if you want. Some people will tell you that any out of town guests need to be invited, but sometimes that ends up turning into a second wedding as the guest list becomes quite large. It can also be as informal as you want and if budget is an issue then you can cook a nice home meal for everyone.

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Master October 2015
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It'll depend on your crows I think...who's attending and how many people (usually bridal party and immediate family). It can be a good time to have people that feel compelled to say something give a speech or toast, especially if you're trying to limit the amount of speeches that happen during the actual reception.

    • Reply
  • Nay0801
    VIP August 2015
    Nay0801 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My google works great, but there is nothing better than hearing it from the horses mouth,or in this case those who've actually been there done that or at least is doing that. I know everyone's answers will differ but, to get a generalization of what everyone here is doing is more so of what I was asking. Thanks.

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    VIP August 2016
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @Nay, who is hosting the rehearsal?

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Master March 2015
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I gave my groom his grooms cake, and the girls their gifts. I also gave them handwritten cards with a note of thanks and how much they mean to me. They were misty eyed, LOL. Our wedding party minus a GM was there and the minister, FIL's and my brothers and nieces and nephews. It was a lot of fun.

    • Reply
  • Erica and Brian
    VIP June 2015
    Erica and Brian ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yeah, we're just eating and drinking Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You can do whatever you would like. Here is the timeline for ours:

    Rehearsal 4:00 pm - 4:45 pm

    Guests arrive for dinner 5:30 - 6:00

    Chat and Chew 6:00 - 6:30 pm

    Everyone seated for dinner 6:30 - 6:45

    Pastor blesses meal

    Groom's Thank You

    Dinner served 7:00

    Everyone will receive a copy of the Day of Timeline during the rehearsal. This way they know where/when they need to be ready.

    • Reply
  • JAL2015
    VIP May 2015
    JAL2015 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    All the rehearsal dinners i have been to, You talk and eat. They bride and groom make a little speech and give out the presents to the BM's, GM, and parents. If you want to go over who is walking with who, and who will be doing readings, that would be the time to do it. That is what I will be doing at our RD

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Traditionally the RD is hosted by the Groom's parents and they will often give a toast or speech at the dinner. I've seen a few other toasts as well if the couple wants to keep the wedding speeches to a minimum.

    But now the couple often hosts their own RD so there is nothing set in stone. There can be zero speeches and it can be very casual. It's really up to you.

    • Reply
  • Nay0801
    VIP August 2015
    Nay0801 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @Mr and Mrs- that wouldn't work for me as 95%of my guests are from OOT.Its not a DW but, my mom is the only one who lives in NC. I googled it but I wanted some of your ideas...that is what this forum is for, Thanks!

    @kimberly I was like huh, breathe..and then I was like, oh my many ? Lol) it was only to express how taken aback I was.I guess my mom is hosting, she's getting her backyard landscaped and overhauled and she wants to hold it there. She and my aunts will cook,my uncles will grill and I will decorate it with string lights or something.I intended to invite everyone you've mentioned so I guess I'm up to speed on that I thought it was other aspects I was forgetting.The speeches part freaked me out,I get ridiculously shy when showered with compliments. Thanks.

    • Reply
  • alyshadanielle
    Master April 2015
    alyshadanielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Other than eating, I gave the BP & parents their gifts. We also stayed late so local guests could come have a drink with us after dinner.

    • Reply
  • Nay0801
    VIP August 2015
    Nay0801 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @Kit you are one organized lady..lol

    • Reply
  • Nay0801
    VIP August 2015
    Nay0801 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @alysha did you invite anyone to the RD that wasn't invited to the wedding?

    • Reply
  • E
    Master July 2015
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You edited, so okay. You were asking in general what you did at them, not what others were doing.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    There shouldn't be anyone invited to the RD who isn't invited to the wedding.

    At minimum, you need to invite anyone who is required to be at the rehearsal + their significant others.

    • Reply
  • Nay0801
    VIP August 2015
    Nay0801 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I erased 3 question marks, but like I said before,Thanks.

    • Reply
  • Jan87
    Super August 2014
    Jan87 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    At our rehersal dinner, only those who were in the actual wedding were invited. We just ate pizza and pop after in the church lunchroom and just talked. Basic.

    • Reply
  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Thanks @Nay0801. It just makes for less stress.

    We have a few OOT guests so they are invited to the dinner, but not the rehearsal. Also, we are not giving the BP their gifts at the rehearsal dinner. We are going to do that the day of the ceremony.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics