What do i put?!

I addressed mine as something along the lines of: "Mr. John Smith and Guest" if I didn't know the name of their girlfriend/boyfriend.

James Smith &plus one....
Or
"James Smith & Guest"

I feel putting the plus one names for each guest especially if you dont know them is a lot of work.If its a couple you know about or someone you know thenCouple:Mrs and Mr SmithHope this helps

I adressed our envelops as Mr. & Mrs. xxxxx Jones or Jane and Mike Smith

coworkers with spouses I just addressed to the coworker

Singles I did the same way, just put the one name.

OK cool! Thanks all!

I put and guest on mine

If you are absolutely confident/comfortable that you'll want/be able to invite plus ones for your guests, with almost a year to go AND you don't know their current partners' names, I'd address it: John Smith and guest. If there is any possibility that you may want or have to cut your guest list between now and next spring (Covid-related or for other reasons), I'd just send the STD to the actual friend: John Smith. That way you have some wiggle room; if they are still together next year AND you are able to invite them with a date, you can always do that on the invitation. Also, you might consider only sending STDs to VIPs, that way if you have to make guest list changes for any reason you aren't stuck and/or risking hurting people's feelings if you have to rescind an invitation later. Pre-pandemic, daughter and SIL decided to not send STDs to some of their more casual local friends. By the time they were ready to send the invitations, they decided to cut some of the those people to add in co-workers they'd grown much closer to in the 6 months before the wedding. They were glad to have that flexibility. Good luck!

Save the dates don't really need all the listed guests. You can just write your coworker's name and it's fine. You will need to find out the SOs names for the invitations though.

If someone is in a relationship, they are not a plus one and need to be invited as one social unit together. Write "and Partner" to avoid hurt feelings that come with being called "and guest" Or you can ask in a private conversation what their significant other's name is.


Plus ones for singles are entirely optional and most people do not include them for financial reasons.
You need to put all invited names on a save the date. While it is informal, eliminate confusion from the beginning.

My cousin did it this way.
“Miss First Name Last Name +1”

For me it depended on if I knew their significant other’s name or not. My fiancé wasn’t good about getting me all the details for his friends/coworkers. So if I didn’t know their name at all of if I didn’t know their last name, I did“Mr. first name last name and guest”
If you know their names, then I would put them on the invite.

I would put and guest, or I would do some social media stocking and find our their partners name.

I listed names on my save the dates because I think it’s important for making travel plans. If I couldn’t figure it out from their Facebook page I asked them and they were happy to tell me. If they weren’t in a long term and/or stable relationship I put and guest.

We addressed everyone by name because we didn't do open plus ones (we invited all significant others but didn't want just random plus ones). I looked on Facebook for names or texted to ask, no one seemed bothered!

Taking the time and making the effort is seen as caring and thoughtful, a hostess whose intent is to make guests comfortable and happy. To start by addressing them by their preferred title and name, and introducing them to others or writing invitations and placecards correctly, is basic courtesy . Not bothering others. What is bothersome is thinking someone does not care enough about you to even want to know your name. You will not only address an invitation, you will pass on their name to others on guest lists, and often write thank you notes, and write escort cards or placecards. So make a point of asking what they prefer to be called, so you get the Ms., Mrs., Miss, Mr., Dr., Rev., Honorable, or military rank, as well as the name. It is really embarrassing to have FI's mom say, he has been dating that nice woman from Akron Sue Smith, using Ms. 5 times, and missing the Lt. Colonel part she did not mention. 😗 Like I did on the only one I did not verify myself. Big Oops.

Save the Dates can just be addressed to one person. I wouldn’t put “and guest” when it’s a relationship. Significant others aren’t plus ones, and if they break up, the person may assume they get to bring a random date to the wedding when they may no longer be allowed to have a guest. This avoids any confusion later on or wondering why they had a guest listed on the STD but not the invitation. I would definitely find out the significant others’ names before sending the actual invitations.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t put “plus one” butFor the save the dates I’m just doing & partner and throughout the next eight months I’ll slowly collect all their names

View Quoted Comment Very true, and I definitely planned on doing this for the actual invitations, but the last thing I want is for someone to break up and then have the other person think that they’re still actually invited to my wedding day

View Quoted Comment When people have been together a long time, unless each individual is equally a friend of yours, one almost always has less interest and knows they are not the primary friend. For people you question, not too long together, you simply invite the primary friend on the save. And if asked say, of course, if you and Sarah are still together at the time of the wedding, we will invite you both. Do not invite plus ones, casual dating, at the time of Saves. And do not promise any plus ones, if you are not okay with the friend breaking up and bringing anyone he wants, which plus one means. If you intend to follow standard etiquette and invite all exclusive, committed couples together, and others as singles, or decide case by case, give no plus ones, but say, we will see at invitation time. Maybe you want someone who knows few others to have a date, only if you have room, but do not commit yourself at this time. This is why lots of people do not send Saves, except to distant people, with travel to plan. You can invite dozens of people you never gave saves to, at invitation time. But once a Save is given, you must invite . So you are right to be cautious.

View Quoted Comment I should have listened to you!!!!!

View Quoted Comment

Coworkers with spouses that you addressed to just the coworker: that means that you did not invite their spouse.

View Quoted Comment

Sorry, I did include spouses - Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe

only singles were addressed as singles Ms. Jane Doe