What do i do when i missed a wedding i Rsvp’d yes to by a honest total accident?

I’d honestly would want the truth... I’d understand that life happens and we forget things or make mistakes.. I’d honestly be very upset but I would prefer you tell
me how you messed up... that way I don’t think you chose not to go.. I don’t think a present would make me feel any differently as a bride receiving it... it would make me feel better as the guest giving it to the bride thou...

Tell them the truth and send a really nice gift after their wedding. It's not really about the giving gift but a the truthful response.

I would also just want the truth. Life happens. There are a handful of people we’ve invited I would be looking for and bummed they didn’t come. But other than those I would get that mistakes happen and gifts are always nice.

Hey mistakes happen!! I did this with both my HMU trial and my aunts birthday party. They were both on a Saturday and I penciled them in on a Sunday.
anyways! I would definitely at least send a card with well wishes and maybe put a separate note in the card just explaining the truth. If you’re willing and able to send a gift too that’s generous of you.

Not only would I send a gift, I would offer up the cost of my plate(s) as well. She may say not to worry about the cost, but the gesture is one that is kind.

Mistakes happen! It sucks and if you reserved on time, you did your part as a guest, maybe for the night if you don't tell them the same day they'd probably think you'd have an emergency. Just make sure to tell them as soon as possible, honesty is the best policy, and if you would like to give them a gift or as previous post mentions offer to pay your plate or take them out to dinner maybe? Hopefully it works out!

I would tell them as soon as possible and definitely give a nice gift, and maybe offer to take them out for a celebratory dinner later if we had that type of relationship. Or if they’re honeymooning, I might try to get some details and send them a little something for that (ex if I could figure out the hotel, send champagne and strawberries to the room with a note), but all just nice gestures and not necessary. Honestly if a good friend told me this story openly I would just feel badly for THEM, I wouldn’t be mad at them for missing my wedding and I wouldn’t expect anything grand in return.

This is a draft of what I am going to send to the groom. Thoughts?


GROOM,
I want to send my most sincere apologies for missing your wedding - I can’t believe I did this and I am incredibly sorry beyond words. To be completely honest with you, I wrote your wedding into my calendar for Saturday, and spent the last few weeks completely convinced your wedding was today, not yesterday. I RSVP’d yes the day I got the invitation and made the hotel reservation that day, so the reservation was correct. When I went to check the check-in time for my reservation at 9pm last night, I realized the reservation was for that day, and thus so was your wedding.
I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. As a wedding planner, I know that this stuff is not cheap. I would like to compensate you the cost of my plate from yesterday as a donation to your Honeymoon Fund on your website. Please let me know how much it was so I can do that for you. Additionally, I’d like to send you and Lauren a gift, so let me know your address so I can set that up.
Congratulations of course to both you and BRIDE - I am so happy for you, and wish I could have been there to celebrate with you! I totally get it if you’re really pissed which I totally would be too, but please let me try and make this up to you. I am so very sorry - but of course, I wish you both a wonderful and happy marriage! I love you buddy.
Your friend,ME

Do we think this is appropriate? Any advice helps, thanks!

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I'm not sure what your relationship is like with the groom, but it seems really, really formal at times. Like the first sentence - "I want to send my most sincere apologies" sounds like I'd be writing to my boss rather than my friend. But otherwise, I think your message is great! Money can be a touchy subject for people and some people can take offense to you wanting to compensate them for your plate, but I think you probably know your friend best and know how he'll take that offer.

Mistakes happen! I think apologizing and explaining can definitely help your friend to realize you didn't do it on purpose and it was a honest mistake. I hope they understand!

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I think this is great and very generous to offer to cover your plate! This should be enough to clear the air I'd hope.

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Curious to know, what ended up happening with this?