What are your feelings?

I had the opposite happen - I had people who RSVPd yes and then on day of didn't show up -_- didn't even tell us an explanation at all after or anything. That pissed me off because that was completely wasted money. Hey I get life happens but a heads up would have been nice. Til this day there are people who still didn't tell us why they didn't come.

Anyone who said no and comes anyway will be turned away. Anyone who doesn’t rsvp we’ll be following up with a message that says “we haven’t heard from you. We need to know by x date or we’ll have to count you as a no”

They wouldn’t have a seat or a plate, so it would be pretty awkward for them.

** but if I had gotten people who came and said no or who weren't invited then I would have only accommodated them if they could fit. For instance I did have some tables that were 9/10 filled so if they could fit in there, fine you can come (even though I'd still be annoyed as hell for showing up unexpected). That was my compromise solution should that have happened because my husband was really adamant about accommodating those kind of people. In my culture it's a super normal thing for uninvited guests to show up and people always friggin roll out extra tables and seats to accommodate them. I didn't want to do that because that's rude of them to show up -_-

We had only one no show, but we did have a family of 5 adults and 2 kids leave after the ceremony. They claimed food wasn't being served fast enough and the dad was a diabetic, but we had 6 options out at cocktail hour and a plated salad out at the time they left. Plus we had two other diabetics who were fine. Regardless, it was a ton of money to lose on the 6 adults and 2 kids so I'm hurt and won't be speaking to them in the future or at least for a long while.

I really hope they dont say no and show up, because 1. you wont have a seat 2. no food! next time makeup your mind or say something

View Quoted Comment Wow that is so inconsiderate! I can't believe it

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Yeah it was a bummer for sure. I just try not to think about it at all, and focus on the positive. We barely had enough times with our guest as is, so it's not a huge deal! The gap of 8 seats in the center of our tables bugged me so I'm hoping it doesn't show up in pictures.

I mean, I had extra seats and for sure would have figured out a way to accommodate them. There's not much else you can do.

Anyone that shows up uninvited will be asked to leave. Anyone who doesn't RSVP I'll get in touch with and figure out... if I can't get in touch then they'll go in the "not coming" pile. If they just show up they'll be asked to leave.

People know me pretty well and know I HATE! surprises so hopefully they will just RSVP and no drama but you can't predict the future lol

Wow, I'm really worried about this happening. When it's time for me to receive RSVPs, and if people say they aren't coming and then they show up.. it's going to be really awkward. I would think that would be rude. But at the same time, I'm having a buffet dinner, not plated. So not quite sure if I'd turn them away. I'm too nice sometimes and I don't know if I'd have the heart to turn someone away from the wedding, even if it was their wrongdoing. I'd probably have to delegate that task to someone else. I find it rude that people would rsvp no and then still show up. Equally rude is someone who rsvps yes and then doesn't come. I think that's almost worse. Imagine paying 100 per plate, and then a family of 6 adults say they are coming, and then they don't show. And the absolute rudest would be if they don't give a reason why they didn't come. UGH. 600 dollars gone to waste from people who said in confidence they would be going. Can't even imagine. Really sad. In any case, it's bad and I honestly don't really know what I would do. If I turn someone away, I wouldn't hear the end of it. "WOW can you believe Andrea had her MOH turn me away? Her own aunt or uncle or whatever" JEEZ imagine you being the bride, and then being shamed for standing up for what's right in the situation. I really hope those who RSVP no will keep it to a no. And those who RSVP yes will come. Because I don't want to have to get mean.

Thank goodness my family and friends know I dont play these types of games, they would be scared to show up without RSVPing 🤦🏽‍♀️

I guess they will be sitting on the one of the cocktail hour couches and be the last person (after vendors) to go through the buffet.

No RSVP, no come to wedding, I jumped through hoops sending people reminders for the final head count, my FH will not allow them in, that's the final word, if you can’t even check yes or no on an envelope that is already self addressed and stamped, we don’t need you at our wedding 👰 🤵

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I agree with this. Like I imagine myself to be hard in this situation and have the coordinator turn them away like no there's not a seat for you. But like you said, what if it's family? But then again I don't think our family would be that naive to do that to us. You just never know though. I think not showing up is for sure worse since you paid for them, and we really are paying over $100 per head. Hoping this doesn't happen in either case.

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Hey Angelena,

WOW 100 per head. Your guests who RSVP yes better show up. Before I found out about this forum, I had no idea about etiquette in terms of weddings. My oh my, have I learned a lot. And when I found out that there are guests (even family, mind-blown) who say they will be coming and then they just don't show up???? Not even realizing you're paying hundreds of dollars for them to eat and drink? I mean the things I read about really boggle my mind. All the best to you, Angelena