What are bridesmaids expected to attend?

You should be up front with any requirements you have which would be the rehearsal (if you're having one), timeline for getting ready, ceremony and reception. If you want to host a brunch or something similar the next day that's great! However the day after shouldn't be required. Just let them know what you're planning and tell them they're welcome to stick around.

I think it's always wrong to assume, just because everyone has different opinions on what's expected. What I would recommend is clear communication about the events surrounding the wedding and then allow your bridal party to decide if they will be able to attend or not. The rehearsal is pretty obvious that they need to be there, but if there is a brunch or other activity for the day after, I would view that as completely optional. Everyone has lives outside of your wedding and there are many reasons they would be planning on going home right after the reception.. especially if they didn't know there would be something going on the next day. When my college roommate got married, she planned a brunch for the following day to get a little extra time with the bridal party and immediate family, but it was completely optional. I live two hours away, and thankfully had no reason to be back home right after the wedding, so I was able to make arrangements to stay. But you need to consider that with your bridal party. Not everyone has the same experiences as you, so it's always better to communicate what you expect instead of hoping they know what you want.

Short answer, the only event they are "required" to attend if they accept is your wedding. If you keep everyone's budgets/lifestyles in mind, more will RSVP to more events, but there is not much you can really do other than try to make it easier for them. If you want them to stay overnight, offer to pay for their rooms. I usually do stay overnight at weddings I am in unless it is super local, but they certainly don't have to. Did you ask them why they were planning to go home? Is there a possibility they are driving back for the brunch the next day?

Thanks for your responses! Logically I know you are all right and I should just be happy they will be there for the main event. My emotions are getting in the way though because I’m so excited about the whole weekend so I just figured everyone was! Haha that’s obviously delusional. I just need to put myself in their shoes and remember they aren’t as excited for my wedding as FH and I are.

The only thing that's really required of someone in the WP is to be there the day of the wedding. Everything else happening that weekend is optional.

It's fantastic if as many people as possible can attend the rehearsal and RD. As someone who has been a BM and is a BM again, the rehearsal and RD would be next on my list of wedding related events to prioritize. But, it has to be considered that if someone can't get the time off work, is traveling and just can't make it in time, or has a family obligation that they just can't get out of...then it's not the end if the world.

Anything happening the day after or happening further in advance of the wedding (day after brunch, bridal shower, bachelorette) is just nice if they're able to be there, but super optional.

I probably would assume to, but they are only obligated to go to the wedding. Do these bridal party members have kids or pets at home to get back to?

Not going to lie, I would assume too lol

View Quoted Comment No, funnily enough the one with the kid is staying! They haven’t explained but I assume it’s financial reasons, which I can definitely respect. I think this all boils down to the fact that I’m not the type of person who plans celebrations for myself (bdays, milestones, etc) so this one time I wanted to take advantage of everyone being there. But maybe that’s why they didn’t think to capitalize on the weekend!

View Quoted Comment Hahaha I’m glad I’m not alone!!

I was in a wedding last May, and it was about 1.5 hours away on Memorial Day Weekend (wedding was the Friday). I couldn't afford to stay 2 nights at $250 p/night, so I only stayed the night of the rehearsal dinner and went home after the wedding.

I think the bride was pretty bummed out I didn't stay both nights because she also hosted something the next day, but in the grand scheme of things, I couldn't afford to spend $500 to stay the entire weekend and pay for hair/makeup as well as give a gift, so I opted to leave after the wedding.

I think if you're having a full weekend of wedding festivities, you should share with your BP the cost and itinerary. A full weekend can be a lot - everyone has lives, kids, obligations etc. I would presume the only required event should be your actual wedding, everything else optional, but I imagine most will attend your rehearsal and stay at least 1 night, but you need to have clear communication with your BP before hand.

Don't let it upset you too much. I'm sure your BP is ecstatic for you. But as others have said, no one will be as excited for your wedding as you and your FS. Try to keep that in mind and enjoy each event individually and celebrate with those who can make it.

I am personally are only requiring the BM to attend the wedding ceremony/reception (and preferably the rehearsal). Four of my BMs are from out of town and it might be hard for them to get off work (even though they plan on taking off the day before). We are leaving for our honeymoon the morning after, so I'm not planning anything for that day.

My advice would to let them all know your plans. If you want them they the day before, day of, and day after. You can tell them that, but don't expect them all to commit if they have other reasons or obligations. Just enjoy and celebrate with the ones who can make it! Good Luck!

Paying for a hotel for a night for brunch doesn't seem worth it if they can and want to get back that night. When I've been farther than a 3 hour drive I've stayed, but less than that I tend to go home. Some with rehearsal/rehearsal dinner. Rehearsing is not necessary if that requires extra travel or hotel stay that they don't want to do. Some want to stay and celebrate with you, others cant for time/money/childcare/whatever reasons. You can invite them, but I would definitely include "please don't feel like you need to stay for the night or for brunch, but you are welcome to the brunch if you'd like!"

Plus, traditionally the bride and groom left for a honeymoon immediately after the wedding or the next morning, so if they didn't know your plans, they may have assumed you wouldn't be around anyways! Definitely get the word around (just be word of mouth) soon if people want to make or change their plans at their discretion.

I know I personally have assumed nothing happens after the wedding unless told by the bride/groom super early in the process.

Normally day after brunches are for those who were staying anyway because they had to or wanted to to thank them for the extra effort that they had to make to attend your wedding (since if they stayed, they likely traveled from further away), not for people to adjust their plans to attend just for some eggs and maybe mimosas at best. We had a day after breakfast, but didn't tell most people until the week before the wedding so that they wouldn't feel the need to change their plans if they weren't already staying. We did tell bridal party earlier though (a few months ahead) if they wanted to know. Some stayed, some didn't.

Like PP, be upfront with what you require but also remember that its really just their job to be there for you on the day of and handle the jobs you assign for then unless they say they can help you else where. I would have told them enough in advance so that they know to stay the day after but again, if they already planned to go home (i.e. kids, maybe work) then they of course can.

The wedding, that's it.

Thanks for all your responses! I was letting my emotions get the best of me but the rational side of me knows they are going to be there for the wedding and anything else is bonus. Thanks again!

I was in a wedding 2-3 hours away last year and I stayed the night before, but went home after the wedding. FH doesn't drink so we decided to save the $200 and just go home. But we did go to the after party for a little while.

I'd be more concerned about them staying the night before so they're there in time to start getting ready.