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Jami
Just Said Yes October 2021

What all did your bridal party pay for?

Jami, on April 20, 2021 at 10:23 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 31
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I had originally planned on paying for most of my bridal party’s attire and accessories (I figure, if I ask you to be in my wedding you shouldn’t have to pay for everything yourself), however, with our budget, it’s just not entirely possible. So, what all has your bridal party paid for? And how did you ask them to pay for said items?

31 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on April 26, 2021 at 11:18 AM
  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    I think when you agree to be in a wedding, you understand there are costs and are agreeing to them! I’m having my girls pay for their attire - so dresses, shoes, accessories, etc. - and I’m going to pay for their hair and makeup on the day. It is definitely a little pricey, but I only have 3 BM’s and really wanted them there with me all day (rather than going elsewhere or coming late), so it was worth the money to me. I phrased it as “I’ll take care of XYZ and you’re responsible for ABC. But if anyone has any issues, let me know - I don’t want this to be any stress!”
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    Nothing. I paid for dresses, hair & makeup if they wanted, they wore their own jewelry/shoes. I would have paid for lodging but 2 were local and the rest were my/H's sisters and they stayed with our parents who wouldn't let us pay. One BM offered to throw a shower and I accepted, but I didn't ask or push anyone to do so.

    I know it's common to have the bridal party pay for things but I feel like that's kind of tacky and rude. "Hey, do you want to pay for the honor of standing up in my wedding?" That just seems silly to me.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I absolutely agree. My bridesmaids are paying for their dress, shoes, and accessories. They are doing their own hair and makeup. But Im having them pick their own dress and since they all picked long gowns I told them I didn't care what shoes they wear.
    • Reply
  • Jami
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Jami ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you!! This is what I was looking for!! Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Jami
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Jami ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    That’s what I am saying. I hate having to ask people to pay for something when I asked them to be apart of my wedding. I never understood that. But unfortunately, I couldn’t afford everything that I had planned to pay for.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I sent mine each 100 bucks n said pick out whatever dress you liked. Initially I told them whatever black bridesmaids dresses they liked, but I don’t care about that anymore. I haven’t even seen their dresses yet LOL. I get married in like a month haha. I also bought my flower girl her dress. As far as hair and makeup goes, i’m leaving it up to them unless they want me to do their hair and make up on the wedding day. I haven’t gotten a definite on that yet except for 1 bm who wants me to do hers because Ive done her hair n makeup before for events and she loves it.
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  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    I think it is common knowledge that if you agree to be in a wedding, you know there are expenses involved. My only bridal party member is paying for her dress and hair/make-up which was optional and she can have it done as she likes. She'll be able to wear whatever shoes and accessories she's comfortable in.


    My fiance was recently in a wedding and is in a wedding in June and he had to pay for his suit rental and will expect his best man to do the the same for our wedding.

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  • Megan
    Beginner July 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    As part of my bridal party gift I am paying $50 towards their hair/make up. I am getting a few additional gifts, too. Personally, every wedding I've been in I expect to pay for everything but appreciate when they've put money toward hair/make etc,

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    They got their own shoes and dresses but i didn't specify anything really other than asking to be in some kind of blush pink spectrum. i also didn't pay for any make up and hair because they did that themselves.

    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
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    Hair and Makeup are not required so I wouldn't worry about that at all. Check department store sales or just have them pick a black dress or something easy that many may already have - they also don't have to wear matching colors either. There's definitely ways to do this without pushing costs onto your BM's if that's important to you.

    • Reply
  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
    • Flag
    I feel as you do, that if I ask for somebody to be in my wedding I should pay for the items needed. So I will be paying for their dresses, hair and make up. They will be wearing their own shoes and jewelry. If it is absolutely not in your budget to pay for everything I would offer to pay for their dresses, since that is the one thing that is require to stand with you. They can wear their own shoes and jewelry (or make the choice to purchase something new, if they wish). If you plan to have a HMUA, I would just let them know that they can elect to have those services (at their own cost), or they can choose to just do their own hair and make up. Or, if you can afford to, you could pay for just one of those services.
    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Expert June 2021
    Chelsea ·
    • Flag

    My girls paid for their own dresses ($60) and whatever shoes they want to wear. If they choose to have their hair done, they're responsible for that too. I'm covering makeup, a spa day, earrings, and getting ready outfit. I'm also covering where they'll stay the night before the wedding.

    • Reply
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
    • Flag

    I think that when you're asked to be in a bridal party, you have an unsaid understanding that you'll be paying for some things, if not all. I'd never expect the bride/couple to pay for everything for me because I know that's not always possible for every couple to do.

    My ladies are paying for their dress. I told them they could wear whatever nude/tan shoes they want! I offered to pay for hair and makeup or one of the two, and they refused lol. They're also splitting all costs for the bachelorette party. I offered to pay for some things there too and again, they refused lol. But I do plan on paying for their drinks/dinner one night and for uber/lift fairs!!

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    My bridesmaids paid for their attire. Because the dresses were black, they already had shoes that matched. If they wanted accessories, they paid for them, I didn't require them.

    Every time I've been a bridesmaid, I was expected to pay for my dress, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup. Every time my husband has been a groomsman, he was expected to pay for his tux/suit rental.

    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    They are paying f or their boots, dress and I am paying for hair

    • Reply
  • Q
    Dedicated August 2020
    Q ·
    • Flag
    Nothing. I am paying for hair, makeup, dresses and jewelry. It’s tradition in my family to pay for your bridal party.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    They’re wearing long black dresses they already own. The men already own black suits. They are providing their own shoes and jewelry. And paying for their accommodations. Hair and makeup will be covered


    • Reply
  • Megan
    Beginner December 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    They are paying for their own dresses and shoes (though I told them they could wear whatever shoes they want because the dress is floor length anyway so they are most likely wearing shoes they already own). Then I gave them the price of hair and makeup for the wedding day and told them it wasn't required and they can do it themselves if they want, so I have 4 bridesmaids and only one of them is getting both services, the others decided they can do the makeup and I am fine with that. The accessories I am purchasing as bridesmaid gifts.

    Honestly I have been a bridesmaid three times now, and I have always bought the stuff myself, and twice I had to pay for travel to a whole other state for the wedding as well. It is sorta expected when you take on the role that it will cost some dough.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly this. I've been in 5 wedding and all 5 of them I paid for my attire and put money towards Bachelorettes and showers. It's an unsaid understanding when you agree to be in someone's wedding that you will have to dish out some amount of money.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    My bridesmaids paid for their dresses, shoes, and travel accommodations. We used Dessy and I gave them about 20 different dress styles to choose from (the most expensive was $150) and I told them to wear any silver shoes they wanted. 2 bridesmaids wore silver shoes they already owned and the other 2 chose to buy new shoes for the occasion. My MOH threw me a bridal shower with the help of some family friends, and she paid for a portion of that, but the bridal shower was just a nice bonus that I certainly didn't expect or ask for.

    I paid for my girls' hair and makeup, even though I wasn't requiring it, and I allowed them to select any look/style. In my family and social circle, the bride usually pays for hair and makeup. Out of the 8 weddings I've been a bridesmaid in, the bride has always paid for my hair and makeup (and sometimes nails too). Generally, bridesmaids only cover their own costs for hair and makeup if these services are optional.

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