What age are you counting as a "child"?

We're only having children of our families attend (so we'll have a few little ones), but I would consider adults only to be 21+.

The universal definition of anyone 17 or younger who is not a legal adult.


We are inviting kids so it's a non issue. The same goes for every wedding we have attended as well, whether since we have been together or anytime prior separately as singles.

Anyone under 18 is what I would consider a child. Our flower girls, ring bearer, usher, and a newborn were the only exceptions that we made. We had several people under the age of 21 attend including my brother (bride's man) and his wife (bridesmaid).

Keep in mind that making exceptions for flower/ring children or the couple's own children is a rarity outside of these forums. People do get upset, though will never say a word to the couple, that they were told to find childcare while someone else's children are in attendance. They are truly an all or nothing thing.

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Yeah that always seemed a little odd to me, too. It seems like often the exceptions still end up being quite a handful of children, and the optics become a bit questionable.

We are doing no guests under the age of 21. Primarily because we are having our wedding in the French Quarter, and nearly all of the activities we have planned require people to be 21. Plus, the French Quarter really isn’t a child friendly destination with people half naked, flashing their boobs, and drunk & acting a fool in the streets.

View Quoted Comment Smart choice! That'll be such a fun wedding!

We looked at maturity, then practicality. We wanted an adult oriented and formal wedding, and there were a huge number of children of adults most likely to come , at least 150 at first estimate. Our first thought was 16 and up ( hubby) and at least in 9 th grade. (me) Then we looked at families, and we had a huge no.ber of 16 and 17, only 2 15.5 both of whom had an older sibling in the same grade who could come, and no one between 13..5 and 15.5 . So we went with the natural break. We did not have any problem splitting the kids in a family, some going, some not. Every social or sports activity for children divides by age. 15 year olds at the Sophmore class dance can bring a date 14-18, but they don't bring their 12 and 8 year old siblings, because if one goes, all have to. Scouts or amusement parks, dances or summer camp, t ball or league football do it, and I have always thought those that say, you cannot split a family foolish. But I was the one who would not pick an age, then have a sib just over go, just under, not. So once we considered our older siblings older kids and cousins, we looked at friends whose kids we knew well. And went case by case. 2 15. 8 yr olds and a 14.9 who was a step sister, we invited all. 17 yr old, 15,14,13 same family, the older yes, the young cluster no even though one was in high school, the 14 yr old. We never told anyone an age or a year in school. We saved 167 seats by excluding the kids we did, for a 7 pm to 1 am wedding with everyone at the wedding from out of town. We had a families thing the next day, all the adults and kids together for a cheap 11 am to 7pm barbecue and picnic. After 2 inquiries, 1 from FI SIL ans one of my cousins on why no children when our families each usually have kids, we said most of hours were 1 big family, one tiny. An as soon as we said we allowed 12 older teens and not 167, shear numbers shut them up. Most of my family weddings with children are on a family farm. Most of FIs in Parish Halls, have kids and only days.

View Quoted Comment It definitely made breaking the news about no kids easier for us. Except with one of my FSILs. She has four children and kept insisting they wanted to bring them on the trip with them. (and she is extremely conservative with her children- No technology, only preapproved TV shows and music, no sugar, etc) We finally had to just spell it out for her that they were going to be exposed to drunken lewdness and nudity if she brought them. Needless to say, she changed her mind LOL

I would consider a "child" to be under the age of 13 (that's a similar cutoff our caterer uses for "kid's meals"), but we personally opted not to include any guests that were minors or under the age of 21 (with the exception of my cousin's now 17 year old son). We wanted an adult only, adult focused wedding.

For me, it was anyone under 50 lol!

We're only allowing our sons and my nieces and nephews as kids. For everyone else, they'll be 21+ so we won't have to worry about any drinking problems or watching behavior.

View Quoted Comment This is not true. Emil Post and all standard etiquette books day to start with the VIP's, which include all siblings of the couple , and their own children. And after family where it says those VIP always invited regardless of whether they are related or not, the children of the wedding party and their parents. O just pulled out Emily Post to check and yes, couple's sibs even if children, couple's own, wedding party kids and parents. And after VIP says about guests with Spouses or SO. But, it is up to the host whether or not to invite the children of parents on the guest list. Just as it says, plus ones are entirely up to the hosts.
That is likely why you read it on WW. That has been the usual standard for a hundred years, except for white tie and black tie formal balls held after a morning wedding with its own family and wedding party brunch
Not many of those .

I wanted no one under 21 since we had an open bar. However, my wife had a few cousins that were under 21, so we made it 18 or under.

We decided no children ( I count a child as under 12) and no one under the age of 21 because we are having a six course wine dinner for our reception.