Wet foot fiancee

I am confused. You don't really care to get married or you both feel that way?

View Quoted Comment I want to get married. He wants to stay together, minus the legality of marriage.

I think many men are like that. I had to put my foot down with my man bc that's how he was. Many of my friends went through that. Men can easily let others affect their decisions. He wants you to wait 5 years? I feel that a conversation needs to be had if you want. If you want to wait 5 years do it but I said I wanted it before I am 40. I would want to wait 5 years. You should have a date that's reasonable for both. It really could just be his perception of marriage but nothing to do with you. My father in law is on divorce 3 so of course my fh doesn't see the positives.

Why he even asked you to marry him if he's okay with never getting married?


I'd start to believe the inly reason he asked you was probably to shut you up about you'll getting married that he figure if he asked you it will sorta delay everything...
If my FH did this BS and really had zero interest in marrying me I'd probably go crazy on him then tell him to ⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

Sounds like you need to have a hard conversation. My FH also didn’t want to “get married” because of a pre conceived notion about what marriage was. We had already bought a house, we’re living together, split all our bills and we’re acting like a married couple just not on paper. We had a big talk about it and I found out he was scared to marry anyone. It was a turning point in our relationship. I was about ready to walk away too. He’s really not into the wedding planning I’m doing and could get married at the courthouse for all he cares but he’s very happy to eventually call me his wife now.


I agree, it seems like he only proposed to shut you up and it bought him some time without thinking about a wedding.

I definitely wouldn’t wait longer than 2 years.

View Quoted Comment Girl you and I are the same person right now lol. Same thing. He didn't see the purpose or benefits and I was ready to be out as well. Luckily things did not go Friday way but yeah the ceremony is for me but he is record about the honeymoon at an all inclusive resort lol.

I wouldn't push for marriage. I would however have a conversation about expectations and where you would like to be in life in the future. If you don't share the same views, it's best to leave now rather than waiting for years to still not be given what you feel you need.


My FH said he never wanted to get married when we first started dating. He is a product of divorce. He hadn't been in a serious relationship before. I didn't give it much thought because the relationship was new. He quickly changed his mind. If he hadn't, I would have left. I'm in my thirties. I've been in enough long-term relationships to know that I'm not interested in wasting time with anyone who isn't sure about me or doesn't want the same things I do.
Best of luck

I’m wondering what the lie you mention was. You said you, and he, found out it was a lie. Who did the lying? I’m confused.

Thankfully, my FH wasn't like this.. So the comment most men are like this isnt 100% accurate!


Sounds like your FH is scared if you'll get married it'll be a failed marriage like his parents. It's very understandable but also he shouldn't of went & proposal to you if he doesn't truly want to marry you. It's not fair to you at all.
I would definitely be speaking to him and seeing if marriage is in the cards for your alls relationship

View Quoted Comment I agree. My fiancé comes from divorced parents, I will be his second marriage, and he had no hesitations on marrying me. I think it’s an excuse. But a tough conversation still needs to happen because getting married when he doesn’t want to is probably not going to end well.

View Quoted Comment We were told that if we got married, I would no longer be able to be on my parents insurance (*I have bad health), which is something we can't afford right now. So when we found out we could (*because my cousin is and the main card holder said it was a lie), I was ready to get going! He seemed excited, but the more and more I started to just let loose the floodgate of trying to discuss ideas, he broke down and admitted he was very uncomfortable marrying, but wanted to be with me forever.

If he doesn’t want to get married, do you honestly want to push him into getting married? I don’t agree with the pp that said most men are like that. Most men I know have wanted to get married (even those who are a product of ugly divorces). Is this a non-negotiable for you? If it is, I’d think long and hard if this is the relationship with you. What if you convince him to get married and he becomes resentful about it?


Also, whether or not you’d be covered on your parents’ insurance plan after marriage actually varies by health plan and is not a yes or no answer across all plans. Your parents’ employer/insurance company are the only ones who can answer whether you’d be covered.

View Quoted Comment First, I might double check this is the case with your parents’ insurance (I don’t know if the rules are based on age, place of residence, or a choice).


Second, your fiancé might be panicking about moving the date up for a lot of reasons—money, coming from a divorced household, etc. I think some counseling would help.

View Quoted Comment

I can agree not all men are like this but these days I can probably count more of my girls that have had to put their foot down with their men. Some men do want to get married and that is great but there are a good amount of men that are happy "playing house". I know many of women that have had to have the talk or set up expectations in advance before pushing forward with the relationship. I am glad your FH was not like that but mine was and for him and even some of my friends now husbands they were perfectly fine just living together and sharing a life and future without the commitment of marriage.

View Quoted Comment

I think insurance goes by age rather marital status. It will depend on the company and the plan. I would also talk to him and ask is it marriage overall or is it having a wedding, My FH has social anxiety and hates having all eyes on him. For my personal situation because I agree that not all men are anti-marriage but there are a good amount that are especially with the rising divorce rate. There are women like that too. I would ask is it the marriage itself or the idea of having a wedding (the attention, finances, etc...). Maybe he would be happy with something just you two or smaller or maybe there is a bigger conversation to have when you are ready. I say when you are ready because it took me awhile to have a frank convo with my FH but I had also reached the point of I am willing to be single if he's not willing to give me what I wanted because we went through a stressful period and I realized if that did not proved I am there for him and that I am a good woman then I need to move on. I made my intentions about marriage clear before we moved in and I had gotten tired of him dragging his feet. I have had various friends in the same situation that also had to have the same talk. I will say do not wait for someone that won't give you what you want but if you are not ready for that conversation then you gotta do it when you want to. Also, my FH does not like wedding talk either which can be normal because for some men or women they do not care about weddings so maybe pace the convo?? You might be more interested in wedding planning than him so do not let that upset you if that is the case.

View Quoted Comment This is like him, its marriage, not the ceremony itself. I've already sat him down and talked to him. He's ok with me bringing it up now and then, but we've come to a compromise. We are marrying in 2 - 3 years, but we're waiting to set the actual date. I just put the weekend closest to our our anniversary (which he suggested as the date. )

View Quoted Comment

That is ok. We are settling on a date and location in the new year. Glad you two spoke and it worked out well. Plenty of time to save. Best of luck.

Thank you to everyone who helped. But the wedding is canceled. There will be no negotiations, compromises, nothing. Some people just won't adapt their stance on things.

View Quoted Comment I agree gurl!
I love your gifs btw