Well i don’t have my parents support...

I mean I think your parents have a right to be concerned that either/both of you are drinking several nights a week. Doesn't sound super healthy. That being said, you're an adult and can make your own decisions. If you are independent from them financially, you don't need their approval. Hopefully they come around, but this is your decision to make, not theirs.

View Quoted Comment I do get their concern, however I grew up with them smoking a ton of weed (like a lb a month which they still do) and dealing when I was growing up. I told them yesterday I wasn’t concerned about the drinking, it’s not a problem for me and I don’t think it’s a concern they need to worry about. Financially we not only take care of us but them also.

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If you're drinking several times a week as well, I'm not sure you telling tell them that you're not worried about it is very reassuring.

You're probably on to something about not being around so much for them. Have you considered a longer engagement? You said you haven't been dating that long. Your a grown woman capable of making grown-up decisions. If you don't feel you need more support from your parents then hopefully they will adjust with time.
Parents are so odd at times. And they never get over thinking they know best.

I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive and I hope they will come around and see that the two of you are building a life together. I can't say if they are latching onto the drinking as an excuse for some other reservations they have about the two of you, or if there is something from their past that the idea of the two of you drinking several nights a week bothers them, or if it's something else. It's up to you if you want to try and discuss it further with them.I'm not trying to judge or anything. I don't know you, you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions and obviously none of us on here know the whole situation. I'm just trying to give you some things to think about to try to understand your parent's perspective so you can communicate with them. There is a difference between drinking several nights a week and getting drunk several nights a week, having a drink or two with a meal, having a nightcap, drinking just to get intoxicated, drinking until one passes out, going out for drinks, drinking at home, etc. If it is the drinking that bothers your parents, is there something about your behavior or your FH's behavior specifically that bothers them other than just the fact that you drink? Did you start drinking more when you and your FH got together? Is it religious (I know you said they smoke pot, but maybe?)? Has anyone in your family ever had problems with alcohol? How do your parents know you drink several nights a week? Social media? Are they worried about the image you are portraying online? I know you said you and your FH run a successful business (that's awesome!), are they worried the business will suffer?
Congratulations on setting a date and good luck with planning! I'm sure your parents want the best for you, and I hope they will be able to look beyond whatever issues they are having and see that you are successful and happy.

First, congrats on setting a date!! Second, I'm sorry your parents are not more supportive. That stinks. As for the drinking comments, if you're not getting black out drunk 3 times a week, its perfectly fine to have a drink or 2 a few times a week. I think there is something deeper going on if that's the only reason they are stating for not wanting you to marry. I think you and your FH need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your parents about this.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your comment. My dad is a recovering alcoholic, I get why he doesn’t like alcohol but i argue it doesn’t mean everyone who enjoys a drink is an alcoholic. It’s just something that I have to accept I guess. As for the social media thing neither myself nor my FH are active on social media so that doesn’t have an impact on us. My parents are aware that we drink because they call me all the time and my response is that we’re at the golf course which is also where we tend to do our drinking 🙈 golf and beer just go together so we’ll. Lol.

I'm sad they aren’t more supportive but I’m also so excited. Neither of us have ever been married before and were super excited about taking this step together. (We also don’t want to push back the wedding date because we want to start a family and 36 is on the back end of fertility years so we don’t want to waste any time. Sad but true.)

View Quoted Comment I agree it definitely needs more conversation, my parents are notoriously difficult to talk to (my dad has mental health issues left and right and I hate to upset the balance). But in the meanwhile they can choose to get excited or not, I’m excited. I get to marry the man of my dreams (literally) and spend my life with my best friend. Can’t ask for much more then that.

View Quoted Comment I understand, and I agree with you. My FH is a golfer and would probably go much more often if he didn’t work so much, but he always has a drink or two when he goes. I’m not a golfer, my grandfather always told me golf is a good walk ruined, but I drink more in certain settings and during certain activities so I get it completely. I think your parents are always going to be sensitive about alcohol because of your dads background, but I hope they realize how much they’ll be missing by maintaining this attitude. Keep your excitement! Happy planning!