Welcome Party Etiquette?

Other people have posted about this too and I think that most have decided to forgo inviting OOT guests when it is almost the entire wedding guest list. We debated it ourselves as probably about 1/3 of our guests are OOT, but decided to go forward with inviting them. Not all will probably decide to come, but if they do that is great too. We are doing a very informal BBQ RD at my parents so that gives us some more leeway than doing it at a restaurant. I think that in your case I would not host the extra event - you really don't need to. I don't think you need to worry that guests will consider you rude.

It's a sweet gesture but I don't think it's necessary. Maybe you can just make some welcome bags for your guests to know you are thinking of them and can't wait to see them at the wedding the next day. Keep the rehearsal bridal party and plus's, and immediate family. No reason to host 2 weddings. I have to been to OOT weddings and have never expected to go to the rehearsal or any other party before the wedding.

If you do want to do something, maybe you can do something super casual. We had a 50 person rehearsal dinner and we did pizza and beer and it was perfect! Relaxing and laid back and super affordable.

Inviting all OOT guests just isn't done, in our region.

I have been invited to rehearsal dinners, as an OOT guest, for relatives who live in another area of the US. At the first, the POG had better food/hosting, than the couple's choices, at the wedding. It was good to have one good meal, that weekend, though. By the time of the 2nd rehearsal dinner/wedding, we wished they had skipped inviting so many people, to the RD, and thrown more money into the wedding/food budget. We had to fly in a day earlier, and spend money for one more hotel night, car rental, and meals, because my father thought that as family, we had to attend.

We didnt invite OOT guests to our rehearsal din as most drove in from out of town, but we did include my family and a couple of friends who flew in. We wanted them to be there. If we had all OOT guests present, it would have been a second wedding lol.

I like Richard's idea of keeping it more casual. Thats also what I did with mine and it was so fun.

As for an "after-party" ... Im just thinking.. as an OOT guest... people would have probably already made a point to find somewhere cool and different to go for dinner and would already be on an outing of their own of sorts. I dont think its necessary to have drinks after dinner. If people are out and about, they may just want to stay out and about.

While the thought is kind and lovely, I dont think you need to do that, unless the guests are at the dinner as well.

We attended a DW in the Caribbean and RD was actually a welcome dinner for everyone. I was like wow this is neat! Some speeches and a slideshow but was still informal. Ours is also going to be a welcome dinner instead of a RD we have a large bridal party and found an affordable place-a brewery. We want to see all our friends and family longer so we are excited. It's up to you to work it. The cocktail hour idea sounds good. I would try to keep it all the same for everyone though and not have people come after the dinner.

It's honestly another example of wedding dollar creep. And there are a lot of reasons not to do it.

The next day is going to include more timestamps and stress than you can even imagine. From the time you start makeup to the time you pack gifts up, you're probably looking at 12 hours mimimum. It's exhausting even if it is exciting.

The rehearsal dinner is just that; a dinner to thank those who rehearse. By that time in the week, you'll be treasuring time to yourself. You'll doubtlessly be finishing things up, and spending six hours at another formal or even semi formal event is not always th most welome invite.

I don't think it's really necessary, and in a way, I think it takes away from the next day.

I think this whole "invite all the OOT people to the RD or a big welcome party" thing is just one more thing being pushed by the wedding industry. The evening before, the only people I want to see are the wedding party and their SOs and the officiant at rehearsal and then at dinner, which is about 16 people. I don't want to be kept up till the wee hours of the morning socializing, when I know I have to get up fairly early to get ready for the wedding. Until I started getting involved in planning my wedding, I had never heard of having a big party the night before the wedding to "welcome" people.

ETA: I didn't mention parents because they are all deceased. Our kids are in the wedding, except for FH's daughter, but she is included in the 16 people. My only living sibling is in the wedding and his only sibling is deceased. I don't want it to sound like our families aren't invited!

I totally agree with Celia.

If you do decide to do it, I'd say you shouldn't have the FILs pay for it since it's not really part of the rehearsal dinner.

ETA- I've also never heard of a welcome party for OOT guests. I guess we don't have them around here?

We have decided to have a small rehearsal with just parents and the wedding party. Afterwards we will let people know word of mouth that we will be hanging out at X restaurant's bar if anyone would like to stop by.