Weight Loss Pressure

Same here 5’1 and was 125lbs when FH and I started dating, but after my 2nd undergrad I put on weight up to 150lbs. It’s been a struggle to take it off. Just start working out and start eating better. The feeling is not going to go away whether you elope or have a grand wedding. I’ve come to the conclusion that regardless of the wedding, I need to have a better weight so that’s focus which ultimately helps the body image.

I understand how you feel. I’m 5’5” and about 150, when me and now DH first met I was 130...before getting married I had a baby, so it’s taking me awhile to lose the baby weight. When I would go dress shopping, anything form fitting was a bit of a struggle, I was really focusing on my larger tummy and boobs that were just way big...not in a good way!! It was hard for me.


Through the process, I’ve finally learned to be kinder to myself. We would talk to/about another human or animal in that way. (Meaning, the negative body talk we all tend to do.). So we owe it to ourselves to show ourselves kindness.
I hope that helps some. Try to focus on the things you love about yourself.

I meant to say we would NOT talk to another human/animal like that...

I don't have any advice. I'm a big girl so anytime I go to the doctor the solution to any problem is loose weight. Cough, pneumonia, bronchitis, broken arm, uterine cancer, beheaded or fatally stabbed? "Have you tried loosing weight?"


At the end of the day, I'm going to be surrounded by people who love me and think I'm great. They all know what I look like. My fiance has seen me naked. He hasn't run away.
I'm terrified I'm going to be bloated and not fit into my dress. I'm probably going to work out obsessively in the 4 weeks before the wedding. And watch what I eat with a bit more scrutiny than usual. I'd love to loose 10-15 or more pounds. But I'm not here to stress myself out about it.

I'm 5'4 and 185lbs. I have spots I worry about too, but I focus on muscle toning instead of weight loss and don't look at the scale anymore. Start working on self-confidence. I HATED myself and my body not too long ago and it took a lot of support and self-care to get where I am now self-esteem wise. I don't look my weight (people are surprised when I tell them and they've seen me in person), and I'm healthy by test standards. As long as you feel healthy, it doesn't matter what the scale says. Be Confident. On your wedding day, all anyone will see is a stunning bride. Don't let your doubts ruin your dream wedding.

I had a really hard time with this when I started looking at dresses, and I eventually went to look by myself to kind of bite the bullet and see how bad the situation was going to be. I was at my heaviest at that point: 5' 6" and well over 200 pounds. 🙈 And I STILL found beautiful dresses that flattered me - even bought one because I thought it looked ok. Then i put it in my closet and promptly stopped thinking about it.


I've lost weight because I changed my lifestyle. Not because I worried about the wedding or I was upset at the scale - I made a decision for my health and I got going. But even before that, I was content knowing that my FH loves me for who I am. He's excited with me because I lost weight for ME. The by product is the wedding. But if you think about it, your future spouse loves you for who you are. You are gorgeous I'm sure, just as you are. There are always problems we obsess over, especially as brides, but you also have to realize that no one will probably notice but YOU. So if you cut yourself some slack and embrace your beauty, you'll find that everyone agrees with you that you are radiant no matter your size.
And if they don't, I'm sure plenty of the ladies on here would take some people down for you.

I'm 5'1 and I weigh 180lbs! When FH and I were in college (2010), I was tiny like no more than 110lbs. Then we went our separate ways and reconnected in 2015 and I was about 150lbs. During these last 4 years together, I went from 150lbs to almost 187lbs. But now I at an even 180lbs. My family comments about my weight ALL THE TIME and at first it bothered me, but then my FH told me he love me the way I am, and if I want to make a change then make it for myself and not for family. My FH proposed to me (in my mind) on the worst day lol, my hair was in a ponytail, I had my nails cut as short as possible, eyebrows needed some TLC lol, I had on a plain t-shirt and leggings. Your FH loves you for you! He is marrying you because he loves what he sees. Eloping will not change the way that you feel. Trust me, I hate shopping for clothes and dreaded going out looking for my wedding dress, but something about those dresses make you feel some type of way! There are a few poses that I hate from our engagement pictures because you can really see my little double chin lol, but those are also the best ones because you can see how happy we are together. Please don't get down on yourself about the weight. You have plenty of time to make small changes now that can help with your journey. Good Luck.

Thank you all so much for the kind words so far!! This really has been a journey to trying to get comfortable, and I’m trying to get back to the joy of wedding planning without stressing about my looks, and the advice is really appreciated!!

I have been pressure to lose weight from my mom and I know she wants me to look pretty, and also fit in my dress, but all I got to do is get the body area that will show tone. Forexample, my mom says my arms are big and floppy (they look like bat wings); well easy fix, I will get that area tone. I know I got my dress 2 sizes up, two years ago, for just in case I do gain weight. Which I did and that was do by my new employment, where I get stress all the time and stop being active (I'm an artist, so I'm basically sitting). Mine you, I'm 5'7 and when I first dated my FH I weighted 165, and when we date 140, and now, during our engagement period, 170. All that is caused by IBS and my endometriosis problem, and to control all that I have to be on the depo. But I would rather be 170 then 140. All I suggest is work on or tone the areas you want and work on your self-esteem too. You need to love yourself first and love the way you are. I see you are losing your confidence and you need to boost that up.


You are beautiful and you will look gorgeous on your weddings day.

I'm 5 foot 7 and roughly 180 lbs.. size 16; Shopping for any clothes sucks. Nothing ever fits right because I just have HUGE hips but no butt or boobs. Aaaanyway. I was listening to the Bridechilla podcast and one of the people said that they were on a diet and trying to lose weight for their wedding, but ended up 'tossing it in the f@$k-it bucket" because they were too stressed. I then decided to also toss it. Our Fiance's love us how we are, and if we love ourselves, then disregard everyone else. It says so much more about them that they are so judgemental of your looks. If you're happy, just focus on other things. If YOU'RE not happy with how you look, that's totally different.

Go try on some wedding dresses and see how you feel! You’d be surprised how gorgeous and good they’ll make you look! If you like how you look in them, you wont have to worry so much about losing weight, especially since it didnt bother you until thinking about wearing a dress!

I was the same way. I'm 5'3 and when I met FH I was around 125-130 lbs. Last time I weighed myself I was 157. I have no problem with exercising but I have no will power to diet the right way. I do good for a couple weeks and then I give up. I ended up buying a dress that looks great whether I lose the weight or not. But I feel the same way you do. I'm uncomfortable with myself so I understand how you feel. Just remember that your FH loves you no matter what and that's why he is marrying you. If people are going to judge you they are unfortunately not people that I would keep around. Your wedding day is going to be the happiest day of your life regardless! Congratulations!!

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Yes! I second what Erin said! I always imagined that I would feel hyper insecure in a wedding dress. I have always struggled with clothes shopping due to be short and little bit bigger. Wedding dresses are built so so differently than most clothes, it's a totally different experience! The way mine is structured, I don't think you could see my gut even if I tried to push it out.

I’m a plus girl. First time I got married I was big but had loads of trouble finding a dress to try on (one place held it up to me for me to decide). This time much different. My fiancé loves me and will marry me no matter what. But I’ve been doing weight watchers for a year, I’ve lost 40 pounds and have more to go. Will I ever be skinny? Nope. Did I have problems finding the perfect dress? Nope. Did I feel beautiful in all sorts of wedding dresses even the mermaid? Yep. I’m still a size 18 and when I marry in 4 months I hope a 14 but I know I will rock it. So can you!

Honestly I feel the same way. I’m on the taller side so I’m pretty proportional but I still don’t like the way I look sometimes. But my FH tells me he loves me the way I am, and I know that we will be surrounded with love on our wedding day.
My FH and I are working out together. We decided it was time to make a change and we just went for it. We’ve been going to the gym together and focusing on muscle toning and doing cardio, and we are eating healthier too. We don’t look the scale as much because that can be discouraging, and we are considering it a diet or anything like that, we are looking at it as a lifestyle change. Wishing you luck on your journey& just know you are beautiful the way you are. ❤️