“Weddings are expensive”

I completely agree!! It’s all about priorities. However unless you want to fight the Wedding Tax, thinking outside the box is the way to go. DIY is often more expensive because no one ever considers the cost of supplies plus the cost of labor/time/sanity at minimum wage per hour.


Couples everyday get married at the courthouse or their local house of worship and have a simple cake and coffee reception afterwards. Unfortunately the courthouse and cake reception are viewed in a very negative light here. Those who marry at the courthouse say “we signed legal papers but we didn’t have a wedding.” Yes you did. Or “you need to serve a full meal with cocktail hour and beer/wine at minimum because guests are traveling and anything less is rude. Those who don’t like beer/wine are out of luck.”. Hmm tell that to the countless couples who served just desserts and nonalcoholic beverages since the beginning of time.
People get caught up in the peer pressure of Pinterest, Instagram, ALL Wedding TV shows. They get the misconception that that is the only acceptable default for a wedding and anything less than the national average of $10k-40K is less than and guests will be embarrassed and it won’t be worth their time. People now even ridicule the proven adage that “those who want to attend will find a way”. Rehearsal dinners have become just as elaborate and expensive as the reception itself and when the traditional inexpensive pizza from your local chain and beer/soda is suggested, it’s “not good enough” because it’s not fancy. Some people say they can’t enjoy themselves without alcohol for the duration of the reception and they will leave if it’s not there.

Obviously you can’t please everyone. But those you are inviting should be close enough to respect your choices and set aside their preferences for one day. Or just decline the invitation.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Weddings can be nice and affordable too. You don’t have to spend your life savings on it. As for the DIY stuff, that doesn’t have to be ridiculously expensive or stressful either. You can DIY and make it super simple. Like today I went out and got the stuff for my bridal party bouquets. Costed me 11 dollars. Took maybe 5 minutes to make one. I think people need to stop setting a ridiculous standard of “this is how it HAS to be” for a wedding when really weddings can be anything you want. You want a ballroom with a fancy chandelier, a cocktail hour with acrobatics and Gordon Ramsey to personally cater your wedding then go for it but if you also wouldn’t mind getting married in your neighbors backyard in your old prom dress while your dad grills burgers and drinks beers you can also do that or literally anything else. Weddings can be as affordable as free if you really wanted to.

Weddings are big business and a lot of the extras are driven by the wedding industry. As long as it is well hosted for the time of day, all other things are optional.

I love that you made this post! I've seen and heard of people paying 30K-75K on their wedding and I personally can't see how, I mean if that rocks their boat then go right ahead. But I rather see that money go into our family instead of a one night celebration. Don't get me wrong IF we won the lottery then yes I would spend 75K on our wedding but that's is lottery talk. Right now I'm trying to keep under 6K, TG I find ways to cut costs.

The only requirements for a wedding: your fiancé, an officiant, a valid marriage license, 1-2 witnesses as required by your state, and a reception immediately following the same day with no gap for all who attended the ceremony. Everything else is 100% optional. Unfortunately society says that all those optional things are required full stop. And then they wonder why weddings cost so much.

Agree with this. We are skipping many of the things driven by the industry and Pinterest such as rehearsal dinner, favors, guest book, corsages and boutonnieres. These things are unnecessary to us. You can do whatever works for you, not feel pressure to keep up with Platinum Weddings and David Tutera. Although that would be nice!

I definitely agree. Weddings are only expensive if you choose to make them that way. It seems that many now seem to prioritize vision and aesthetics over everything else and use "But weddings are expensive!" and "It's my day!" as excuses for poor hosting or otherwise being inconsiderate of bridal party and guests.

As long as the wedding is legal and all guests invited are hosted appropriately, none of the rest matters. Even the photos that so many seem willing to treat their loved ones like props over are unnecessary. You don't need to copy all the stylized pictures on social media that are designed by the wedding industry specifically to get you to spend more money on extras. There's nothing wrong with doing that if you can afford it and want to spend the money, however no one should be made to think that their wedding is somehow less than because those extras aren't included.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been watching shows like four weddings and they’re like “my budget is 80k” 😧 my house doesn’t even cost that much? Could you imagine spending that much on like a birthday party? If they have the money to do that, by all means! But no one should feel bad bc they had to budget and pinch pennies to have a wedding. I think the most expensive thing should be the honeymoon bc it’s your vacation away with your new spouse.

Our wedding is costing a fortune but it’s largely because we are spending money in food and drink and a large guest list. I would never want anyone to feel bad because their wedding is less expensive.

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Oh, I wish I could honeymoon. But, COVID. Plus, I work too much to take off, and spent my earnings on my man's dream wedding. It's a cycle. But, at least we are married.

I agree with y'all. No one should feel bad on their style, party, and financial choices. This also includes people who are willing to be extra. Looking back, had I known the world would still be closed and risky, I would have spent more $ on decor and wild out on my 1 party of 2021.

I completely agree, and its one of the things I hate seeing here in the forums. Almost anytime people post trying to cut corners and find similar people, there is always someone saying "just spend the money" as if they are gonna cash app them the extra thousand bucks or something. I personally have settled on an upscale backyard BBQ wedding for about 60 to 75 people. We are gonna rent a nice airbnb by a lake or with a pond. No tent. I am DIYing everything. Only renting tables and chairs, and i will buy all the table stuff, which is cheaper than renting. And i will just resale what I can. No hand food, im thinking sliced brisket and chicken with sides and rolls, and im considering asking some family to make the sides and just catering the meat. I am making my wedding cake. I finally came to terms with not having a videographer lol, but im thinking of setting up a camcorder to at least catch the ceremony and getting a nice photographer. Offering signature drinks instead of a completely open bar. Now i do think i will spend quite a bit on decor/flowers because i want a lot, but even still currently looking at about 9k total. Oh and i wanted to forego the DJ and just use playlists, but I think I will go ahead and get one to make sure its really a party.