Wedding/Due date

1. You should be extremely happy for her and not make it about you and your wedding.

2. Simply ask her how she feels about the possibility of being at/in your wedding. If she still wants to try to make it, plan it as if she is going to be there and if she isn't, tell her to make sure she takes lots of pictures. ETA: you don't need a MOH and uneven sides is 100% ok.

Do you have any other friends who are BMs? Graciously offer her an opportunity to bow out as MOH due to her pregnancy, but still invite her to the wedding. Her due date might run late so she can still be there to celebrate, but by that point she is most likely going to be very tired. She is still very early in her pregnancy right now and may think she'll be fine for your wedding, but that may change over the course of her pregnancy. If she insists on remaining MOH, check in with her frequently to see how she is feeling.

Breathe. 1) Due dates are not an exact science, she could still be pregnant or have a newborn at your wedding; 2) this will not change the fact that at the end of the day, you will be married.

I was the MOH in a wedding a week before I delivered my first child, and another BM delivered a couple days later. I wouldn't necessarily count her out unless she would prefer not to or has to travel. Talk to her and work it out.

Most times women are induced before or on their due date now. If the baby is healthy and large enough, they won't let her go past her date. I honestly wouldn't expect her to be there but I agree with PP, don't make it about you. Include her in everything like inviting her to pre wedding events but talk to her and find out what works best. If I were her I probably would bow out. I wouldn't want to spend money on a wedding I probably can't attend while saving money for my baby.

@Spaghetti-I don't know where you are, but they certainly don't do that here. I have friends who have gone to 42 weeks before induction and that was after determining that the baby wasn't coming naturally.

The standard for term babies has changed in the past 5 years according to WHO and at least where I am, they don't do unnecessary inductions because they can cause trauma.

My poor sister was a week and a half overdue with her second before they induced. Every pregnancy is different. I would let her know that if she wants to stand with you great if she wants to be a guest great.

Have a plan B and hope she has the baby after your wedding day. I had a bridesmaid who was very pregnant and told me at the wedding that she'd prefer not to walk down the aisle. She was in the photos. It was fine. She had the baby 3 days later.

First, just be happy for your friend. You saying the pregnancy was planned sounds like you're annoyed she didn't schedule her birth around your wedding. Second, I would wait until closer to the wedding and let her decide. There isn't really much planning involved with having a MOH. If she can make it, great. If not, the wedding will still go on as planned.

Thanks. Just to clarify it's not that I'm not excited- this will be my niece or nephew. It just hurts to feel like I'm constantly supportive and I don't get the support back.

ETA: I basically set up and took down her whole wedding, communicated with vendors throughout the whole thing, and even coordinated multiple beer runs as we ran out of alcohol. She also had specifically told me she was planning to deliver two months before our wedding or wait till after. I told her she did not have to do that, and earlier this month when we picked a bridesmaid dress she told me we don't have to accommodate a baby belly. But, my point of this point was how to plan. And I think it's just to plan on her having a seat, rather than a place to stand.

Is this her first pregnancy? The average length of a pregnancy for first-time moms is 41 weeks, not 40. You're also supposed to think of a due date more like a due month, it's highly unlikely that she will actually have the baby on her due date.

ETA: @Spaghetti.... That's definitely not how that works most of the time. My mom was due mid-November with one of my sisters, and went into labor December 14. If baby and mom are both healthy, they're going to let things progress naturally.

OP, just remember no one is as excited for your wedding as you are. I'm sure your friend wants to be supportive, but being pregnant is extremely exhausting. Like hard to function exhausting sometimes. She may want to be excited but not have the energy.

Just let things play out. No need to ask her to step down. If she's due right around your wedding, she's only newly pregnant and the first 3-4 months are the worst. Let her get past that before complaining about how no one is supportive. ETA grammar and words

@libbylane yes it is her first. And yes- I have a lot of knowledge about pregnancy, due dates, etc. I'm aware she may be a new mother or very pregnant, or in Labor on my wedding day. Which is why I'm concerned on how to plan.

@bemyguest my concern is not her desire, it's how to plan.

Just talk to her about it. Offer to let her pull out with no hard feelings or obligations. Hopefully she can make it but if not then no worries

You're just going to have to go with the flow & see what happens. You can't control when the baby will be born, when she will go into labor, or even if she's just feeling too exhausted to be a part of it. If she ends up dropping out the last minute, respect her wishes & carry on. So someone else will have to hold your bouquet during the ceremony... no big deal.

I think that's about all you can do. Make sure there's a seat in the front row available for her if she needs it. If she can't make it or needs to leave early, be understanding.

Had I not had horrible prodromal labor and felt like dog shit for a week, I would've worked (in retail during Black Friday week) until my scheduled csection. Just relax and see how she feels later on.

If her pregnancy is typical and she doesn't go early, she should be able to attend (given you make some provisions for her like comfortable seating and lots of water). I worked a full day on a Friday and went into labor on that following Sunday, 36 hours later.

If her pregnancy is atypical or if she has a lot of swelling or gives birth early, I'd count on her not being there.

Be flexible and let her decide, play things by ear until it gets closer.

@spaghetti that's not true. My doc would not even discuss induction until I was one week late. Luckily I went into labor on my own.

My best friend who is like a sister is due the day after my wedding. She would have to travel so she won't make it. We both are heartbroken that she won't be in attendance but it is what it is.

Make her feel as included as you can but realize that she also has a big event and may not be as involved or care as much about wedding stuff as she would if she were not planning for her babies arrival.

What planning are you talking about? Things she has to do? Or things you need to do?

Things you need to plan just plan like normal. Plan as if she was going to attend.

Things she may plan? Let her deal with that. It's not your concern.