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Just Said Yes October 2023

Wedding Weekend- Shared House

Paige, on July 6, 2022 at 2:35 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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My fiancé and I are planning a small 50 person wedding about 2.5 hours from home in October 2023. We plan on renting a large house from the day before the wedding (Thursday) through Sunday with our families and close friends. We are not having a wedding party. For other guests we plan to recommend/book a hotel block at nearby hotel/s with multiple budgets in mind.

We are planning on asking those who we are close with individually if they are interested in sharing a house with us and make a weekend of it or if they prefer to book a hotel.
My question and concern is: How can we gracefully ensure that those who opt to stay with us pay us their portion of the deposit and final bill in a timely manner? Is it more polite for us to pay the deposits and then have others reimburse us? If we have money left over from our wedding budget we are more than happy to subsidize the cost as much as possible! The goal is to make sure those who say they want to stay together follow through.
Are there any party planning/ bachelorette party tools that help to split these types of costs?We may end up just doing a hotel block for everyone if it’s too complicated risky!
Thank you !

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Bird, on July 8, 2022 at 8:07 AM

Expert October 2018
Janet · on July 6, 2022 at 3:06 PM
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One way is to be super direct. "No Pay, No Stay" but you have to hold firm. They have to pay or reimburse you before they travel to the house. Other than that, there isn't really a way to collect from those who committed. And there may also be a couple who paid but had to back out due to whatever reason. Then you may have to deal with them asking for their money back
The biggest risk you take is paying for the entire venue/most of the venue should this happen. Then you also have the division of days. Are guests paying per night for the whole weekend, etc. It could be a super smooth process or a terrible hassle.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on July 6, 2022 at 3:22 PM
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This arrangement sounds a little awkward to me. I've been to a number of weddings like these (small-ish wedding, bride and groom rent a large house and invite the people closest to them to make a weekend out of it and stay in the house), and in my experience, the bride and groom have always footed the whole bill for the house rental. I would probably just do the hotel block for everyone because you don't want to put yourself in the awkward position of money-collector.
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Master October 2023
Cece · on July 7, 2022 at 9:00 AM
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I have to agree with Hanna. I think the easiest/least awkward/least risky option for you would be to just get a hotel block. Then everyone is still in the same location, has their own private space, and will be responsible for their own bills.
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Super June 2021
Bird · on July 8, 2022 at 8:07 AM
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My fiancé at the time considered this exact idea. We anticipated people being unsure of their plans last minute, also I wanted to be alone w my husband on our wedding night. Ultimately it seemed too complicated and expensive.
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