Wedding vs only immediate family?

Our wedding was our immediate family and closest friends. We had 40 guests total. We enjoyed this intimate guest list and didn't let it stop us from having the traditional reception. I think even if you decide to just have your immediate family you could still have the traditional reception on a smaller scale at a restaurant so you don't feel like you're missing out. You could still do first dance and cake cutting and whatever else you envision a traditional reception has.

I think a family-one wedding is still "real" as long as you do real weddings things like speeches, dinner, dessert, dances, ceremony, etc.! How does your fiance feel? You don't have any close friends you'd want to involve?

At first we were going to have a big wedding but after calculating costs etc., we decided on having a small wedding. We paid a venue $400 for ceremony only for up to 150 guests, and we can also take pictures there after the ceremony. We are having the reception at a restaurant that can hold up to 140. The restaurant allowed us to have a DJ, bring in our cake, and centerpieces and has just enough wiggle room to dance. We are strictly only inviting family and we are happy with that decision. Sure I would have liked to have a huge wedding but at the same time I am happy that once the wedding is over I won't be in debt and as long as all my family is there I am happy with our decision because I will still have it all- I get to walk, I get to wear a wedding dress, I get to have all the pictures, I get to have a small reception with centerpieces, cake, DJ/dancing.

Another thing to consider is that the average cost per person you invite to you invite to your wedding is about $70. Think about it this way: Would you really want to pay $70 for people that you don't really talk to, to witness something so special and intimate? I sure wouldn't.

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My SO does not care at all, so long as we get married. I have maybe 10 good friends I'd want there, but they all know my other friends and I wouldn't want those people to get upset. One of my friends introduced me and my SO but we haven't talked to him or hung out in 2 years. Thus, my struggle! It feels weird inviting people who don't bother to talk to us, and we don't talk to them.

We initially were gonna do the big wedding but started getting stressed with all the things u mentioned, mainly frustrated with people. So instead our wedding will be at a a banquet room of our favorite Italian resturaunt. 24 guests and we r still having the traditional wedding things just on a smaller scale. First dance, cake cutting, my gorgeous gown, FHs tux. We will have light dancing available if people choose to partake. This is a very upscale restaurant so everything will still be elegant and romantic like I envisioned.

I tend to think a couples decision of wedding style should be focused around them first, not the guests. If you feel uncomfortable thinking about people you don’t see often being part of the ceremony and reception I would have stick with a more intimate wedding. You could have a bigger reception down the line, a vow renewal or big anniversary party if you want to celebrate with more people in the future. I guess I don’t think it makes sense to make super personal decisions based on how friends you aren’t close to anymore might feel. You can do as many “traditional” things as you want (dances, speeches, traditional venue) without inviting anyone beyond your nearest and dearest.

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I never thought of it that way and I love your way of thinking! Thank you!!

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Agreed. Our wedding was the similar. We only had 38 people there. We did not invite family or friends out of obligation, we invited the people that we are close to. That's it. We invited our friends & family that have supported us and mean the most to us. Sure, we could have went all out and invited all our family and everyone we know, but that is not what we wanted. We chose a very small venue for that reason alone. We were forced to keep the guest list very small. People were really understanding about that.

Do what makes the most sense for you and your SO. You will not regret it. Best of luck!

I agree with some of the posters, if you do a smaller wedding but still feature "wedding like activities" such as cake cutting, light dancing, your own music, etc then it should be awesome. We'e having a wedding of 35 people (that's including FH and I) and we wouldn't want it in any other way! We have no shame in that. We'll be having our reception at a restaurant, we're just trying to narrow down what restaurant would be best for us, but we're leaning towards a buffet restaurant, we'll also be looking to see if the restaurant can accommodate cake cutting, music, etc but even if they don't, as long as we like the place, that will be the main deciding factor. I understand where you're coming from, and I know how you're feeling. Don't worry about it too much. We were thinking about having 80 people and more than HALF of all the guests on our list, we don't EVER see... like we're talking about for YEARS.. so what is the point of inviting people we don't ever see? It just doesn't make any sense! So now, our intimate wedding is just a blessing and we feel so good about our decision!!!!

My youngest is getting married in 9 days. She invited 130 people, 80 are attending and they know every single person. For our family only those people who have been involved in her life, the friends she sees at least monthly but talks to at least weekly, his family, and his friends for the same criteria. I am the MOB and in all honesty all the persons attending I have met so they are all part of their lives. If you want a “perfect” wedding however only want those who are involved I. Your life do so. Nothing says that you have to invite or allow others to invite those you do not know or associate with. It is nice to offer your parents a number of people that they wish to invite however if that’s not what you desire then don’t do. A wedding can include those people you want and can also be done in any fashion you so desire. This means a fancy wedding for 30 with a venue, flowers, band etc or the same 30 people at an intimate restaurant celebrating the marriage.