Wedding vs. House (& Eloping) - Thoughts?

We were originally trying to buy a house and plan our wedding around the same time. I considered eloping, but I really don't want to miss out on having a wedding. We've decided to hold off on buying a house until after the wedding. We could theoretically do both right now, but that would be way too much of a financial strain when it would just be better to wait. Not to mention, then everything in buying a house would be as a married couple, which I would prefer anyways. At the end of the day, there's no wrong decision, it's whatever is best for the two of you.

For me personally, I see it as we can buy a house any time in the future, but we can’t get married just any time.

We're paying for it ourselves as well and I wanted to elope for that exact reason. All of this money is being poured into one day. A house can last a lifetime. Unfortunately for me, FH wanted a wedding SO we're having one. Don't get me wrong, I always wanted to have a pretty wedding but spending the money is just a little hard to swallow. We'll be around $25k after it's all said and done. I honestly think it's a toss up. You'll hear people who had a huge wedding say it was the greatest day of their lives and worth every penny while others say it was a waste. On the other side of the fence, my sister eloped and though she won't fully admit it, I think it makes her sad that she didn't do a wedding. All personal preference I guess

We bought our house a year before our wedding. We were lucky because we had some extra stock we were able to sell that paid for a large chunk of the wedding. We really wanted to focus on our home first and were able to have a small, intimate, but still beautiful wedding. I think putting a home first makes a lot of sense. If eloping is not what you want there are ways to have a beautiful wedding without spending a lot, and postponing a bit may help as well. As long as you both do what is best for you, you'll be fine.

I know it's not what you asked for, but I think there's a way to have both. You can have a beautiful wedding for your immediate family and closest friends without breaking the bank.

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Can you offer some suggestions? =) Initially, our guest list was about 75 guests, and that was narrowing it WAY down from about 150 guests. How much further down could it be narrowed? Or who could I even eliminate? It's so hard when you're paying for everything on your own.

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It's definitely a personal preference! I have a lot to think about. 25K is about what we were thinking it would cost. That's sooo much money! Lol!

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Also true!

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I know! It stresses me out every time I think about it. My parents were always very frugal with money (they eloped) so that's how I am still. My fiance was brought up the opposite way. "It's just money. You'll make more tomorrow." *facepalm* I actually work in the financial industry now and assist clients in saving for life goals/retirement so this has been very hard for me. lol

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I would stick with immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and closest friends only. Maybe 30 people tops. Price out venues and vendors to see what's cheaper in your area; an all in one venue or a DIY venue where you can bring in your own vendors. Fridays and Sundays tend to be cheaper than Saturdays. Italian and BBQ are typically the least expensive catering options. Skip optional items like favors, photobooths, welcome bags, etc. Our guest list is 135 and we're spending about $25k, so you should come in much lower than that.

I totally see the struggle in this because weddings do cost a lot !!! Like unbelievably so. I think I'd still want to celebrate my marriage though in some way even if it's not large. I ended up with a large wedding and was fortunate that the wedding gifts actually covered what I spent. But I didn't plan for that. And so my mindset was what was I comfortable with spending?

It was a no brainer for us - we bought a house. I was sick of paying rent. THAT is throwing money away literally every single month.
A couple years later we are comfortable in our home, make much more money and literally have no problem paying for a wedding (vow renewal reception). I don't think there is an angle that would justify having a wedding over buying a house. Blow so much money on one day and possibly even go into debt for it when you can make an investment of a lifetime instead. IMO - I know lots will desagree.

We bought a house back in April and our wedding is this upcoming May. For us, we are trying to keep the wedding until 10k (which we should be under). Ceremony is in a park ($20/hr) and reception is at FH parent's house (we would have done the park for that as well if they hadn't offered). BBQ for our 50 people was going to be around $800. You can definitely make it work to have both if that's what you want!