Wedding vs House Downpayment - Rant/vent

You can always have a small civil ceremony at the court house or somewhere else and then take your immediate families out to a nice dinner at the place your choosing - that should not cost too much money and would be a lovely way to have a wedding and still save the amount you would like for a down payment.

Another option is to just push the wedding out until you can save enough without feeling like you are pulling form the house fund,

First of all, would your parents mind that you used their money for a purpose other than it's original intent? Secondly, I wouldn't necessarily bank on their gift unless you have the cash in hand already.

As for restaurant weddings - I think they sound beautiful and would suit your situation well. Olive Garden isn't formal enough for a wedding reception, IMO. If I were you, I would look into a 4 or 5 star restaurant with an area that you could reserve to do both the ceremony and reception.

I'm confused... Regarding the contract, what venue are you talking about if you want to "do" your wedding at Olive Garden, "but not sure where the ceremony would be"? Is Olive Garden the venue you're referring to? I would think if you're considering Olive Garden as the venue, you'd have a little more time to decide.

Aside from that confusion, having a restaurant reception is completely fine! Can you have a small ceremony at a local park? Or even the courthouse, since you don't plan to have that many people? Then take everyone out to a nice lunch or dinner at Olive Garden

I read a good idea is to rent out a huge house on Airbnb and host both there

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We found a venue that is near where I grew up and they have the date for our wedding on hold for us. The venue manager is supposed to send the contract to my mom on Friday since she is out of town right now.

Thanks for your in put and support!

If you already own a townhouse and aren't renting, once you sell that you'll have a good chunk of money that will go towards a down payment on another house. Just something to think about!

Do you know how much your parents are planning to help out with the wedding? It would be good to know if they'd even be willing to put that money towards a house instead - because sometimes parents really do want to give their daughter a wedding!

You can do a really nice small ceremony in a park pavilion (usually $100-500 to rent depending on your location) then go to a restaurant afterwards, you can find really nice restaurants that have events menus that are between the $30-50 per person + drinks and tax you won't go over 3k for dinner.

Also, check with the family that's giving you the money if they're okay with it being used for a house. They could want it for the wedding because they want to make sure that they can celebrate with you. In my eyes experiences are more worthy than material things and if it delays a downpayment by a year it can be worth it. You're not having a huge wedding where it's 30-50k or going into debt for it, so it shouldn't be a long delay.

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My mom actually told me about the idea when I told her that the venue manager was going to send her the contract to sign. That caused a whole other mess of emotions but that was easy enough to clear up with a phone call to my parents.

Yeah, the only people who think the Olive Garden idea besides me are two of my friends, maybe my FH too because he kinda likes the food. Really though it would have to be something nicer. My mom is Italian so I don’t think she would go for their food, lol.

Thanks for your feedback!

View Quoted Comment Yes absolutely.

If you already own a house, why is this an issue right now? And wouldn't you make some money on the sale of your house to put towards a new house when the time comes?

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If I could push the wedding I would. The FH wants to be married sooner rather than later.

The civil ceremony is a total option. Before we started wedding talks the FH and I just wanted to elope but then thought it might offend both sets of parents.

Thanks for your feedback!

If you own a townhouse, you would use the equity you have in that property as the down payment for a new house, unless you aren’t selling the townhouse. Are your parents comfortable with you using their money this way instead of for a wedding?

For a wedding of 40 people you’re really looking at less than 10k. What’s the budget/amount your parents are willing to give you? If it’s significantly more than the wedding could you do both?

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That is how I feel! I know logically it’s better investment but I am also sure that I would like to do something a little bigger than just going to the courthouse. I actually don’t even want a fancy dress, just something super casual.

Plus it is such a small group of people. If we could do it in my parents backyard that would be ideal but that turns the whole wedding into a destination wedding for everyone but my parents.

Well, from someone who is currently paying for a wedding AND saving for a down payment on a house, I say go for the house. If I could turn back time, I would have just had a small wedding over the summer and just had a little get together afterword. I'm also not the type, however, who has had a dream wedding since I was a little girl either. It really depends on if you think not having a grand wedding is something that you think you'll regret in the long run.

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Yeah, my mom was the one who brought up the idea. They say they want to do whatever I decide. I’m kind of indecisive though because I know the house is the better investment. I was planning on renting out the townhouse instead of selling it. Or at least try not to buy with the contingency of having to sell because of the race to find a buyer.

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First of all, love your avatar! Omg Daria is awesome!

I’ve never dreamed if my wedding either. I knew I would get married but I just kind of assumed it would just happen. I don’t thing the grand wedding is something I will miss but I would actually worry more about my parents. My brother has been married twice and both times didn’t tell my parents until after he was married. I always felt like they felt a bit slighted by that.

OP. - I’m in the same situation as you. I already own my home, but we will likely move within a few years since the house is not big enough for kids. I really want the dream wedding though, so we’re doing a manageable guest list of less than 100 and keeping the budget as small as possible. We’re working with a budget of 10k which should be feasible as the reception space is $28/person including food, tables, chairs, linens, and cake cutting. Ceremony site is $500. My dress was purchased at a consignment shop for $165. Personally I think having a wedding and a down payment is doable. But if the ceremony isn’t as important to you, then have a ceremony at the courthouse or a park and then have the reception at a local restaurant.

View Quoted Comment Lol, thanks about the avatar. I love her.

Maybe your parents will be okay with just having a civil ceremony and maybe a dinner, as long as theyre there? If your worried about how they'll feel, you should probably run some ideas past them and see what they think.

Another Daria fan here.

Look into botanical gardens or parks, or even the zoo. Lots of places do a less expensive "ceremony only" package, then you can take your guests wherever you want for dinner.

I now live in an area where we have so many restaurants to choose from, but where I grew up, Olive Garden was a real treat! Try to choose something that will appeal to your guests. Is there a mom & pop real Italian restaurant? Prices are probably similar or even less.