Wedding vows

We plan on doing both. But if FH or I decide at the last minute not to do personal vows, we'll save them for notes to pass to one another on the wedding day.

I don't think we'll write our own vows for the ceremony. FH said he wouldn't really feel comfortable sharing his most personal thoughts and feelings to our entire families/friends, he wants that to be for just us. I think we will do letters with our own written vows inside them before the ceremony. That way we can put on the show for everyone else and still know exactly how we're feeling on that day

Love these ideas, we are doing letters as well.

We're not doing personal vows - we both want the ceremony to be short and quick and we're not outwardly personal people anyways. I do plan on writing him a letter to leave behind when I go to get ready in the morning though.

We had a very traditional Ukrainian Catholic wedding so no vow writing from us! Which I'm grateful for because I am not good verbalizing such mushy things lol.
I wrote some mush in the card I gave him with his present.

FH is super uncomfortable with being the center of attention anyway which means sharing his personal thoughts in front of everyone is a definite no-go so we're sticking to the traditional vows. I also think there is something very endearing about the traditional vows and they encompass everything we want to promise; no need to fix what ain't broke and it's one less thing to have to plan out

We are doing traditional. One less thing to think about. Plus I enjoy the traditional and could have some twists to them.

We gave each other letters with what we wanted to say to one another and did traditional vows for the ceremony. Writing vows seemed like a lot of pressure (and I have seen this go *terribly* wrong) so we decided to have one thing be easy lol.

We are doing the standard church vows. However, we are writing personal vows to read to each other that night after the reception, just the two of us.

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Same here!

Yes. We went with traditional vows. For a number of reasons — I’m a crier so worried I’d break down trying to get through vows, also because I like even vows and I feel like they’re so hit or miss when writing your own (I didn’t want to be the funny one while my husband was sweet and serious!), and I didnt want to bear it all in front of everyone! Plus , we kind of like tradition! We were very happy with traditional vows

We're doing both. Two ceremonies, twice the fun. lol I do like the idea of writing letters to each other though. It's very sweet.

View Quoted Comment Can I ask why two ceremonies? (We’re also thinking about having two ceremonies, he is catholic and wants to marry in the church, I do not)

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The number one reason is that we wanted to be married on our anniversary, October 10, but did not want to wait another year for a Saturday. We are a mixed faith couple so since the elopement ceremony was her idea and I wanted her to have a Christian minister. We will celebrate our marriage with a traditional handfasting before friends and family that will also include a blessing of the elements for my pagan path. She also wanted to get married in our favorite local town, our elopement location, but didn't want everyone to have to pay $25 in tolls to get there and back. Our handfasting venue is closer to most of our guests and no big toll to pay. While being legally married means a lot to us, we wanted it to be more intimate. We will be going up with just our sons and maybe one other couple who are our very close friends which is perfect for us. Ironically that is the one where we will be using the officiant's vows, the vows we have written will be shared at the big celebration.

View Quoted Comment Got it, thanks for sharing! that makes me feel better about the idea of having two ceremonies.

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The only thing that is making it manageable for us is making the one ceremony a true elopement style wedding. I have a pretty dress, but not a gown. No worries about flowers, vows, or any of it. Just showing up with the license, get married, go to dinner. The planning is going into the second ceremony and we are being honest with our guests about the two ceremonies as well. We don't want people to question later why our anniversary is 10/10, not 10/12.

We are not writing our own vows!

We are having traditional vows. We always knew we wanted traditional not because we didn't want to write our own but our families are very traditional so having traditional vows was one way to honor our families.

Thanks everyone! I recently heard on a podcast that a Woman had written a letter to her daughter for her wedding day. I love that idea!