I have a few questions and hope you can help me:
We have been married for 6 years this year and together for 12 years. The proposal at the time and unfortunately the wedding went differently than we had hoped. We were separated at the time due to his work and when the proposal came (and I should have been happy), a lot of negative thoughts unfortunately came up. I know now (thanks to therapy): It was all too much (work, household, father's illness, long-distance relationship and my master's thesis).
My husband meant well at the time, but the proposal came shortly after a family member died. So I had a breakdown at the funeral at the time. I still can't quite explain it to this day. I'm very optimistic and was always in a good mood up to that point.
I'm grateful that we stayed together. In good times and bad. There was a year between the engagement and the wedding. And first of all: I love my husband and our marriage. I'm sure many couples would have split up and I'm proud of us.
Unfortunately, a lot of things at my wedding weren't nice. I think after the bad engagement experience (I don't even have the engagement ring anymore), I kind of just wanted to end the topic. The reason for the Marriage is 100% Love, The reason for the fast wedding ...maybe it was the sadness about the engagement.
So we got married in glorious sunshine in October. The wedding was spontaneous and there were only two months in between. When we told his family that we were getting married in 2 months, everything fell apart.and now you ask yourself what can happen in 2 months
He comes from an Italian family and the expectation was always that all family members (200 people) would be invited. As we were only celebrating in a wine bar, the number of people was limited to 50. I could have guessed it, but I didn't have the strength at the time: his mother invited everyone without asking us. On the day of our wedding, there were 120 of us - my friends and family in particular had no room.
The white roses I wanted were changed to red roses by his aunt. I didn't know that either. I was naive and chose his cousin's flower store. I didn't even want a DJ and got one anyway. And yes, it was a nice idea, but the completely wrong music was playing and the DJ didn't want to change his playlist.
At the wedding there were open arguments, my husband was told he had let his family down and I was told I was selfish when his family said goodbye.
And with all these impressions and a wedding dress, which I was then also talked into, this “most beautiful day” was over. It took me a year to be able to talk to his family again. It's very sad (because until the engagement I liked them all very much), but the situation is still cold.
Because of our two children, we see each other every two to three months, but my husband is still angry too and can't forget.
A year after the weeding I went back to therapy (for a whole year) and have worked through a lot of things. It makes me sad, my first therapy was after the engagement and the second after the wedding. It feels really wrong.
But around this time the idea of getting married again came up. I was a bit embarrassed by the idea and I don't like being the center of attention, but I thought about it a lot.
I discussed the issues with my husband a few years ago and didn't thought he would remember. But for our 10th anniversary, he really did propose to me...again. It was really crazy because I always thought “you can only do that once”. I wear this ring every day now and a few weeks ago he came up to me and said “we still have to plan our wedding”. I took it as a joke at first, but he was serious.
Now I'm wondering and I realize that I'm afraid of the reaction: Can I really re-celebrate a real wedding for my, say, 10 year wedding anniversary? With a wedding dress, flowers, guests and location? What would your reaction be? We would also send out invitations this time. We only sent out invitations via WhatsApp back then. I'm afraid of being looked at strangely. We are already married and have two children. For many people, 10 years of marriage and a little over 15 years of partnership are certainly no reason for a celebration.
Many people know the story, but of course not everyone. I also ask myself, do I have to invite his family? Of course I would like my parents and siblings to be there.
I would appreciate some neutral advice
