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Just Said Yes September 2020

Wedding Venue at Friends House?

Brandy, on January 1, 2020 at 12:34 PM Posted in Planning 0 7

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So my fiancé and I are having a small wedding in Nov 2020. I’m having a hard time finding a venue that is reasonable and doesn’t require all attendees to stay in a hotel.

I live in the Seattle area and love the idea of a wedding amongst the pine trees, and venues like that near town are hard to come by. Here’s the thing, we have a friend who has a beautiful house, just outside of town. The house is on 5 acres and 3 acres are just forest. I’ve gotten it in my head that I’d love to have the wedding there. I’m just not sure how to go about asking them.
The guest list includes them and their young children so it’s not like I want to use their house for a wedding I’m not inviting them to, but it just seems like a strange thing to ask. I also don’t want them to feel pressured into saying yes or have to deal with a ton of stress the day of the wedding if they do say yes.
Has anyone else done this kind of thing before? How did you ask and how did it go? Any suggestions on how to broach the subject?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Sexypoodle, on January 1, 2020 at 1:20 PM

Champion July 2019
Veronica · on January 1, 2020 at 12:41 PM
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I honestly wouldn't has that would put a ton of pressure on your friend. They will likely feel like they have no other choice but to say yes. Also, if I wasn't your friend I wouldn't want a bunch of strangers at my house. Plus, weddings held at ones aren't necessarily cheaper because you have to rent tables, chairs, linens, plates, silverware and bathrooms. Parking can also be an issue. I would look for something that is within your budget rather than putting all this on your friend.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 1, 2020 at 12:42 PM
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Even if a BFF, this seems inappropriate. I can’t imagine people wanting to use their home as a wedding venue (unless for their own wedding but even still). I think you should skip asking. 😞

What about going back to the venues you liked and asking about: 1) a weekday evening wedding, 2) a brunch wedding. Venues usually have ridiculous requirements for a Saturday evening wedding but not for other dates/times.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 1, 2020 at 12:47 PM
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Have you looked up “affordable wedding venues” on Google? What about The Center for Wooden Boats, Rainer Chapter House, Arboretum, or a city park for the ceremony and a private room at a restaurant for the reception?
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Brandy · on January 1, 2020 at 12:56 PM
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Yeah, and I don’t want them to feel like they need to say yes. We’re not really worried about cost, most venues we’ve
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Brandy · on January 1, 2020 at 12:59 PM
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Whoops, phone is acting up. I’m really just trying to figure out about whether or not it’s reasonable to ask, which it seems like it isn’t, so we’ll take it off the table.

The main reason for wanting to use their house is the location and the trees. All venues I’ve been interested in have been within our budget, they’re just really far away. Since our family is all flying in, we don’t want to have to drive really far, but I also don’t want to give up the tree setting.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on January 1, 2020 at 1:18 PM
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If she’s a true friend then I don’t see the harm in asking. Do you regularly speak with her? If so, maybe during a conversation, discuss your wedding vision and how you’re struggling to find the perfect venue. You can mention how and why her house would be perfect (trees, space, etc) and that you’re looking for something similar. That will give you a read on her willingness. Maybe she’d be excited for you to use her home... and maybe she would decline. But as the saying goes, “If you don’t ask, then the answer is always NO”.

Also you mentioned wanting a small wedding. I think that helps, knowing that it would be an intimate affair and not a large event.

We allowed a fried to have a reception at our home after she received an award. Since we were friends, FH and I knew some of the guests (and there were some who we didn’t know). I guess I don’t see the problem in asking because she’s a friend.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on January 1, 2020 at 1:20 PM
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Also, offer to hire a wedding planner so that your friends won’t have to deal with anything.
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