Wedding too expensive?

Why not elope?

View Quoted Comment Because I did that last time and would really love a proper wedding this time.

It sounds to me like you and FH need to talk about finances and how much he was expecting to pay for the wedding and what his concerns are. Perhaps its something you can reach more of a compromise on you, instead of you just feeling like you're giving things up.

Are there any other ways to cut costs? Like cutting guest list, type of receptive, location, etc.

What are you giving up? I am planning to make my own decor. Pinterest has a ton of ideas if that helps.

View Quoted Comment

Well, if you can't afford to host a traditional wedding (I, personally, think elopements are proper weddings) why put yourself through the stress and financial anxiety?

Did you discuss budget?

Can you push the wedding back?

Can you host only immediate family?

$550 for your dress is not a lot on average terms, but it is if your budget for the entire event is $5000, it becomes a crazy expense if the budget is now $2500. It is a matter of allocating your budget to the many areas that make up the wedding you want. The next next that will dictate your budget is the number of guests followed by where you are getting married. Prices vary greatly between states. You should start at drafting a guestlist, it should be very small, maybe 15 people. You can still have a very nice wedding on a smaller budget but you cannot have a big wedding because big weddings vost big money.

Also, when you say other people will take care of the "extras" does that mean they will help financially, or are they baking/DJ? I would advice (and most people here would too) to not depend on friends for important items like baking your wedding cake... It is a recipe for disaster.

As for your SO... you need to talk money and be comfortable talking about money, not only for the wedding but for everything, daily living, big expenses. The wedding can be a huge test to see how you will work together as a married couple in terms of finances.

Don't get discouranged, just take a step back and take one step at a time.

Good luck!

Unfortunately, $2500 is not going to be enough for a "proper" (by which I assume you mean a mid-size to large traditional reception) wedding. And pushing the cost off to your family and friends by making them either pay for services or work for free is not fair to them.

$550/$2500 is a huge portion of your budget for a dress, so your FH does have a point there.

What are his reservations about spending the money on the wedding? Is there a way you can compromise? Maybe by pushing the date back so you have more time to save?

How big is your guest list? I don't see a wedding for $2500 that isn't a courthouse wedding, and dinner at nice restaurant afterwards going very far. A $500 dress on a $2500 wedding budget is too much.

It sounds like both of you need to sit down and discuss what your budget is. My fiance says everything is expensive but he does not know the average cost of things. We sat down and talked about cost regarding every vendor and found a median. Even then we went WAYYYY over budget. My wedding dress was $2,000 so i personally do not think $550 is expensive. If you were my fiances fiance he would be so happy if i spent that much!!

View Quoted Comment Same here...we were sitting with the florist and he’s talking “ideas” which I’m thinking to myself are going to cost an arm and a leg. Then, the next thing you know, he’s saying how expensive it is! Well DUH.

OP, can you and FH come to some kind of compromise?

I think you need to sit down and talk about both of your expectations, FH and I wanted to cut back, our budget was quickly exceeding out 1500 we set. We decided on what was important to to each of us, for him it was a plated dinner for me it was my dress. And the rest we looked where we could cut back. We aren't having any flowers outside of bouquets that I'm hand making with fake flowers, between me and our families were DIYing the decor. We found a venue that met our budget and included everything we wanted in it, and we made huge cuts to the guest list. You guys just need to set a budget and talk about what it is you both want and find your middle

My fiancé said the same thing. Additionally both of our families are going through some hard times (not just money) and have mentioned that being too extra is a waste. But that’s just stress talking. Weddings are super stressful. When he sees you walking down the aisle he’ll realize how worth it was and marvel at how perfect you made it. A wedding is more than just a party, it’s a memory that you will have forever! I also don’t think most people realize how much more everything costs when you say “it’s for my wedding”!! You can cut money in a bunch of places and still have an amazing wedding! I’ll be buying my flowers from Trader Joe’s. Amazon is a great place to find cheap candles and tulle.

My budget was originally $6,500 It quickly jumped to 10 grand once me and my fiance decided that there are certain things we are not willing to go without. We'll also be spending a little extra on a weekly basis toward our decor. it really comes down to what you are both willing to put forward or go without.

"Extra wedding stuff" is just that: extras. You don't need them to get married. You've asked your friends and family, who should be guests, to work at your party, presumably for free. This is what many would consider to be rude behavior. If you can't afford the party you want, you wait, you save, you budget, and you do it all so that those people who should be guests don't feel like slave labor for your party.

You spent 10% of your original budget on your dress. That 10% is now 20% of your budget. That is $550.00 that would have been able to pay for a cake and then some. There is a flaw in the thought process here.

There are ways to be able to afford to have the wedding you want without having your guests work for the honor of their attendance at your party:

- Cut your guest list

-Push your wedding out to allow you and FH more time to save money

-Decide what you NEED (not what you want)

There are a lot of optional and unnecessary things that many brides become convinced they need for their wedding. There are exactly three things that are absolutely essential for a wedding: you, FH and an officiant. Technically speaking, everything else is an extra.

If a wedding is a definite choice.. I would push it back. Save more.

I think you need to explain to your FH what weddings typically cost. Show him a break-down of each items cost and you can talk together about where (if any) you can trim from.

Elopements are proper weddings. All you need for a proper wedding is a marriage licence and someone to marry you.

If you want a big, traditional wedding reception with a lot of food, music, dancing, booze, fancy cake-- well 2500 isn't going to get you that, even if you only have 10 guests.

Here are my suggestions:

1)Go to a courthouse, then take your family and a few close friends out to a nice meal. I think you could get away with as many as 25 guests, but I wouldn't go over that amount. Call a few restaurants and see if you can get a private room and a price - fixed menu.

2) Get married at church at 2 pm and have a cake and punch reception following immediately in the church rec room from 2:30-4pm. Serve cake, soft drinks, and order a few finger food platters- small sandwiches, fruit and veggie trays, cheese and crackers.

3) take the 2500 and go to an island and get married just the 2 of you. Get married on the water. Hire a photographer to take some gorgeous pics on the beach.

I would elope on a beach or in the mountains. You don't need a bunch of people to make it a wedding or special. Have a courthouse wedding with a few people in your dress take them out to dinner and take pictures. You can purchase a small cake to cut.

View Quoted Comment Same here. Even if it's within budget, my fiancé thinks everything is expensive. Lol. We set our priorities in the beginning and chose the top 3 items of importance; great atmosphere (dj, food, bar, etc), guest experience, and a good amout of color (I really need color). Anything outside of that is negotiable.

You guys may also need to discuss budget a bit more. For us, we've revisited the budget SEVERAL times. It's important to be on the same page. If the reasoning is simply "this is expensive" the convo needs to go further. FH and I both agree this wedding is expensive, but we also agree we both want a wedding so we've just gotta push forward.