Wedding Stress?

Have you two had a serious conversation of what you both want out of marriage? If he agreed to all of this and he is changing his mind then it could be because it is now all real. Having a child is a huge decision so maybe he is not ready right after marriage rather he wants time to enjoy being married for awhile because as I am sure you know, once you have kids your priorities and personal time and finances change. I am sorry you are going through this but as someone posted in a video you are entering a legal contract with this person and need to be on the same page about things like this. Tough conversation to have but maybe it needs to because you do not want to be in a marriage feeling like a single mom. I have friends in those situations and they are not loving it. I am sorry to say this and do not mean to be negative but best to be sure you are on the same page.

These are pretty big issues. I would sit down with your fiance and talk about your future plans. Even though the wedding is only 2 months away, you don't want to enter into a marriage when you two do not have the same views on kids/buying a home. I would consider seeing if you can see a couple's counselor ASAP. If he previously wanted the same things as you and has now changed his mind, I would ask him why. It's ok for him to do so, but understanding the process behind it could be helpful for you two to get on the same page, if that is possible. If you two no longer have compatible life plans, it's better to find out now (no matter how horrible and painful it may feel) than to get married and find out afterwards.

I agree with Hannah. It is scary to have that conversation but my friend's first husband promised kids and when they got married he said he did not want them. They divorced a few years later because ultimately that was important for her. Housing is one thing but kids is a huge deal. Hopefully he just does not want them right away but does want them in the future. Also, decide if you are willing to wait a bit too because it could just be that he does not want to start right away. Hopefully things still keep you on the good side of things.

View Quoted Comment Yeah. We both knew we wanted kids right after the wedding. He was the first one to say he wanted to start trying after the wedding.
We got pre-conception checkup. We are starting to learn how to track ovulation. Ect. So I’m not to sure what’s going on.

View Quoted Comment

That's good. It sounds like you both want kids but maybe he just wants a little time to enjoy married life. Kids are a great thing but a life changer. Ultimately do what you both want and I am sorry to intervene but I think it is good to enjoy a bit of time just as a married couple (not years or anything) and then start having. I think just have a good talk with him just to see what the issue is. Men are not always communicative. My FH after having planned our whole intimate wedding finally opened up why he just wants it to be us two and it goes back to an embarrassment in his childhood at his dad's wedding and it made me realize that it was because of social anxiety. I thought he was being difficult because of his personal opinion on the institution of marriage but it was because he does not like attention on him. Good conversation and we are compromising. Men need to be more expressive lol.

I would just talk to him. Your wedding is so close. If he has changed his mind on his future plans, you need to know to make sure you're on the same page.


Could he possibly be stressed about money? Kids are a huge expense, as is buying a home and having a wedding. Just the way you said he was either or about the house and kids made me think about it.
I know I'm kind of freaking out about finances right now and kind of want to stay in my house instead of buying a larger one after all of the wedding expenses. I already have a child but adding another would definitely cause me to rethink our situation even more. That's a lot of big deal stuff going on at once.