Wedding Speeches: Rehearsed or From The Heart?

Best man. We are doing it traditionally (fob, groom, BM)

It's up to them as long as it's good! 😂 Personal I would prepare and rehearse but I much prefer doing things off cuff. Some people definitely can but I'm not sure how many can do it completely off cuff and it till be good

View Quoted Comment My maid of honor wrote one and rehearsed but got so nervous in front of the crowd that she basically went off the top of her head 😂 it was still beautiful though
The best man also went off the top of his head, it was very heartfelt 🥰

View Quoted Comment Ha ha. Yeah whatever works for people. For me, I like the security of knowing Ive got notes or whatever. I'd be way too nervous to do it off the cuff and so would probably go so wrong ha

As long as they say nice things is all that matters! I don't know if they'll give speeches as both are socailly anxious.

I believe there will be a little bit of both. We are having my brother, FH's brother, BM, and MOH speak. I think my brother will have his rehearsed but the rest of them will just wing it day of lol

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I would definitely have a few notecards on standby in case I got nervous.

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An alternative is to make a video in the comfort of their own homes and then play it at the wedding.

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Will they all do their speeches one after another or throughout the night?

My moh did hers rehearsed/prepared and the groomsman kind of winged it. I preferred hers ahah not just out of bias that she is my bestie but also because I could tell she really was thinking about it for a while

I think in both instances, both MOH and BM are going to feel more comfortable writing and rehearsing them. I don't know about anyone else, but I know I would (and I will!) be a bit nervous speaking in front of a bunch of people I don't know.

I've taught college communication courses, including Public Speaking, for decades. Almost everyone does better with at least some preparation. The ideal is for the content to be so well planned out, that the speaker can deliver it conversationally. Most great speakers who sound like they are talking off the top of their head can do that because they're really well prepared. I've heard some horrible/totally inappropriate/really awkward wedding speeches over the years. I strongly recommend making it clear it's a toast, not a speech, and giving any and all speakers a 2-3 minute time limit MAXIMUM. If there's a need for longer speeches/tributes, I'd schedule them for the rehearsal dinner. Work with your DJ/master of ceremonies to schedule and manage the speeches so they don't drag, and give clear instructions about who is "allowed" to speak. One of the worst weddings we've attended had about 45 minute of "open mic" with a bunch of random people rambling awkwardly and/or crying.... Also, consider having a smaller number of people speak for different groups (e.g., FOB welcomes and thanks guests for attending on behalf of all the parents). Good luck!

I prefer non-rehearsed, but I'm fine with both as long as it feels personal!

Both are given speeches. I think they should be written out but improvised as well. Its nerve racking to speak in front of a huge crowd so making a draft speech is probably a good idea

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I also prefer a rehearsed speech. Something about it just makes me feel more at ease.

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I'd also be super nervous. I'd probably opt to just make a video or picture collage. It's unique and you don't have to get up and speak in front of people.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this experience. I found it super helpful.

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Good point, I don't like a generic speech. I like when it feels personal.

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I completely agree.