Wedding Shower for older couple; Third marriage for both of us.

Recipe shower for the win!

If you don't need things, turn down the shower. As a guest, I would assume that you had the wherewithal to set up your own home.

If you want the social experience, you can host a brunch, luncheon or afternoon tea. None of those are gift giving events.

I would skip any showers for a third marriage to be honest.

gift cards.... A friend of mines request just gift card and she uses them for mini trips they stay on the go...

I'd suggest an engagement party instead or go with a recipe shower!

Agree with PP's- A shower is not appropriate. You cannot ask for gift cards either.

I like the recipe idea, because we both enjoy cooking, especially grilling on our patio. I am not at all comfortable with anything that involves actual wedding gifts, so maybe I will suggest an outdoor engagement party where guests bring their favorite party/barbecue/grilling recipes. Of course, it's too hot for that in Louisiana right now, so would waiting until this fall be too long to wait for an engagement party?

Stock the bar maybe (if y'all drink)?

A friend's FH had a honey-do shower for things to help "fix" the house and that could work too

Could you skip the shower, don't call it an engagement party, and just have a BBQ or something? It seems like your friend wants to celebrate your upcoming nuptials which is sweet, so this would be a way to spend time together with your closest friends.

I love the idea of a recipe shower. However did everyone give you gifts for your first two marriages? I don't know if they would want to give gifts for a third wedding shower

Absolutely no to asking for gift cards that's just as bad as honey funds.

Recipe shower sounds great.