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Just Said Yes October 2022

Wedding rsvp

Danielle, on August 31, 2022 at 11:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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My cousin and her husband were invited to our wedding. Ahe has several teenage/young adult children who were not included in the invite. I learned that neither of them will be attending, but she went ahead and RSVP’d and is planning to send her oldest child….but never asked me or my fiancé if this was okay with us. I suppose since neither of them are going to attend it is not like we are spending extra money, but it seems like an inquiry should have been made. Right or wrong?

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Latest activity by Theresa, on September 1, 2022 at 7:56 PM

VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on September 1, 2022 at 2:11 AM
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If your cousin wishes to send her oldest child in her stead she should have cleared that with you.
Whether or not you accept the RSVP is up to you but if it were me, unless it was someone I actually wanted to come or would cause more drama than it is worth, I would be denying the RSVP.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on September 1, 2022 at 6:53 AM
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I agree. If the oldest child wasn’t invited, they should have asked you first. Are you having other teenagers at the wedding? It might not be spending extra money, but if you had a B list of people the RSVP could be used for one of them. Hope it all works out for you!
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Super May 2022
Erin · on September 1, 2022 at 10:49 AM
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Agree that she should have cleared with you first since you named the specific persons on the envelope that actually were invited. If you feel strongly enough about pushing back, you can go with something generic like “we can only accommodate guests listed on the invite.”
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Expert May 2010
Theresa · on September 1, 2022 at 7:56 PM
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Right, an inquiry should have been made. I think my concern right now would be, is the oldest child attending alone? Or, are they assuming a Plus 1 will be attending, as well?
I'd probably call and say that you were surprised to see the child will be attending instead, since you heard nothing of it until you received the RSVP, and then make sure she is attending alone, unless you know the person they would be bringing along and you don't mind them also attending.
Honestly, people these days. I don't understand why they think weddings are a free-for-all where anything goes.
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