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Julie
Beginner October 2020

Wedding Ring

Julie, on March 27, 2021 at 5:08 PM Posted in Planning 0 15

My boyfriend and I are planning to elope in May. He's in the army so he doesn't make a lot of money. I'm not sure he's even bought a ring yet and I'm not sure how to ask without sounding whiney. I'd be disappointed if he didn't get a ring for the big day. How do I bring this up to him? Also, are there any cheap wedding rings I could recommend to him to buy?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Adelyn, on September 1, 2023 at 5:48 AM
  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I think you should be direct and let him know a ring would be important to you on the wedding day. You can look at Etsy for ideas, there are plenty of non-diamond engagement ring options.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    He can probably get an inexpensive ring at the PX.
    It’s very important for you to be able to ask for things that are important to you. A ring is not an outrageous request. If it’s not in the budget then you guys can have a conversation about that, but please don’t think that you are asking for something selfish. Conversations about money are difficult, but get easier the more you have them and are vital to a healthy successful marriage.
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  • M.
    Dedicated July 2021
    M. ·
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    Are you all officially engaged and did he buy a ring when/if you all got engaged? If he did and you do have a ring, I would probably find a few bands online and send him some screenshots with comments about them looking good with your engagement ring.

    If you don't have any ring right now, I would bring up wanting to find a band for him and also mentioning yours at the same time to get the topic active - if he pushes towards not wanting one, absolutely state that a ring is important to you, it may be an uncomfortable situation but it will be even more uncomfortable in the long run.

    Like the PP mentioned, I would definitely check out Etsy and I have bought jewelry for myself from Mejuri and they are pretty affordable as well. Good luck!

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Maybe you could just nonchalantly ask him if he would prefer to get each other‘s wedding rings separately, or go together. If he wasn’t planning to get one, that will definitely make it clear that you want to exchange rings at your ceremony.
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  • Celina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Celina ·
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    Metal masters has some real nice men’s rings and so affordable. Have him avoid any place that will give him a deal cuz he’s military. Some places can really just completely jack up prices.
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  • Julie
    Beginner October 2020
    Julie ·
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    We should avoid military deals?

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I think what she means is that businesses will often prey on young military people. They know they will get their money - the Dept of Defense is not called the country’s biggest debt collector for nothing - and will often work hard to make sure something is a really good deal when it’s overpriced and has outrageous finance charges and fees.
    If things are really tight and you are looking for simple gold bands, the PX is the best option. It’s right on post, inexpensive, tax free and they aren’t going to gauge him.
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  • Celina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Celina ·
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    Should and shouldn’t. When I was in there were times where I would go get approved for something but what they wouldn’t tell me was the fine print stuff like it surcharges for not being able to pull money small stuff. I guess just be mindful of everything. Not saying ignore the deals just make sure he looks into then before taking it. Idk how long he’s been in or anything but fairly new shoulders/marines etc. are the ones who tend to be like this is a good deal take it and it isn’t. That’s just my experience.
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  • Celina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Celina ·
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    Yes this^^ I couldn’t word it properly. The PX is amazing. But if he gets a military star card which is a credit card just pay it like any other card. I had one and it was great but I wasn’t responsible enough to stay on top of my stuff.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Oh man, I was checking my credit the other day and it gave a synopsis of everything and it showed my “longest credit account” and it was my Star Card from 1992! I guess it’s still there. My credit limit back them was $500. My ex and I used it to buy a real mattress instead of my old futon!
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  • Celina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Celina ·
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    I got mine when I was in MOS school I used it to buy a pair of oakleys and a hand full of other Marine stuff that I had to have soo baadddf 🤦🏽‍♀️. Good times though haha
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Are you planning to buy him a wedding ring, too? Maybe suggest you go shopping together for two rings within your budget. It's important to be able to discuss sensitive topics with each other, including finances and plans for the future. It's also vital that you learn to communicate your needs without worrying about sounding "whiney". He can't read your mind, so you need to ask for what you want and then be able to work together to reach your goals.

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  • Julie
    Beginner October 2020
    Julie ·
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    I wasn't planning to buy him a ring. I guess I was going with the tradition that he buys the rings but that would be a good thing to talk to him about. I just don't have that kind of money but he does.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I know traditions and customs are different everywhere, but it's really common for a woman to buy her future spouse's wedding ring (she will be giving it to him on the wedding day after all) or for couples to buy the rings together. There are also rings available for any budget.

    But traditions and customs don't really matter as much as clearly communicating what each partner wants and needs. Making assumptions without talking about them doesn't really serve anyone.

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  • F
    Beginner July 2023
    Forever ·
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    You can gently inquire about the ring with your boyfriend without putting him under any pressure. Suggest inexpensive alternatives, such as Forever Moissanitemoissanite rings, which offer stunning quality at a fraction of the cost of traditional diamonds.

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