Patricia
Beginner May 2020

Wedding Postponed, No Date, Trying for a Baby, 37 yo

Patricia, on March 30, 2021 at 6:44 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 12
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Hi all,

I, like many brides out there, had to reschedule/postpone my wedding due to COVID. We have no date yet - we were talking about May 21, 2022 -- BUT because my partner an I approaching 40, our priorities have shifted towards having a baby. We have been trying for over a year and had 3 miscarriages, been working with a fertility clinic and found the cause. Now we are gearing up to try again. I know it's going to work out! This will put our baby due date (fingers crossed) in early Jan. I just had my wedding dress cleaned an preserved so we can have the wedding any time really, as long as the dress still fits LOL

It's funny how COVID really changed our view on what's important. Honestly, i would forgo the whole wedding had we not already paid for half! No, seriously I want the wedding but having concerns that I will be too busy with motherhood and look like a fool in my ballgown at age 40 (I'm sure women who have got married at 40 are chuckling and will tell me it is ok, and I'm being silly.) I would love to hear from you ladies! I'm overthinking, I know!

What do you ladies think - have the baby and then a wedding 4-5 months later in May 2022? Have the baby and then another and just wait until some other day presents itself?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on April 8, 2021 at 3:34 PM
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    For all you know the good Lord might bless you with two kiddos at the same time lol!
    I’d say get pregnant as soon as possible and I have the wedding right after.
    How awesome would it be to not only I have a new baby but also have a wedding! People will be that much more excited for you and it will be that much more of a big celebration! I certainly wouldn’t suggest holding off on children just for a wedding though.
    • Reply
  • Janessa
    Dedicated November 2022
    Janessa ·
    • Flag
    I can see how especially for a woman timing is so important. I too have had to push back a wedding and its been a 2 year engagement already. I have thought about kids recently and let me tell you its exhausting, I say do whatever you feel youll be most content with Ive seen women being pregnant at their weddings, or if you wanna wait for the post baby bod, your reasons are all valid. But approaching your age a marriage can happen anytime, a baby as you have expressed really does take in so many biological factors.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    Once you are cradling your newborn in your arms and inhale that wonderful ‘new baby’ smell you will completely forget about your concerns re the wedding dress and everything else and you will be submerged in so much bliss, you’ll know you made the right decision!

    I myself haven’t had children yet but it took 7 years of trying to conceive before my mother fell pregnant with me due to fertility issues. It can be a brutal journey (from what I have been told) but the end result will be worth it. Good luck and all the very best 😊

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I'm your age, and I know the heartache of a miscarriage.

    Also, I'm 14 weeks pregnant, now, and I can tell you that the first trimester had me COMPLETELY wiped. I mean, I was constantly nauseated, couldn't stay awake, and couldn't possibly have contemplated trying to plan for a baby AND a wedding.

    I'd focus on the baby, now, and, if you feel like it, gather ideas and potential vendors for a wedding... but I certainly wouldn't try to have a wedding with an infant. Not unless you have a TON of help.

    All my friends who have infants are just too wiped out to do anything but deal with the baby and their jobs.

    • Reply
  • Jade
    Beginner August 2023
    Jade ·
    • Flag

    I like to believe that you will never be too old to put on a ballgown. You could be an 80 year old bride and still be incredibly beautiful in that fancy dress. I'm probably not the age range your looking for advice from, but I think you'll know after that first baby. Once you have your child I think you'll be able to see if your wedding is something you want soon after the baby or if you want to try for another before you tie the knot

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  • Patricia
    Beginner May 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Yes! I completely agree. The priority is definitely on the baby. I just wish I hadn’t planned half of this wedding already. Part of me just wants to cancel but the other part really really wants to wear a dress and kiss my man in front of everyone. It’s a tough call but I think I’ll just know as I go ---- I wrote this post I was feeling a little anxious.

    • Reply
  • Patricia
    Beginner May 2020
    Patricia ·
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    You are so sweet! I know it’s funny when I was in my 20s and I watched Sex and the City...and when Carrie Bradshaw getting was married at 40 I wasn’t thinking of it as empowering at the time. Instead I vowed to never be in that position LOL it’s crazy how time flies. I definitely don’t feel old and I’m blessed to still look pretty young. I was supposed to be a 36-year-old bride which I thought was perfect and now 40 is on the horizon and I guess I have to just embrace it :-)

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  • Patricia
    Beginner May 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Congratulations! And thank you for your support. I definitely think that I will be waiting. But there is one good thing ---- the wedding is technically already planned. All of my vendors are still on board for my canceled COVID wedding. So it’s just a matter of setting the date!

    • Reply
  • Patricia
    Beginner May 2020
    Patricia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Great reminder. Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Patricia
    Beginner May 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Yes, totally agree. Priority #1 is baby. I'm just feeling nervous because I don't want to look "old" in my wedding photos.

    • Reply
  • Janessa
    Dedicated November 2022
    Janessa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    What about having a wedding while pregnant early on while you aren’t showing but you’re glowing ?
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Savvy September 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties in trying to conceive! I have not had experiences like yours, but I myself am anticipating severe difficulties conceiving and maintaining a pregnancy. I get a period every month, but my cycle lengths vary quite a bit (Anywhere from 21 to 26 days) and naturally I googled it. Oops. I also have frequent bouts of breakthrough spotting. There are several hormonal issues it could be and despite having a few tests done with my OB, we have found nothing out of the ordinary. I've just assumed I'm going to have an awful time conceiving and staying pregnant.

    That said, I think you should do whatever feels right for you and your partner. Good luck!

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