Wedding postponed again!

Was it a Catholic wedding? I feel like my answer would depend on if it was supposed to be a Catholic ceremony, which I don't think you can have if you elope beforehand.

View Quoted Comment Yes it was supposed to be a catholic wedding

View Quoted Comment You won’t be able to have a Catholic wedding ceremony if you elope. Is it possible they would allow a small (10 person) ceremony and then do a vow renewal at a later date for a larger group? “Once the pandemic is over” is surprising because it could be years and I’m surprised the Church is doing a full stop. Is it your diocese or your church specifically?

View Quoted Comment

I'm so sorry they cancelled on you! But yeah, that would be my only advice, that if having a Catholic ceremony was non-negotiable, then you might have to wait because I know most churches wouldn't let you have one later on if you were already married

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea!

View Quoted Comment I hope they are willing to do it! My wedding was originally in April and my church offered that, but we turned it down because our area was still hard hit and the 10 person limit would have meant we could pick either some of our siblings, some of our grandparents, or completely exclude both and we weren't interested in that.

In response to your question, I would arrange to have a ceremony elsewhere. You mentioned not wanting to postpone again, so I would skip the Catholic wedding ceremony since having your wedding at the church isn’t an option.

View Quoted Comment Just wondering.... Does the Catholic Church not do vow renewals overall? Or is it simply if a couple initially elopes?

View Quoted Comment That’s honestly what we’re thinking of doing

View Quoted Comment My brother got married outside of the catholic church because his fiance was not catholic. She later joined the catholic church then in order to have their children baptized in the catholic church they made them go through another “rite of marriage” ceremony in the church. I would think if you got married outside of the church when you eloped they would be more than hapy to do another ceremony in the church to make it “legitimate” in their eyes.

I'm so sorry Miriam! That's really tough news to handle!

Like everyone has said, the next steps are really up to you and your fiancé(e)'s priorities! If top priority is a catholic service I'd ask if you can do a super small or family-only ceremony and then go ahead with your reception plans (or postpone them until it's safer to party). If getting married in the catholic church is not a top priority for the two of you then I'd start looking for an available officiant and ceremony space!

I am legally married and will be getting married in a Catholic Church after the pandemic is over. Check with your parish and you Archdiocese. I am part of the NY archdiocese and can get married in a Catholic Church. If you have a civil ceremony before hand the Catholic Church dos not recognize you as married unless and until you are married by a priest on a Catholic ceremony. I’m no sure where the commenters above are getting their information from.

View Quoted Comment Not sure if your comment is directed at me but I got my information from my church/the person set to do our ceremony. If we did a civil ceremony beforehand they said they would be unable to do a wedding in the Catholic Church after. It varies dioceses to dioceses and likely priest to priest, they have final say. I have a friend whose grandmother couldn’t have a funeral mass because her wishes were to be cremated like her late husband and the priest at the church didn’t believe in funerals for cremations.

View Quoted Comment Hi Lauren,


I see in that case it looks like if you shop around for another church you may be able to do both. We aren’t tied down to a parish and have found multiple priests at different churches willing to work with us. It’s very common in a big city like NY. Are you open to shopping around or is getting married in that particular parish a must? The answer to that question will help you make an informed decision. Hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment We moved our date from April to August so it’s ending up only being a few extra months. We’re fine having a small reception since we know realistically we couldn’t have the one we planned until 2022 or 2023 and we weren’t interested in waiting.

View Quoted Comment Oh good, happy it worked out for you! Also, I thought I was responding to Miriam. Hope she can gather from our conversations she has a few options and it ultimately depends on what she prefers. Anything is possible once you find the venue that works for you and your wants. Best of luck to you both. We all get to be with the love of our lives at the end of the day. In other words, we all win !