Wedding planning

This can be frustrating when you expected more involvement. If they're not able/willing to help you how you need it, just expect to be doing more yourself. See if you have other family/friends who can be involved instead.

And for anything they absolutely have to do ahead of time (i.e. buy the dress), always have a deadline at least 2 weeks before the actual deadline. That way, when you do need to start getting on them, you still have time.

I have 2 months before my wedding date. She has now told me she refuses to do dry runs for her make up and her hair because she doesn’t want to pay for it because she sees it as a waste of her time. She has also told me that she doesn’t want to help plan my bachelorette party she just wants to know when and where. We planned on doing things after she graduated college and she graduated last month and now it’s something else. I am at a loss of words with her and I have now been having a miserable time planning my wedding when this is supposed to be a happy time. I don’t know what to do anymore.

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She's not making you plan your own bachelorette party is she? That's hers and the bridal party's job. I'd have a conversation with her about why she's so flippant about everything. The job as the MOH is supposed to help you relieve some of the stressors of wedding planning and she's only adding to it, especially with your wedding approaching. I don't know if I would demote her so close to the wedding but I would definitely see if there's someone else you can reach out to for help if she's still being difficult!

So I would have to side with her on the makeup and hair. Bridesmaids usually don't get hair or make up trials. As far as the bachelorette party, that's trickier. Technically, your bridal party doesn't owe you any extra parties. However, you can see if anyone else in the bridal party would help her plan. You shouldn't plan your own party.

View Quoted Comment I agree with her that hair/makeup trials are waste of time & money for a BP member 😆
For the rest, is it possible that money is an issue for her (planning bachelorette, paying for makeup etc)? Sometimes people feel uncomfortable saying they can’t afford something, so they find other excuses or procrastinate.
Many brides don’t expect any help from BP besides getting an outfit & showing up. So maybe she is not clear on your expectations? I’d have a direct conversation with her about what you would like her to help with & when. Ultimately, it will be up to her if she’s willing or not.
MOH is supposed to be someone who is super close to you, so I’d assume you two know each other very well to be able to work things out.

That’s just it she has the money. And the make trial is free because we’re doing it at a Merle Norman’s. The actual day yes we have to pay but she’s not having to buy new make up or anything it’s to make it easier on the girls who are doing our make up. But it’s FREE.

View Quoted Comment Yep pretty much I have to plan my own party because she doesn’t want to. She wants to just show up and drink. That’s what hurts.

It’s only her. She’s my only bridal party member. And it’s not like I was expecting something big. I just wanted a group of us to go out and have a drink and relax before the big day. But it just has felt for the past year I’m pulling teeth and hair to get her to even come over to just even get her dress altered.

I promised her that I wouldn’t ask anything from her that was out of her control. And everything that I’ve asked has had to do with her dress and her shoes hair and make up. I haven’t asked for her to throw me a party it just bums me out that she won’t even help me with it. That’s all I’m saying it’s me needing help from my maid of honor that I’m not getting. Because she won’t make the time for just an hour so my mom and pin her dress to alter it for her.

Unfortunately, the only actual requirement of a bridal party member is that they buy a dress and show up. Bridal showers and bachelorettes are extra. If she doesn't want to throw you one, it is considered bad form to plan your own. Either someone else (doesn't have to be a bridal party member) throws it for you or you don't get one.

I don’t care if I have to throw it or one of my other friends. It’s more of she won’t even come find the time to have her dress taken in.

I care more about her dress being done and finding shoes to put on her feet more than anything else. But it’s always an excuse of why she can’t.

Yes that sums up my bridal party. Well after I talked to them about how they seem so MIA they stepped it up but I tried to be understanding about how I know everyone has a lot going on in their own lives.
However i am not asking for immediate responsiveness or to be on hand and foot. I'm just simply asking hey can you take like not 7 days to respond to me? Aha.
My bridal party are really unorganized in general and so I was thinking gosh how're they going to get the shower and bachelorette in order? Well they did and although it had hiccups it in the end, came out nicely. So have faith things will come out well in the end.

Honestly I’m not expecting much from my bridal party. My sister loves projects and she is my MOH so I’m fully prepared for all her help. My two cousins I don’t get to see so much but I know they will jump on in once we get closer. My other bridesmaid however, I know won’t be much of a help and if she does she will be a control freak. My FSIL just got married and she is on the planning though, so she’s on the money lol. You really can’t expect anyone to care about your wedding as much as you and your fiancé. It’s unfortunate, but I’m sure as your date gets closer they will be jumping up to help!

I have a girl whose OVER barring about planning..... honestly I’m over it.

My MOH and bridesmaids have zero to do with planning, in my opinion their only planning should be bridal shower or bachelorette if they opt to do either. My mom planned my entire shower, and my MOH planned most my bachelorette. What planning are they supposed to do besides ordering a dress & travel plans?

I’d feel hurt too that the one person in my bridal party didn’t want to host a shower/party for me, or at least take me out for a celebration drink. 😞

That aside, I also think a hair/makeup trial for an MOH is a waste. Let her wear any shoes she wants. And as long as she has her dress, it’s up to her when she wants to (or if) get it altered. Let go of focusing on her look, and focus on other aspects of your wedding. You’ll both appreciate it. 😊