So, my MOH is my sister, who lives across the country from me and works hours that make it hard for us to talk. My sister in law is a BM and is NOT into planning/shopping at all, one friend who works crazy hours and opposite of my schedule, and my 13 yr old niece... I am not very social and don't have many friends...
So needless to say, no bridal shower. No bachelorette party. Wedding dress shopping consists of me and my mother... I obviously knew when I asked these ladies to be part of my day that it would be like this. Nobody can change who they are, the hours they work, or where they live - especially not for someone else's wedding. But I just have to admit, I am kind of bummed by having to do all the planning without getting anyone who is excited about it with me... Anyone else in a similar situation?
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My family is "redneck" and this will be the first "real" wedding (at a venue, white dress, etc). So nobody is really concerned with planning/ they think I am doing too much and that none of it really matters except the I do part... I've ALWAYS dreamed of having a big wedding, and so they are no help at all with any of it.
I feel you. I am paying for my wedding and don't expect anyone to assist w/ anything. I am also the first of the grand daughters to have a wedding. I wanted my magical day to and we are doing just that. Im sorry they aren't any help. It can be stressful yes, do a little at a time.
I know how you feel. I went dress shopping alone and didn't have a bridal party. We did choose my cousin and his dad to be our honorary MOH (in a different state) and BM (local) but only as a way to let them know how important they are to us. They had no roles, duties, special attire etc. My "MOH" did plan a couples shower for us but we never asked for one or expected it. We both have siblings but they are always doing their own thing so it was just easier for us to just leave everyone out of it so there were no expectations. I will say that no one will be as excited for your wedding as you will and realistically no one else should be planning your wedding but you. Movies, magazines, tv and social media make weddings seem like they're this big group affair with lots of parties, gatherings and crafting sessions but they really aren't. You have every right to feel bummed out as we all want to have those special moments but just keep focused on your big day and know that everyone that is special to you will be there supporting you.
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This is true. I think it is just frustrating because I do genuinely get excited for other people's happiness and go out of my way to be supportive and attentive when someone needs it. Which I know is also just part of who I am, not who they are which is totally fine. I love each of them exactly as they are, it is just a buzz kill during this stage.
Mrs. S ·
I live across the country and don’t have friends out here. I planned by myself, occasionally texting my moh. My husband wasn’t good at participating. So that’s why I spent all my time on here lol
Sure am! I recently graduated from college (back in May), moved to a place where I know no one, and started a new job. I live in Texas, my sister/Matron of honor lives in India, ones bridesmaid lives in Ireland, my other MOH is 2 hours away, and then I have multiple bridesmaids scattered around Texas (4 hours, 3 hours, 3 hours, and 5 hours). My parents also live 5 hours away. I am fortunate enough that they have already planned a bach party and bridal shower for me but we definitely haven't planned anything together. I've done my thing and they've done theirs.
I know how you feel, it sucks. But also remember that like tv shows and movies give an unrealistic expectation as to how often the bride’s friends are around helping with wedding stuff. Just be glad you have a mom who is around to help, and a fiancé!
I completely understand. I'm at a similar place too. My mom lives 3.5 hrs away from me, and my side of the family lives in Venezuela. My FMIL who is like a 2nd mother to me went dress shopping with me and gifted me my wedding dress. My FH's sister (who's 19) is my only BM and my best friend (who lives in New Mexico) is my MOH. I won't have a bridal shower, or bachelorette party or friends to share my excitement with. For the past couple of days I keep telling myself that there's a fine line between me wanting to talk and talk about our wedding and understanding that people have their own lives and don't necessarily want to hear me talk/text about my plans lol.
At least you have all of us here who understand and can share your excitement
I haven't officially picked bridesmaids, but the people I'm considering are all over the country and I'm not getting married in the city I live in. Might be my planning style (I'm a bit of a control freak lol) but I honestly don't want to expect much of my bridesmaids outside of input on the dress they're going to wear and showing up. I don't care about showers. I know you're not supposed to plan your own bachelorette, but I at least want input on where and when. I'm mostly using it as an excuse to visit a new place haha. I have a January wedding, so I'll probably do the party as early as August to avoid making people travel more than they'd already have planned around holidays. I'll probably invite any interested female friend, not just bridal party. As far as general wedding planning, the wedding day is for my fiance and I, so I want most of the decisions to be ours, maybe going to our moms for input since they're contributing. I'm not bothered at all by not having a ton of help.
Definitely! My mom has dementia, my sister lives 450 miles away, and because my FH is a high introvert, we kept the bridal party small so that he didn’t feel bad about having fewer friends to ask. Thus we have a bunch of kids and teens involved. This is also my second wedding. My first wedding, my sister lived overseas and my mom was 1000 miles away. No bachelorette, no showers, nothing either time from my family and friends. I wish it were different.
Yup! My MOH lives 6 hours away and is busy with two kiddos. My other two bridesmaids are my sisters who live 16 hours away from me. I bought my dress off Etsy. It's a bit lonely, but my friends, family and colleagues are generally excited when we chat by text, phone, or in-person about the planning. I just try and keep thinking about the big day--what all the planning is for and then get super excited that all of this is really for a great end--to marry my best friend.
PS - if you want to "discussion board" plan, I'm totally here to cheer you on!