Wedding planning - tension with fiance?

Yeah Lindsey don't be surprised if he doesn't do that with almost everything. My FH only sees numbers too. Like babe thats how much? Are you crazy? You want to do what? Ha ha he is Mr. tight wad and I am Mrs. Shut up I know what the heck I am doing shhhh! We been together 12 years and we have always acted that away and we are perfectly fine with finances and our 3 children and family. I am more flexible with this day because its only ONCE for me and I just want it to be magical.

My fiance sounds a lot like yours... he LOVES to balance his checkbook the old fashioned way, still pays bills by snail mail, very financially responsible (which I am grateful for!) He also had a hard time spending money on things he considered frivolous. For example, I want a darn photo booth & he thinks it's an unnecessary expenditure so we went back & forth a bit on that but I am being cost conservative on a lot of things so I feel as though it is ok to splurge a little here & there. And I don't think your marriage is doomed if anything you are learning great negotiation & communication skills

I had the same problem when I got married years ago. My husband is very conservative with money! In the end there were several things I wish we'd done differently, knowing that now 10 years later it wouldn't really make a difference financially but it would make a difference in the memories. Not that you should necessarily spend everything you can for the sake of memories, but if you both really loved the venue that costs a bit more, that will probably be the right decision for the long term. Did you both sit down and write out your priorities for budget?

Have an open ended conversation with him about whether he TRULY thinks you should change venues or not, bottom line, all things considered. Spending so much on one day is stressful to calculating spenders, but in most smart decisions it's actually an investment rather than just an *expense*.

Also, are there areas where you could spend less in order to have the wedding at the place you want?

Molly

SevenDresses.com

I am 90 days out from my wedding and my fiancé springs on me that we do not need to have it right know. The venue has been paid for deposits has been made and told me he will not show up. I understand his desire for our financial future but I want my day. Our daughter is excited about I cant not break her heart because daddy is being selfish. I need help or we are not going to make it.

I am experiencing a similar situation. This is both of our second weddings. I waited 17 years to find the right person and I felt very strongly that I wanted to at least have a nice wedding. Nothing outrageous or huge, but simple and elegant. I have been doing all of the wedding planning and so far have used my own money for the expenses. Now we have four months until the wedding day and it’s coming down to the wire. We set a budget of $8000 to $10,000. We are having the venue at my family’s ranch and so that saved a lot of money. But just party rental and food and alcohol are a huge chunk of money. And all of the little things added together brings us to $12,000. Now he is saying he wishes he had never agreed to a formal wedding and is implying I’m not financially responsible. My income is very close to what he makes and I have managed to put both of my kids through college, and he is the one who has debt. I love the man and we will get through this but I am struggling right now to get him on board and to stop him from playing the blame game. He is taking all of the joy out of what is supposed to be a very exciting and happy time.

My husband was the same way & so if I wanted something I found the best deal for it, pushed to get everything I wanted and negotiated my tail off with the venue. But my wedding band was over budget & once he saw it on me day of, he said he was glad we spent the money because it’s beautiful. Honestly the big purchases we ended up both being happy about because everything turned out the way we wanted it!


It’ll get better & he will most likely enjoy himself at his wedding and honeymoon! It’s definitely taught me how to be frugal and I save money which is cool, but on our honeymoon we came back with tons of things and we actually had to buy another suitcase and it was really sweet how cool he was about all that and was on board!