I guess I am just wanting to vent somewhere. I feel like planning the wedding is bringing out the worst in me at the moment. I haven't turned into a bridezilla but I am so damn moody. I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself to have things look perfect. I just keep thinking, "well, you only get 1 opportunity to have your first wedding!" lol. I feel depressed as it is because I don't have a very healthy family who is ever there for me or supports me. They also live far away so they're not going to come. My dad isn't in my life....so will literally have no family there. My friends also live far away and COVID struck before I could form a new social circle. Planning the wedding is just making me realize how few people I have in my life. I should be focused on that fact I have a good relationship and we are going to spend our life together...but I can't help but wanna cry most of the time. I thought to myself that if I couldn't have the typical family event or have people there (my fiances parents will be there)....then I'd at least do it up with pretty decorations and make the day feel special. I feel like I'm the only one who is excited for it though! I know my fiance wants to marry me, but he's just not into the planning thing and he's clueless about decorations etc. He gives input when asked, but I feel like alone in this. It feels almost lame to be planning a wedding just for us. I thought maybe we could make it feel exciting by going somewhere cool to elope but our pet needs meds and wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him alone.
I feel like a little brat at the moment!!!! but I keep feeing sad. I dunno. I just always had this special image in my mind and so far it feels like it's going to be a disappointment. My fiance doesn't suggest anything or think of ways to make the day feel special. I feel like he's just gonna show up.
I feel like canceling it and just running off into the woods.
Thank you for letting me vent LOOLLL do I need an attitude adjustment?
