wedding planning Shouldn't be stressful

Elope. It is much less stressful lol. I totally get it and sadly when it comes to life events people make it about them and I am so sorry. I say at this point let the mothers wear what they want, do not determine that and then I would leave wedding planning talk out when near them because if all they are doing is giving negative feedback then say nothing and if they ask why you are not saying nothing then just say because every time you do they have something negative to say. In fact, maybe limit communication until the day of. You are not the only bride going through this and I am so sorry that some people make this about themselves as it is not right. I do pray things get better and send positive vibes your way.

Elope! Weddings are meant to be joyful and if people are going to try and poison that with their negativity, they don't need to be involved.

My parents are both still very close to my ex-husband and spend time with him (without telling me) and have made very little effort with my new relationship/getting to know my fiancé. I feel disrespected by it, and won't be having a regular wedding to appease people who don't support us.

It has been really great to just make plans based on what will work best for us.

Wedding planning is stressful for a lot of people, which I never knew til I started planning myself and talking to others who were engaged. I thought how hard can it be to pick out flowers, but it actually can bring out the worst in the people closest to you which is draining. If you want to elope go for it. I kept on with my plans and people calmed down and everything turned out fine. The only thing I would say based on your post is that I think your parents should be able to wear what they want. But it’s not ok for them to be jerks to you or spoil your happiness or blame you for stuff. Good luck!

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LOL funny we both said elope. I mean I would love a small wedding but honestly having both parents deceased (and factoring the cost of weddings these days which like my friend said yesterday you're paying for others satisfaction) I have been wanting to elope for awhile. I only regret FH not wanting to do it abroad lol.

I’d say Elope. Especially if you want people to wear things they don’t feel comfortable enough in, its honestly not worth the stress. Its your wedding day and sometimes doing what makes you happy means eloping because others sometimes forget whose wedding it is and sometimes as brides we want things that also might not be possible/feasible/acceptable to others. In my case I have my niece requesting me to play the chicken dance and all of these cheesy songs that I don’t wanna play my wedding. She’s a kid so I’m probably gonna have to suck it up but still it’s just another thing that sometimes with brides feel like we have no control over. My suggestion for a panic attack would be to take a whole lemon and bite into it! The bitter sour taste will immediately kick you out of a panic attack. Works for me almost every time. It takes a minute but you do fully come down

View Quoted Comment Girl! My parents stop and see my ex AT HIS HOUSE, and behind my back! And just as you said, make 0 effort to get to know my FH!. We've been together for over 2 years and they're still doing this when we're 3 months out from our wedding. They treat me so so so terrible because I decided to stay and work on our relationship after he messed up and I messed up one time and we still continue to choose eachother over giving up. But that's LOVE

Sorry to hear. Wedding planning for sure can get overwhelming so make sure to take breaks from it here and there to practice self care and remember that wedding planning doesn’t encompass your life even if at the moment it is

View Quoted Comment Yeah, we decided on a "relaxing" look for the fathers, which we THOUGHT everyone would agree with, but now his mom is saying (pretty much) that it's unacceptable for her husband to wear that.... SHE isnt okay with him wearing Jean's and boots, but that's what their son wanted! 🤦🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Thank you beautiful! I'm try so hard to stay positive.

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That is SO true about paying to entertain people. A lot of guests would just criticize your decor, etc. anyway. A lot of people I know don't even like being invited to weddings!

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I'm sorry you relate. Lol that's ridiculous. I've been divorced now for almost 5 years and nothing has changed.

It's incredibly offensive and hurtful, especially because who I'm with now treats me so well and I was completely miserable in my last marriage. Both of my parents were previously married so I would have assumed they'd be more understanding.

For my own mental peace, I've put up a wall and only communicate with them on occasion. It's unfortunate, but less hurtful than the constant reminders that they aren't supportive. At the end of the day, you just have to focus on your well being.

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No I get it and it is worse when it comes from people that should be your biggest supporters. I say keep your distance and only include people that can be positive. I have an acquaintance who lately when I ask her opinion on something wedding related she will find something negative. I asked her how she liked my new dress and everyone I asked said positive things and she replies well it seems a bit long. So I have now decided no more wedding talk with her. I am not going to have someone bring me down.

I'm sorry you are going through this. But I understand why your MIL might not want to wear what you have picked. Parents should be allowed to pick what they wear as they are not a part of the bridal party. I would let her wear what she wants and is comfortable in as long as it matches the formality of your wedding. If your future in-laws don't have anything supportive to say then don't talk to them about the wedding. Lean on those that are supportive, but don't let unsupportive take away from what you envision for your wedding.

I am so sorry your going through so much stress, but maybe having you mother in law choose what she wants to wear to your wedding might settle things down, since they aren't going to be apart of the bridal party. Though she really shouldn't be giving you such a hard time about it.

My family is like this. They were so excited for my wedding that they wanted everything to be "perfect" in their definition and not mine. I'm thankfully glad covid cancelled my wedding because I can do it my way now. I had a similar thing where my dad was insisting on wearing a tux when my groom and his groomsmen were just wearing dress shirts and slacks. To be honest by March every little detail was like that. Cake, flowers, caterer, table cloths, chairs, my nails, my hair, everything. It was overwhelming. Now I get to just be like we're having a picnic. Show up or don't I don't care. I felt like I couldn't elope because I'm the baby of five kids and nobody else did. Now I have the excuse to do it.

I’m sorry to hear about your stress. But pick your battles. What your future FIL wears isn’t as important in the grand scheme of things. I know it’s not exactly what you want but the wedding is about you and your fiancé.

Wedding planning has been a nightmare for me, now I’m wishing we eloped. It’s worse because of Covid but I seriously would have rather eloped than deal with all this craziness. The stress and anxiety has been awful.

Wedding planning is stressful! There’s a lot of decisions to make, things to organise and most of all people to communicate and deal with. I’m sorry you feel like your parents are supportive of you and your fiancé right now, that’s tough. On some of the smaller things like parents outfits I would start letting that go. Usually parents would pick their own outfits and you could suggest a color. Id leave them to it and focus that energy somewhere else. Once you get even closer to your date you’ll see that’s it’s easier to just pick your battles. There’s just not enough time and energy to get everything perfect, especially when you’re dealing with family that doesn’t want to compromise.