Gabby
Devoted October 2021

Wedding Planning Shame

Gabby, on January 5, 2021 at 7:06 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 11
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Is anyone just getting lots of backlash and people trying to shame you for planning a wedding? I'm hopeful that we'll be able to have a 50 person wedding in late October, but people are just ruthless. Is anyone else going through this? It's mostly people on social media. Like we very much believe in science and being cautious but I think at almost 2 years of dealing with the pandemic (by the time the wedding happens) things will be much better. It's just hurtful for me to be called selfish when I'm being cautious but I've seen people have 200 plus person weddings since the pandemic started.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Yvonne, on January 5, 2021 at 5:51 PM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    No, ma'am. Downsized my wedding to less than 10 guests.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I think that there are two things at play - people who live extremely online are really dogmatic about whatever they believe in, and will often see the world in “good/bad” terms.
    And there will also always be a bit of, for lack of a better way to put it, anti-celebration mentality with people about weddings. If you mention a wedding online in a non-wedding forum, people start falling all over themselves to show how frugal and no nonsense their wedding was. “We spent $1.84 on our wedding - the Taco Bell drive through cashier married us on Taco Tuesday and gave us free hot sauce too!” that sort of thing.

    People are going to be party poopers. Don’t listen to them!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Thats unfortunate about the backlash you received. I recommend you not share any wedding planning info with anyone on social media. You are not selfish. It is people's and vendors' CHOICE to attend/service your wedding. They have the power to CHOOSE to not attend or not service.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    Like the poster above said, just stop sharing wedding related things online, and with “friends and family” who are just gonna be negative.. you don’t need this in your life.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the previous comments. I would stop sharing any info about your wedding on social media (or limit the audience on your wedding-related posts to only those who you are planning to invite to the wedding), and also don't talk about the wedding with anyone else who is giving you negative opinions.
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Samantha, I think your response is spot-on...and also hilarious!! And Gabby, you're doing everything right. Keep planning - I'm also hopeful that October will be much better, and it sounds like your mindset and decision-making processes are fact-based, so you are set! I agree with the others - try to block out negativity from people who have a little too much "keyboard courage" to say really rude things that they probably wouldn't have the guts to say to your face.

    • Reply
  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
    • Flag

    My wedding is next month and I haven't made any changes to my guestlist in the slightest. While I haven't met a lot of backlash by people online because I don't talk about my wedding in social media to avoid any drama whatsoever. I've received a lot of it from my parents to the point that I don't even speak to them anymore.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Wasn't aware this was a thing honestly. There are trolls online but they generally stick to their niche interests.


    Social media tends to be the online version of the school playground where some people don't want to be nice. Block them and don't interact.
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    Every word of this is the truest thing I've seen on the internet in a while. Completely agree and couldn't have put it better than you did here.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    It is nuts how there are people that live their entire lives online and can’t see nuance in life. I’m guilty as well at times, I have to remind myself that out here is what matters (at least to me.)
    • Reply
  • Y
    Dedicated January 2021
    Yvonne ·
    • Flag

    People are always going to have an opinion and be offended no matter what you do, but since you are in control of what ppl know about your wedding, I'd keep wedding planning details private and vague and that you're trying to keep things safe as much as you can and give examples. I don't think you're being selfish; you have probably been dreaming about your wedding for a while and it is sad to have to change your plans too.

    (I did de-activate my instagram about a month after I got engaged, which was the same time the pandemic started, and barely anyone asked me about what my wedding plans were, which was a relief for me bc tbh i didn't know what we were gonna do haha.)

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