Hi, Everyone -
I just need to vent, I wish wedding planning wouldn't be so stressful. Up to a few days ago, my fiancé and I had no issues and the wedding planning was smooth sailing. Unfortunately, things took a major nosedive.
To sum it up... there is more drama with my future MIL. It began when she asked me to call her and she mentioned asking my fiancé's Dad if he would like to contribute to the cost of the rehearsal dinner (something she had offered to pay for, plan, etc. which we are fine with). My fiancé's parents divorced when he was very young and his Mom and Dad don't really communicate unless necessary and they have both moved on and remarried.
To provide some background, my fiancé's Dad is on a fixed income and doesn't always have a lot of spare money to spend. When my fiancé's sister got married a few years ago, it caused a major riff between him and his Mom because she was once again insisting that his Dad try and help pay for a lot of the wedding plans at at the time, his Dad didn't have the money. She kept pushing and being a bully about it and it ultimately caused my fiance and his Mom to not speak for a while. He thought that the way she handled things with his Dad was uncalled for. There is a lot more history between my fiancé and his Mom that I've been told about, so their relationship has always been up and down and he likes to keep her at a distance when it comes to personal things.
When I told my fiancé that his Mom contacted me to ask about his Dad contributing to the rehearsal dinner cost, he came unglued. Mostly because he felt like she should have come and asked him about it directly rather than go through me when she knows it's a touchy subject and it's caused some drama between them in the past with his sister's wedding, etc. I agree that she should have asked her son rather than me since it's his side of the family and he would know how to handle that topic best. My fiancé called his Mom and they got into an argument since he was so angry.
A few days passed by and I decided to reach out to her and see how she's doing. Her and I talked more about it and I told her that I think her offering to pay for the rehearsal dinner was a nice gesture, especially since it's common for the Groom's side to handle that piece. As her and I were discussing it, we started to talk about my fiancé and the argument that took place. I told her that it likely had a lot of it stemmed from his past frustrations with his sister's wedding, etc. Then she dropped the bomb... she told me that she felt I had "set her up" because I told my fiancé about the conversation where she mentioned his Dad paying. I was flabbergasted and speechless. That was obviously not my intention but I think it's silly of her to think that I wouldn't mention it to my fiancé especially as this has to do with his Dad and our wedding involves us both. She tried to play it off as our conversation should have been a "secret" and between the two of us. I even told her during our conversation that I would run this all my fiancé as it would ultimately be his call. So of course, I told my fiancé what she said and he once again got upset and had to call her to address it again.
We have since calmed down and we all did apologize, but I do have to say that my dynamic with my future MIL will never be the same. She always said that I was the daughter she never had (her and my fiancé's sister do not have a relationship anymore) and I got the impression that we had a great relationship, but I am definitely not going to get as close to her anymore and don't plan on talking to her directly anymore unless it's a conversation that involves my fiancé as well. This whole thing has definitely caused some distress for me as well as my fiancé, we really did not want or need any stress especially when we are so far out from our wedding date.
Has anyone else dealt with any drama similar to this when planning their wedding? I know that weddings tend to bring out the worst in people as well as stress, but the fact that this is coming up now is ridiculous. I know things will continue to look up with time, but it is a major bummer for the two of us.
