Wedding party!

Tell her that you are having a small wedding party and you have to match the bridesmaids to the groomsmen?

I honestly wouldn’t bring it up unless she asks explicitly. At that point, you can say you wanted to keep the party small (which would only work if it’s true). I also would caution you on asking your party this far out. There are so many stories on here about brides falling out with party members or relationships changing because they asked too far in advance. I’d recommend asking 6-8 months out. There isn’t anything that they need to be doing 16 months out anyway.

I wouldn't go out of your way to tell her that she isn't a bridesmaid. If she asks, I would just tell her that you've already chosen your bridesmaids. I would advise against asking people to be in your wedding party until at least a year out though.

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Our party is 6 girls to 6 guys. I'm thinking of asking a new friend to be my 6th. I already feel ten times closer to her then the older friend. Besides one of my bridesmaid she is my longest friendship but like I said its been so back and forth I'm not close to her but I am also afraid she will see all these girls and know that we've been friends longer. But we are incorporating my fiance sister so that could be my reason too?

I'm not asking yet, I was just curious for some advice on it

View Quoted Comment You could use that you are incorporating your fiancés sister and so you need to keep it even. I asked my fiancé’s sister to be my maid of honor even though I haven’t known her as long as my other bridesmaids. It’s your choice and your wedding. I understand not wanting to ask someone you have an unstable relationship with.

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I would say you should not worry about her feelings. I have been friends with one friend longer than my MOH but I do not have as close of a relationship with her as my MOH. Plus it is not uncommon to not be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding just for length of time. I knew my friend for a few months from cross fit and we got along well and she asked me to be a bridesmaid because we hung out a lot. When it comes to any kind of wedding planning you may do something someone likes but who cares. If she was not asked to be a BM by the date of the wedding I am sure she knows she was not invited. She may not like but hopefully she will be mature.

I wouldn't tell her, I'd just let her figure it out when you don't ask her. Don't involve her in conversations about the wedding unless she really asks directly.

I would say if she asks you, to be honest and say that you're keeping it small. If she doesn't ask, no need to address it and put salt on the wound.

I agree with the above posters, I would not say anything until she does, and then politely break it to her.

I envisioned my best friend as being my MOH and told her for months prior to my engagement that she would be. I ended up deciding not to have her because I knew it would test our friendship and frankly I could sense that she and I would see very differently as to what her role would encompass. I gently broke it to her that we would only be having family in our bridal party as we'd since decided to have a smaller party, except here she was well aware that she'd be MOH so I had to say something!

Like others said, I wouldn’t tell her. I feel like that’s unnecessary. She’ll figure it once the wedding gets closer. If she flat out asks you, well a) that’s rude of her and b) then you can tell her no.

If you have not told her you want her in the wedding party before, then she has no reason to expect it. Lots of things affect that choice, it is not just, we have been friends a llong while. Say nothing. Don't bring up wedding stuff unless she asks, but if she is interested, share. She is still a friend, and presumably will be invited as a guest. Just not WP. People outside WP are not excluded from general wedding things. Friends not in WP may offer to give showers, or pair with 1 BP or family person to give one. Once she know others are in WP, if she wants to help with things, or do a shower, just as a friend, that is fine.

Don’t. Just do something cute like a bridesmaids brunch and once she misses the invite she’ll get the hint

I wouldn't say anything. Just let her figure it out when you don't ask her. I've had a few of these myself. They were fine and didn't confront me about it!

I wouldn't bring it up at all. She will figure it out and if she asks about it, just let her know that you had your BP chosen.

I don't think you owe it to anyone to explain why they haven't been chosen as a bridesmaid. Who each bride chooses to stand by them on their wedding day is entirely personal. As others have said, I wouldn't mention it unless she explicitly brings it up.