Wedding Party

My sister isn't in my wedding party. It's based on who you really want. It's not a written rule that they need to be in your party because they're family. Some don't do it either cause they don't want to or don't have a solid relationship. It's definitely normal though.

My sister is not in the wedding party. It didn’t make sense to me since she is not a person I look to for support or help. I love her but....ya know lol

I didn’t! My brother walked in our processional but he wasn’t a part of either of our wedding parties

View Quoted Comment I like that idea! How did you organize that? Did he just walk in during the processional before the wedding party?

View Quoted Comment Yeah! He walked in before the parents did

I didn’t have my sister or sister in laws.

My sister is my MOH. She has played a vital part in my life & I can always depend on her. However, I can totally see if your siblings didn’t have that much of an effect on you, why would they be in your wedding party. There’s no rule that siblings are required to be in your wedding party! Good luck!

Very much struggling with the same decision. My sister and I have never been very close, but I keep setting imaginary hurdles that if she were to meet I would include her (eg. reaching out to say she is sad/sorry that we had to postpone our wedding due to Covid). So far it has been a let down.

If the issue is that you aren’t very close, the. Including her is a nice gesture without much downside. Not including her may harm your relationship further.
However, If you are in the position where she is a risk to the day (eg a temper where she could ruin your dress or interrupt the ceremony, which is where I am) it may not be worth it.

View Quoted Comment Hi Kristen, a little more detail is that’s my situation too. My one sister and I aren’t close because of family drama. I keep holding out hope she’ll change but it was the time to make a the call on the wedding party. I made the decision to not include either of my sisters (even though I’m close with one because I don’t want more drama and I think she’d hold a grudge.) but it still doesn’t feel right to not include them even though if I were to put my one sister in the wedding party, her just being in the same room as me stresses me out. I wish you the best of luck deciding! It’s not easy but I was really surprised how supportive these posts are.

You absolutely don’t have to include sisters. You can just include friends! The bridal party should be those closest to you.
I am including my half sister because we talk all the time, but I’m not including my stepsister because we only speak on birthdays, holidays, or when we see each other in person at family gatherings (which is rare because she lives far away). I’m also not including my SILs or future SILs.
Again, pick only the people who are close to you, will support you, and who will make the day even more special by standing by your side.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response, glad to know I’m not alone in this position! It sounds like you made the decision using a very rational approach intended to limit hurt feelings, which is about the best possible outcome in this tough situation. Good luck!!

My sister is my maid of honor - as she is absolutely my best friend.

On the other hand - i am in situation with my future sister in laws who i ended up starting out in the wedding party and they have bowed out due to my fiance and his family just not getting along. so the BEST advice i can give you is do NOT feel obligate to have them. If you are worried at all about them being apart of your party - just don't. Save that for the people who matter most to you and WANT you to have the best day ever.

My sister was my maid of honor and it was a huge mistake. She is extremely self-centered and very difficult to speak with. I felt obligated to have her as my maid of honor. She made things so difficult. We have barely spoke since the wedding which was over a year ago.

I am not including my sister in my bridal party. The thought never even occurred to me until my mom asked me if I planned on asking her to be a bridesmaid. My sister and I have never really been close -- we are SUCH opposite people. We see each other once or twice a year and don't really talk on the phone on a regular basis unless one of us needs the other to do something or know something. If one of us needed something from the other, we would absolutely do what we could, but it's not like our lives are intertwined. I told my mother that all of my bridesmaids are women I am closer to than I am to my sister -- my FH's daughter, my DIL and my BFF (who is my MOH). I can't tell if the question my mother asked came from my sister talking to her or if it's something my mother thought of on her own. I suspect my sister said something to my mother because my mother knew who my bridal was almost from the time I set my date -- which was months ago. But meh...I'm not changing my mind out of some feeling of obligation.

So, my point in all of this is, it's YOUR wedding and you get to decide how that day looks and feels. Siblings are not automatic simply because they were born of the same bloodline. You do you, Boo Boo.

My sister isn't in my wedding party. For my situation, we haven't spoken in over a year and while I did send her an invitation to get my mother off my back about it, I doubt she would come. I agree with the first comment that it's really who you want, there's no rules about it.

My sisters are all in mine, even one who is significantly younger. I think it depends on your relationship with your sisters. I have a different relationship with each of my sisters, and I'm not as close to some. But at the end of the day, these are the people I have loved and supported and will love and support forever. We stuck together during really tough times, dried each other's tears, covered for each other to our parents, stuck up for each other at school. I may talk to some of my friends more, but the bond I have with my sisters cannot be replicated in any friend.


Also, I would advise against making the decision to include them based on "even sides". Even sides causes so many problems and is truly not necessary for beautiful photos or an organized ceremony

My sister and I are close but she isn’t in my wedding party. I also didn’t ask my FSIL to be in the wedding. You can absolutely choose the people you want.

I am close to my 4 sisters, and wanted to keep it that way . There are lots of things we always do together, and we can depend on each other for support, or help. But for my Bridal Party I wanted friends from different times and places. Also, big families, my mom, and my dad, both have 4 sisters ( as well as several brothers), and growing up the always cautioned us against having sisters, or Sisters in Law, or first cousins, except the occasional pairs who had always been each other's best friends. Because some are a little more dominating and some don't take obligations or time schedules seriously, while others are very compulsive, and petty jealousies and squabbles are the curse of many WP. Leave the sibling issues in their place, NOT in your weddings, was always family advice. As for SIL, since we only met 10 months before being engaged, and lived 4 hours drive from his family, I did not know them. But I think 6 of his sisters or brother's wives were raised on a different planet than me. Nothing in common.