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Dedicated January 2021

Wedding Party Lineup

Jenn, on August 3, 2020 at 9:32 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 12
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Hi!!


My fiancé has a sister and I have a brother who both happen to be awesomely gay. We decided we wanted our siblings standing on our side rather than the traditional women with women and men with men. So my brother will stand with my bridesmaids and his sister will stand with the groomsmen. We made the decision because I always imagined my brother standing with me, he has no business standing on my fiancé’s side, he’s my bestie not his and he felt the same way about his sister. However, we unfortunately, have some judgey people coming to our wedding. I’m concerned people are going to think my brother is on my side because he is gay and not because of the actual reason that HES MY BROTHER! I don’t plan on changing anything because this is how we want it but I’m afraid of losing my s*** if I hear anyone make a comment. So I am looking for advice on a nice way to respond to people who may make an incorrect comment.
Our lineup: Me: my cousin, my other cousin, my best friend, my sister in laws wife, my brother
Fiancé: his cousin, his other cousin, his best friend and his sister

12 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on August 7, 2020 at 2:05 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    You do you, girl! I had a bridesman too and it’s become quite common these days.
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I had a bride's man (my brother) and my husband had a groomswoman (her friend). Both of them are straight, but I know a lot of people tend to assume a guy or girl can't possibly be straight if they are standing on the "wrong" side which I think is stupid. There are no wrong sides which is why I put in quotes. If people have a problem with it, hopefully they won't say anything. No one said anything to us about it. If they thought it was weird or would have said something, I would have made it very clear that they were who we wanted in our wedding. On our wedding website, we explained how we knew each person. Our programs also had a brief thing that said how we knew each person so it was obvious why we chose who we did.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    How about F Them and their judginess. You do not have to answer to anyone but God. I think it is great how you two support them and I feel your justification is right. No one should dare make a negative comment to you on your wedding regardless of their closed mindedness. If they do, just say because it's your wedding, they're your siblings and this was a decision you two made because you wanted to. End of story and dance away and say bye Felicia at the same time lol.

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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Ignore the judgement and do what makes you happy. It's no one else's business.
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  • Signora
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Signora ·
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    I’m having a bridesman and a groomsmaid in our wedding next year! It’d your day so if people are judging they don’t need to come because you don’t want any negativity on your day 💜
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Having your brother on your side and his sister on his shouldn't make people judge because it has become very common for brides and grooms to have their line up like that. However people who would be judging will most likely judg no matter what you do. If they make judgmental comments I'd tell them it's your wedding and he's your brother end of story.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I think it’ll be pretty obvious that it’s because he’s your sibling. Especially because your husband’s sister is on his side.
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  • VIP August 2020
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    It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Although, it's easier to say that than to actually ignore judgmental relatives. Instead of calling my brother my man*/person of honor, I decided to make him my best man, because why shouldn't I be able to have one? If you do that, you're putting the weird gender thing on yourself so they're less likely to think he's on your side because he's gay, which might make the comments easier to handle. (No one will think it's weird that he is a best man, but they might find it weird that you have one.)

    *The masculine version of maid isn't man, so he would be what? my butler of honor? Also, I've been referring to the whole group as bridespeople as a way to avoid awkward terms that force you (or at least me) to think about how weird the titles and general concept of bridal party positions are.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I think that’s freaking awesome! I have a total of 3 on my side. My sister (MOH), my daughter (who’s gay) & a close friend. I’m not sure who’s going to be his groomsmen are going to be. Honestly, I haven’t thought of those judgy people since it’s so rare nowadays. I can’t concern myself with what others think or how they’re going to react. I’m so proud of my daughter! But you’re right- I would have to kick some serious butt if someone made snarky comments!
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  • J
    Dedicated January 2021
    Jenn ·
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    I chuckled a little at butler of honor lol that would be the literal translation I guess, that’s funny. I know the titles are annoying, I just want to get rid of it and sat these are all my favorite people!
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    That is awesome! I have a short fuse with that sort of BS too and it was one of the reasons we eloped. I was so caught up in the wedding bliss that I forgot about our playlist, and almost forgot to put on my jewelry! So worst case, if anyone talks s***, you will likely be completely unawareSmiley smile

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Maid stands for maiden, not maid as in worker, so man is correct. Not butler.

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