Wedding Party gifts

To not give them anything--yes, I think that would be in bad taste. If budget is the issue, write each of them a thoughtful card expressing how much their friendship means to you. Shouldn't cost you more than $1 per person for the cost of the cards.

A thank you card is fine, with a small gift. You are teaching your children by example here, so do not be a bad role model. You are spending on unnecessary things for them to look like what you want. And nothing that is a gift to them personally, not how it should be. Normally, not recent wedding fad, ties and pocket squares are worn to go with the jacket and shirt colors, never to match dresses. Or a plain white. Could you not buy pocket squares, and let guys wear what they usually would? Do you really think a 10 year old and a 16 year old need professional hair and makeup? In more than 25 years of being in weddings, I have never seen pro services of either for the children. To spend every penny on looks, and nothing on gratitude, seems wrong.

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I agree with Hanna. Not giving them anything is in bad taste, but a handwritten card thanking them for being part of your day is a nice gesture!

You should get a gift because you’re thanking them for taking the time to be there and to support you. I completely agree with Hanna that a really nice handwritten card is sufficient! You could also add a nice a picture of you and the person!

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Yikes, didn't realize I came off as bridezilla-y with what I said. This has all been our daughter's choices and in the words of my daughter, she wants to "look like a beautiful princess since I found a prince." They each picked out their own dresses and all with zero input from me. I remember I was a junior bridesmaid for my sister's wedding when I was about 13 and just thought it was the coolest thing ever to get my hair done, wear makeup and a really nice dress. While she didn't hire a vendor for it, a family friend was a retired cosmetologist and knew exactly how to do everything. I'm not a big hair and makeup person myself and I have no close friends or family who are to assist, which is why I hired the vendor.

Back to the gifts on a normal basis, I thank them frequently for their friendship and have given them expensive gifts (close to $1k a piece) in the past for being there and helping me through a very serious mental health related situation. I don't want to overdo the gift giving with them either.

View Quoted Comment Isn't their someone in your family or friend groom, rather than pro make up and hair, at 10 and 16? Yes, they may think a pro is great, and they undoubtedly would have a glass panelled coach with pairs of gorgeous horses, if they were on offer. But teen girls may be better getting a message less of being pampered princesses, and more that with their fresh, young, healthy skin and hair, and a practice session, they do not have any need for professional services. It is only recently that brides started commonly getting pro make-up, unless they are rich or celebrities. And I game my family members generous gifts at the winter holidays, but would not skip a birthday, or individual small thank you gift, in spring or summer, because of earlier generous gifts.

A gift is not required. But at bare minimum you should give them a very heartfelt thank you. They are spending lots of their money on attire they will likely never wear again and travel expenses which are not cheap. The least you can do is cut unnecessary expenses such as favors/signs/welcome bags, etc to afford a thank you gift..

View Quoted Comment I don't think you came off as Bridezilla-y at all! I also think it's totally fine to have the 10-year-old and the 16-year-old each get professional hair and makeup done. I was a junior bridesmaid once when I was younger, and absolutely loved getting my hair professionally done for it.


I agree with the previous comments - a written thank you note would be a good idea! You could also give them each a small, inexpensive gift to accompany the note, but if not, I think the note by itself would be sufficient. I love the idea that Anais suggested: to include a framed picture of you and the person!

At minimum you should handwrite a heartfelt thank you card. The gift can be a trinket, like a necklace, tie pin, or something small.


Your bridal party is spending a lot of time on you. The makeup and accessories you're providing is more for the benefit of your photos than for them. I think it's bad taste to not give anything at all.

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Sorry I'm not trying to argue at all, and will probably end up giving them gifts. I think I'm just trying to understand where people are coming from and maybe it will help with choosing a gift. Our wedding party is not purchasing any clothing for this event, as we are providing the detail stuff. The one guy who is buying a suit was planning on getting one anyway before we even got engaged. They are not assisting with planning, they are not coming to or throwing bachelor or bachelorette parties or bridal showers or anything. We are not doing a rehearsal dinner, they are showing up ready to go 45 minutes prior to the walk down the aisle. Whether they were in the wedding party or not, all of these people would have attended and spent the money for flights anyway. What exactly am I thanking them for?

View Quoted Comment You’re thanking them for their support, their time during your wedding, standing up next to you to celebrate your marriage. These are the people closest to you and you’re thanking them for all that.
Again, a nice letter is great for this type of thing.