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Dedicated June 2021

Wedding Party drama? anyone else?

Amanda, on June 16, 2020 at 1:21 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

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Hello everyone,

Now i know everyone will have their own opinions and thoughts on this so please do share! A little backstory is my matron of honor (my cousin) was married 5 years ago and now has a child, the flower girl in my wedding. I did everything for her wedding day, from dresses to hair, makeup, shower etc. However she always revolves EVERYTHING back to her and her child. Saying things such as "her hair is so long cant wait to see what it looks like on the wedding day" or "i cant wait to watch her walk down the aisle in her dress". YES i get it shes her child, but WHAT ABOUT ME?! its my day and i feel like she completely puts every convo back to herself. It is even at the point she doesn't remember basic things about the wedding such as when the bachelorette party is that she is coming too. I have also postponed my wedding from June to August and she started saying covid is returning in August.. why would you even say that to someone you know is already stressed?! The topper on the cake was this week she and her daughter planned on wearing matching white dresses to my bridal shower, and when I expressed I didn't really want them to wear white she was mad at me. How do you all feel about this? I just assumed you wouldn't wear white to someone else's bridal shower? Thoughts? Also has anyone had a matron of honor revolve everything around them?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Leslie, on June 17, 2020 at 12:14 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 16, 2020 at 1:24 PM
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Yeah it does sound like perhaps she's using this as more of a good opportunity for her and her child to bond over.
i'm sure maybe she doesn't mean to not focus her attention on you though but that maybe to her she's just more focused on it being something for her and her child - which isn't great of her to do, either.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on June 16, 2020 at 1:27 PM
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There are some people that are just very needy and require attention. It sucks for you, but some people are just that way. My FSIL is already boasting about my wedding day and what all she has planned and how she my FH's brother and her (grown, out of the house children 21/24 yo will be at our wedding - we didn't invite - only his siblings and spouses). Just brush it off and remember it's your day, if you let it affect you, you will only hurt yourself and not her because she probably has no clue she's doing it anyway.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on June 16, 2020 at 1:49 PM
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I tend to agree she probably doesn't realize that she's coming off insensitively. I can see that as a mom, she's excited for her daughter to get all dressed up and have her little moment. Don't let it get to you. Personally, I wouldn't care who wore what to a shower. If she shows up in white, it's only her who will look foolish, but I wouldn't make an issue out of it - at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter, and no one will be confused about who the bride is. It definitely doesn't sound like you can rely on her for emotional support right now (and maybe that is just beyond her capability), so lean on other friends and family instead.
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Dedicated June 2021
Amanda · on June 16, 2020 at 2:27 PM
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Yes I definitely agree with you! That’s my
Problem I let it bother me when I shouldn’t lol
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Dedicated June 2021
Amanda · on June 16, 2020 at 2:30 PM
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Yes your totally right! I think I’m just starting to go a little crazy over the small things now, but at the same time I think I just wish she was there for me like I was for her. But I have other family like you said. Thanks!!
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on June 16, 2020 at 2:34 PM
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Letting it bother you only hurts you. It's hard for us, but remember everyone else will remember it's all about you
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 17, 2020 at 12:08 AM
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If a close friend, I’d probably have a heart-to-heart/come-to-Jesus talk with her. Remind her of the things you did for her. Then tell her how you’d really like her support.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on June 17, 2020 at 12:14 AM
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I honestly didn’t know it was a faux pas to where white to a shower. Wedding yes but shower? I guess I’m naive.
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