My fiance and I have been able to compromise really well on everything about our wedding except the wedding party.
He has a few guy friends and family who all live in town here with us that he wants to have as groomsmen. My lady relatives all live really far away, and they are all still in college so they are strapped for cash.
I already asked a close friend in town to be my MOH, because she lives nearby, so it won't be an imposition on her. I was then going to have some of my closer female relatives either join us for brunch the day after the wedding, or come to the rehearsal dinner the night before if they are already in town, or both.
While I am just as close to some of my female relatives as to my in-town friend, I don't want to stress them out by asking them to make it into town for a rehearsal, show up early the day of the wedding, wear special dresses, stand during the ceremony, sit apart from their significant others during the reception, etc. And I definitely am NOT making my bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, no matter how many I end up having, even though my fiance wants me to make them pay for their gowns so I can have more bridesmaids. My philosophy has been that I want to host a party for my friends and family, not have a day that's "all about me." If I want a day that's all about me, I'll go for a spa pampering, and not involve a bunch of other people. To that end, I would like being in my bridal party to not be a hassle.
My fiance insists the sides MUST be even, and is nagging me to get two of my far away, college-age relatives to be bridesmaids so he can have 3 groomsmen. I feel it will only inflate costs and hurt the feelings of other far-flung relatives who I do not ask to be in the bridal party. I would rather be able to say I am not asking anyone from out of town, for the reasons stated above, and let everyone relax and enjoy themselves.
Am I totally in the wrong? Or is there some better way to convince him than the explanation above, which I have already tried?
