Wedding parties

Would you allow them to bring a family member to help them with taking care of their daughter? At our wedding my brother-in-law's four children were a part of the ceremony but during the reception their nanny took them back to their hotel room to give my brother-in-law and his wife an evening to themselves. They had asked us in advance if she could attend which was fine by us. We wanted my brother-in-law and his wife to enjoy their evening.

A year and a half old is really very young to be a flower girl, especially if the parents are both in the ceremony.


TBH I would think the bigger issue would be then, during the ceremony, unless you are determined to seat them separately from their child at the reception. That won’t work unless you agree to sit with them and the baby, seat them separately, hire a nanny or sitter to watch her in a nearby space, have a trusted family member or sitter of theirs take her home after the ceremony if local, or invite a family member or sitter of theirs as a guest or guests.
That’s also what I’d do for getting ready, ceremony and photos unless there’s someone else close to her on the guest list willing to watch her. Or set it all up so the parents can alternate. They can also get ready at home, hotel, or wherever, as long as they are there for photos.
If none of this is feasible, or you’re not willing to be flexible, I think they will just have to reevaluate the idea of bringing her to the wedding or of both of them attending.

View Quoted Comment Hi! Thank you so much for your input! I appreciate it so much! I am willing to offer for the her mom to come and be a guest so she can watch the baby, I just don’t know if she’d like that. Because I think her plan is her and her husband would just watch her until her mom comes and pick up the kiddo a little bit after the reception starts. I don’t know that this will work because as bridal parties, they will have to take photos, stand by us at the ceremony and will be at the head table, I’m not sure that having the baby at the head table will work because what if the baby gets cranky during the toasts and stuff and they have to be watching her during the program. That just seems like a lot to me. And I don’t know how to address this because I know she is too, really particular with who watches her baby so I know it would have to be someone she knows or trust or her family member.

I would just ask her what she thinks would work best and come up with a plan from there.

Tag team it and figure it out together! One of my bridesmaids had a 5 month old at our wedding and she and her husband were in our respective parties. Her mother in law and father in law ended up coming to our destination wedding for their own vacation and then took the baby during the ceremony and beginning of the reception. (her mother was mother of the groom so hubby and I didn't want her on kid duty all night). Workout out great and everyone was comfortable!

View Quoted Comment Hi thank you so much! I offered to invite her mom to be guest so that she can watch the baby during the ceremony after she walks the aisle and the beginning of the reception before she takes her home. But I don’t think her mom would be comfortable attending due to reasons so we are left with no one watching the kid but them. And I don’t know how that would work. 😬

View Quoted Comment That’s what we came up with. I’m just a worrier that I would make her feel some type of way. I just don’t want us to be having to take care of the kid when she gets tired or unhappy. Kids tend to have moments like that. Also, even if they bot will be the one to handle it, I also don’t want to be missing them on anything because they have to care for her. I honestly don’t know what else to do. I offered to invite her mom as a guest so she can watch her but I don’t think her mom would be comfortable due to some reasons.

Is this their wedding or your wedding? The whole family is in it. I would reconsider a toddler as flower person as that age has more needs that you can plan. Also, you don't want to be resentful or anxious over a 1 year old if she happens to not feel safe or comfortable in a room of strangers.

View Quoted Comment It’s my wedding. That’s what I’m thinking, I don’t want us to be focused on trying to take care of the baby if she gets upset, even if our friends who are in the wedding are the parents, but if they have to care for her then what do we do during the time of the wedding events? Like, I don’t wanna miss them for anything because they had to take care of the baby.

I wouldn’t have the baby be in the wedding. She is way too young for the role, and the logistics with the parents are just too complicated. It would be much easier for the parents to leave the child at home with a family member for the evening.

Just ask mom what she thinks is best.
Go with that.