Wedding or travel

I hated every second of wedding planning, and there was a point where we looked at our finances to see if we could just elope. It was too late at that point as we had already paid for half the wedding and would not get that money back. On the day of (an hour or so before the ceremony) we both looked at each other and said at the same time "I am so glad we did not elope." It was so nice to have our friends and family there supporting us and surrounding us with love.

We also had a smaller event (75 guests), so I think that was helpful. Also, the choices are not big, expensive wedding or eloping, just the two of you. If we had eloped, it would have been more of a small wedding than a true elopement because we would have invited our immediate families (11 people), and we would not have had a celebration of marriage at home after. I also think it's not your boss's business to tell you weddings aren't worth it for the couple. Maybe that was just his experience. It certainly wasn't mine. Our wedding was for us. Our families and friends would have been fine with it if we had eloped.

So far we are looking at a wedding around 75 people too. And my boss is is more like a friend to me. I mean i still have almost 11 months before the date we planned to have our wedding but, am so unsure of what I want. And my fiance just says he is happy with whatever I want.

We're not doing one or the other. We also feel really blessed to have family supporting us financially, so only half the wedding is coming out of pocket. If this hadn't been the case, our wedding size and budget would be cut in half. That's not because we can't afford more, but because the rest of this year's savings is going towards our honeymoon and other trips. You don't have to throw a 30k wedding, but neither do you have to forego one altogether. Travel and wedding are not mutually exclusive.

I do not think any money we spent on the wedding was a waste. We also did not have much planning stress, and fully enjoyed the day of. It was an absolutely perfect day.

I agree with @rica. We had one wedding, but we have years in which we can continue to travel.

If you keep the guest list small, it will cut down on drama if that's a worry, and will keep costs down.

Thanks ladies. I had no one to ask this question everyone else around me was just saying w.e. you want. And I wanted to hear a real backing for both.

Lol sorry. It just comes as a habit.

We are doing an all out once in a lifetime honeymoon in Asia. If family hadn't been helping with wedding financially, we would have done a smaller, more modest wedding, probably 30 people since they are helping we are doing more like 80 people. But the we are probably spending just as much on the wedding as the honeymoon, from what we are contributing. I don't think I could give up the wedding all together, but travel was important too.

Also, for everyone who says you have forever to travel, we are slightly older than the typical couple getting married, so if we want kids in a few years we don't have that much more time to travel before that happens and it makes it more difficult.

I got much more money from presents then what I spend on the wedding. We take it to travel soon. If I had to decide I would travel.

Well... Do you want a wedding? Lol. That's the question you have to answer first!

Yes I do. I mean I'm a hopeless romantic. I grew up reading every single Nicholas Sparks book out there. But I also want to travel too.

I had very little stress from planning the wedding, you just need to have clear expectations ahead of time. Ex. I knew H would be almost not involved at all, and that I don't care about most stuff, so I'll prioritize the things I do care about and not worry about the rest. I actually had a lot of fun with it and I think I would love being an event planner.

That said, we hosted about 175 people for about 17k by getting married in my hometown (small town middle of nowhere, super low COLA), having a buffet, and generally keeping things simple. Our honeymoon will probably run 4-5k (we leave Monday, so tbd on food/drink/misc costs). You can travel and have a wedding, just determine your priorities and be ruthlessly cheap about stuff that doesn't matter to you and doesn't impact guest experience. (Ex. We had no programs, no menus, no signs, small wedding party of just MOH and Best Man, ice cream cake and cheesecake which we love instead of expensive "real" cake that we don't like, etc etc).

Don't bank on profiting from the wedding like @jj, OP. That is very unusual.

Honestly, DH & I both wish we had eloped. Why not travel AND get married? I don't know why your boss felt it was their place to say something but, it's ultimately up to you & your SO.

Second @fallinthegarden

Weddings are not about making a profit and it's not guaranteed that you get gifts.

@mrswrs we are going to Tokyo and Hakone (near Mt. Fuji) in Japan and Koh Samui (an island) and Chaing Mai in Thailand! So excited!

Thanks, mrswrs. Our friends think we are a little nutty, but we love traveling!

I agree with @rica. You can travel at any time but this is your chance for a wedding. My FH and I love to travel as well but this for me is a celebration with my family and I wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Sorry, I did not mean to give false hope. You can not count on making money with your wedding and it also of course should not be the goal. It is only in my culture that we always make money from weddings, that I forgot that it is not the norm.

Travel for sure. That's why we're eloping on a beach with very few guests. Neither of us wanted a wedding and think it's a waste of money.

If it wasn't for me really wanting friends n family there...FH n I would have had a courthouse wedding with a photographer n a handful of guests. Then we would have spent more on our rings n honeymoon.