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Chantell
Just Said Yes August 2020

Wedding or Downpayment?

Chantell, on July 28, 2019 at 8:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
A few close family members suggested using our wedding money for a downpayment for a new home instead. It’s a very smart and practical decision considering we want to start trying to have kids after we tie the knot... but I’d be sacrificing some of my wedding dreams.

Just wondering what you would choose?

21 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on July 29, 2019 at 4:41 PM
  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    I would personally go with the house. The ultimate decision is yours. Whichever you choose there's no REAL wrong answer. I guess it would also depend on your timeline in when you want to get a house and what kind of house you're looking for. That's not exactly inexpensive either but I do agree that it would be a smart move and in no way am I degrading the choice to keep your wedding dreams.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If you want a wedding, I don’t think it’s something that you should sacrifice. I think it’s important to
    budget properly and be realistic about what you want in a wedding and the timeline in which you’d like to buy a home. If buying a home ASAP is important to you, budget to where not every penny of your savings is going to your wedding. If possible, I would find a way to have both.
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    That's tricky because it's such a personal decision. In my case, I will not buy a home in IL. The taxes are ridiculous. H and I want to move south and buy a house there but that isn't in the cards for a few years yet. So the wedding was an obvious choice for us!
    So like I said, it entirely depends on what you see in your future. If you think sacrificing your wedding dreams will become a regret at some point, then have the wedding.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    If I was young and it was between a house or wedding I would definitely go with house. It’s so hard now to save enough money for a down payment so that’s a great help, however, don’t give up your dream of a wedding. Maybe do something super small and inexpensive and put the rest on a house.
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  • Sara
    Expert October 2020
    Sara ·
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    We bought a house before we even got engaged. I had said all along house before wedding, but I will be 34 this year and FH will be 35 and I want children. It was important to us to have a house before children. We also lived in a tiny apartment that FH hated and had been living alone in for like 8 years before I moved in. It made absolutely no sense for us to get a bigger apartment and end up paying the same amount in rent then a mortgage. I saved and set things up to afford a down payment. I'm pretty confident I will be able to save the same for our wedding.

    I will say newly owning a house (Sept will be 1 year in house) and planning for a wedding is a little stressful. We are still getting used to house bills and there is so much that could go wrong and needs updating. It definitely adds another layer of stress.
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  • Chantell
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Chantell ·
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    Right! Timing is everything. We’re kind of sick of our apartment and we’re ready to move but we were willing to stay here a extra year to have a wedding.
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    I think it depends. Do YOU want a house? Does your FH? If not, don’t do it yet.
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  • Chantell
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Chantell ·
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    I think we would find a way to do both. We would end up cutting our guest list almost in half and doing a much more intimate dinner reception and family only ceremony.
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  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    Tbh the style wedding i want i would do the dp and make sure its a home withe a big enough yard to have a wedding in the later pool and swing set
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  • Sara
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    We would chose the house. Even if we didn’t know where we want to live. We would put it in savings until we know where we want to settle down. I really don’t care about a small or big wedding. I kept telling everyone that we were going to eloped but my mother in law wouldn’t allow it. Now we realized how expensive everything is. She is on board with a very small wedding in our town and she would give us a down payment for a house. But it’s too late now. We are 2 months away from our wedding.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would choose the downpayment for a house! A wedding is one day, but a house is more permanent

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  • October2019
    Dedicated October 2019
    October2019 ·
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    Not know the cost of your weddi g or your finances but know what it's like to want kids right off and wanting to buy a house I still say have a wedding. Even if it's a economical wedding. We are doing a wedding but well under $10k. We are also saving for a house and want to be able to get one before our year lease is up which starts August's 1. You can have both just not at the same time.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I would try to budget for both if possible. You don't have to go all out, but it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Also, your experience may differ, but we had incredibly generous wedding guests when it came to monetary wedding gifts (we did not have a wedding for gifts of course, nor did we have any sort of cash fund). We were able to pay off a car loan and add to our downpayment fund.
    • Reply
  • N
    Dedicated July 2019
    Natt ·
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    I think only you can make that choice my husband have been married for less than a month and we recently had the was it worth the money? And we came up with the conclusion that it was not worth the money we could of bought a new Tesla with that money or start looking into homes but we also think it was worth all the great memories and the experience we went through planning for everything and all the memories we had that day. It really brought us closer because we worked on it together and I loved every minute of it and we also learned so much about each there and how we handle things when they go wrong. You also learn who is really there for you in your family who supports you and who in your family just wants to be there. I honestly think a wedding is worth all the money we spent but I’m also not in your situation my husband and I are fine waiting a few years for a home and we plan to wait a few years before having kids.
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  • Amanda
    Master December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    We are doing wedding and trying to get a home too but wedding is priority. I think its a deeply personal decision. I HATE choosing a wedding but I know I'll regret if I don't have a good one
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  • Ashlee
    Dedicated November 2019
    Ashlee ·
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    My thoughts exactly, I decided wedding and could not be happier. A wedding is a once in a lifetime event. There will be lots of houses and places to move and live. I say have a fantastic wedding, and save to buy a house a little later on.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    House all the way!!! Then I would do a small fancy wedding (brunch or dinner) with about 20 friends & family on Fri or Sun to save a ton of money but still have a “Pinterest” look & experience (no DJ, dancing or photo booth just yummy food & wine).
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  • Wendy
    Dedicated April 2020
    Wendy ·
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    I would do wedding. Money always comes and goes throughout life, enjoy the moment!
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  • S
    Dedicated August 2019
    Susan ·
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    Sometimes renting can be a better financial decision. We used this calculator and it helped us decide to buy a house when we did. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/buy-rent-calculator.html


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  • K
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kellie ·
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    My fiancé and I have known each other since we were kids. I’m talking 15,16 years old. We always talked about when we got married. We’ve been planning our wedding for the past two years, and then we plan on buying a home. We are renting right now, but the location is perfect, we love the house & neighborhood and haven’t found anything right now nearly as awesome as where we are.
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