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Expert August 2019

Wedding nerves!

Aliciabilly2019, on August 4, 2019 at 7:54 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4
So its 25 days till I DO. My fiance has been having anxiety attacks and its making me think bc of the wedding. I am trying to be as understanding as i can bc i dont know what hes going through but theh just started up maybe month and half ago and seems like closer we get to the I DO day hes worse. Hes gone to the drs few times bc meds arent working etc only thing seems to calm him is beer. And i dont mind but its putting damper on other relationship things. I want him to be calm and relaxed to but beer everynight to me almost feels like an excuse. Not saying he doesnt have anxiety but how is it that the meds hes on isnt helping but beer is i dont get it. If thats the case why take the pills that are suppose to help. He finally talked to his dr last week told him there not helping and so yea more new meds and still drinking. I dont know what to do should we call off wedding i dont want him having a panic attack weve been together almost 7 years and his anxiety has never been this bad ever! I know its a big day but i feel luke maybe hes second guessing rhe marriage thing and doesn't want to tell me or something. So many thought in my mind about this but trying to be there for support for him through it and its hard when your not use to it . I ask him if he still wants to get married he says yes but hes so miserable and just moody lately it makes it hard to enjoy the days up till we hopefully say I DO . Maybe once its over hell calm down i hope so bc this is crazy. I love him for who he is and delt with alot through these 7 years bc i love him . Is anyone else having stress related problems or anxiety problems and maybe explain it to me better bc to me drinking everyday is a problem if hes this bad then why marry me if your that stressed from it . Just having second guesses i think bc of this whole thing. Anyone else having second guesses or relationship problems bc its getting closer to date ?

4 Comments

Latest activity by Aliciabilly2019, on August 7, 2019 at 9:55 AM
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I have anxiety and have been on medication for about a year. I'm really sorry FH's anxiety has been worse lately. It's such a dark slippery hole that's difficult to climb out of.

    I'd also be concerned about your FH's drinking. That's definitely not a healthy coping mechanism, just as you said! As for wondering if he's having second thoughts, it's possible. However, I think it's more his anxiety creating the problems, not you.

    I think postponing the wedding is a wise thing to do. Give FH time to heal and recover. Continue to support him with love and patience. I hope everything turns out okay! Sending you lots of hugs Smiley heart

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  • A
    Expert August 2019
    Aliciabilly2019 ·
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    Thank you cher i hope he gets better soon its just getting worse and we both dont know how to deal with it and his drs are not prescribing right meds so it sucks big time.
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    I'm so sorry AliciaBilly2019! This sounds really tough to deal with!

    Do you know if your fiancé mentioned the drinking to his doctor? And what kind of doctor did he meet with? I'd definitely make sure there's a talk therapy piece to handling this anxiety! A professional will also be more helpful at getting to the heart of the issue that's causing the anxiety.

    I know I'm not helpful at all when my husband gets general anxiety - I've never personally experienced it so I was always trying to offer practical stress solutions, which is definitely different! I'd try to brainstorm some healthy coping mechanisms together and make sure your fiancé's talking to someone!

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  • A
    Expert August 2019
    Aliciabilly2019 ·
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    Thank you lynnie...he goes to his regular dr but trying to get into a therapist to see what else could be going on. Just stressful he hasnt been like this in a long long time so its concerning...he says its not marrying me that is stressing him but the money part of it but everything is all paid for but my hair nails makeup and last dress take in so idk venue cake photographer etc there all paid for so i get stressed bc he is when i dont get whats going on and just wish i could help fix it but i know i cant other then keep reminding him stuffs paid for and well be ok .. but thank you for your support .. hes trying this new cbd oil its to lessen stress and pain and help you sleep etc not thc or anything in it just all natural stuff so well see if it helps any 🤞
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