Rebecca
Beginner February 2020

Wedding loan

Rebecca, on May 22, 2019 at 2:14 PM Posted in Planning 0 91
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Hey everyone! My name is Brooke and I'm getting married January 25 2020 to an amazing guy. His name is Adam and we started living together last year. At first he was in an apartment until he bought a house for us. He pays all the bills like mortgage, light, and water bill while I go to school. I have been paying everything for the wedding so far and it's going to be at least $10,000. My parents help out here and there but not much. So today I wanted to talk to him about possibly taking a loan out in my name and him helping me pay it back here and there. But he was upset and I guess expected me to pay it all back myself. After a while he said he would try to refinance the house but I still think I need to take out a loan but I'm also in school and taking out a lot of student loans. The loans really only pay for school and I also work to pay my car insurance, car payment, phone bill, food, etc. I'm really worried about taking out a personal loan but I really feel like its necessary. What are your thoughts?

91 Comments

  • Andie
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Andie ·
    • Flag
    You would be entering marriage with a mortgage, car loan, student loans and now a loan for (essentially) a one day event. Instead of taking out more money, I would suggest putting away the money you would (monthly) be paying for that loan and save it for the wedding instead... It also sounds like Adam is already paying most of the bills so he might be assuming this loan would fall on him too, which would be a reason for being upset about the wedding loan...
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Rockstar May 2020
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    This is just my opinion, of course, and it's what you asked for. I would never take out a loan to pay for my wedding. In fact, when FH and I first started planning, we figured out what we wanted/what was most important, then the cost of that, then figured how much time it would take to save that amount. We ended up moving our original wedding date out, because we weren't going to be able to save enough money in the amount of time we allotted. Yes, it meant not getting married as soon as we wanted, but it came down to priorities. If we wanted the things we thought were important for our wedding, we had to save a certain amount. But we still have a mortgage, utilities, food, and other bills (student loans, car payments, insurance, etc.) to pay for, so we really had to balance it out. By pushing the wedding date out several months, we are now on track to save the necessary amount, and get everything we want for our wedding.

    Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get what you want. I don't think taking out a loan is the answer--at least it wasn't for us. You and FH will have to make that decision for yourselves. But I wanted everything paid for by the time we got married. I didn't want to have to be paying for the wedding months or even years after it took place. Have the wedding you can afford, either by moving your date out to give you more time, or by cutting costs somehow.

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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t take out a loan for an optional party. It’s fine to have a small wedding now and a vow renewal when you can afford it.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We personally didn't want to go into debt for our wedding, but we had a lot of help from my parents. Everyone makes their own financial decisions so if you guys think a loan is an option, then you should. If it were me, I'd just lower the cost of the wedding.

    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted June 2019
    C R ·
    • Flag
    Are you proposing to take out a loan just to pay for the wedding. Please don't. Please. Either have a wedding you can afford, or wait and save until you can. Debt is not your friend.
    • Reply
  • Soon2Bmrsp
    VIP May 2019
    Soon2Bmrsp ·
    • Flag
    I would not take out a loan-have the wedding that you can afford now,you won't regret it
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I think this is both a small and a big issue. First, I agree with all of the PP who said do not take out a loan for a wedding. There is no rational justification for that. Second, the far bigger issue is that it doesn't sound like you and your FS are on the same page financially. I would make sure you have having the right conversations about money and joint finances and responsibilities now, BEFORE you get married.

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  • Chelsea W.
    Dedicated October 2020
    Chelsea W. ·
    • Flag
    Personally, I wouldn’t take out a loan. Make a budget as to how much you and your fiancé can save per month for the wedding and put that money into a separate checking account. That then becomes your wedding fund and you can write checks as needed for your vendors.
    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
    • Flag
    I agree with pp. Please Do NOT go in debt for you wedding. It’s just an optional party at the end of the day! It’s a really bad financial decision, especially taking into account that you guys have mortgage & continuous student loans already. You’re starting your marriage with a lot of debt that will take a long time to pay off. What if something bad happens & your FH can’t work for months, for example? Finances are no. 1 reason couples fight over & relationships suffer & end. Honestly, if I was your FH I would be upset about this idea too lol.

    You can have a beautiful wedding on any budget. Cut down your guest list & anything else you need to. There are many brides on here that are having their weddings on few thousand dollar budgets. It can be done. And if a fancy wedding is very important to you, there is always the option to wait until you can save enough to afford it. I obviously don’t know your age & your life plans, but since you’re still in school, it doesn’t sound unreasonable to me to wait until you graduate & start a well paying job/career.
    • Reply
  • C
    Expert November 2020
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    Absolutely do not do this. I imagine everyone will tell you what a bad idea it is- going into debt over a 1 day optional party is a very bad idea, finances are the biggest strain on any relationship and you'll be adding to debt you already have from school. It's not worth it, save up, push the date, cut costs, but don't go into debt for your wedding!!
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    I agree with everyone else, I personally would not take out a loan for a wedding. I was lucky enough to have my mom pay for mine, but if she didn’t we would be putting it off or going to the courthouse.
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Devoted November 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    The last thing you want to do is start your marriage in that much debt. I recommend putting money away or push your wedding date until y’all can afford a wedding y’all want to have
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag

    I would never ever take out a loan for an optional party. I'd 100% get married at the courthouse and have a vow renewal in the future. I can't believe your FH said he would think about refinancing! Insane.

    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Devoted May 2017
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag

    We essentially took our a loan to pay for our wedding. We were both in grad school at the time, working part-time and taking out student loans to cover living expenses and school. I live in an extremely high COLA area (Washington DC), so part-time work doesn't cover all expenses plus rent. Since I was already taking out grad-plus student loans (but not the maximum amount allowed by my school), I took out an additional $5K and used it cover wedding expenses. So we "went into debt" to pay for our wedding, but we already had a hundred thousand plus dollars of student loan debt. I've never regretted taking out the extra money, and because of where we both were in schooling, we would have had to wait until late this year or next to be able to "afford" a wedding. (Even a ceremony with a cake and punch reception in DC would have cost more than we had at the time). We had a beautiful and fun wedding. I don't know that I would have taken out a personal loan with a 10% plus interest rate, but see if you can take out additional student loans. If you use them to pay living expenses (as I was already doing) in addition to tuition, etc. then the government doesn't track what you actually spend the money on.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Beginner February 2020
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    That's a good idea! Thank you!
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Rockstar March 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Oh no. Don't do it. Absolutely don't do it. A party is not worth it. You'll be paying one day off for years.
    • Reply
  • Madison
    Devoted April 2020
    Madison ·
    • Flag
    Do not take out a loan to pay for a wedding. It’s one thing to not be able to afford one at all but you can definitely do a lot with that you said you already have.
    • Reply
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride Online ·
    • Flag

    Even adding it to your student loan is a very bad idea. Have you read the news stories about how people are still paying off their student loans when they start receiving Social Security? And even if they go bankrupt, they can't escape those loans?

    You can typically get married for under $100 at the courthouse. If you're already dealing with a bunch of other debt, that's your best bet.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    So 99.9% of responders tell you not to do it and you listen to the advice of the person telling you to defraud the federal government.


    Goodness.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Beginner February 2020
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    I'm listening to everyone
    • Reply

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