Wedding Invites

Is there a reason for the cutoff? Safety issues at the venue? It does come across as playing favorites when you randomly have an age cutoff. If you didn’t invite anyone under 18 for example that would make more sense to most people than a random “no one under 7”. Some youngsters are better behaved than their much older teen peers/siblings. It makes arrangements for childcare difficult.


It’s much more common and polite to simply address the invitation to specific names only on envelopes and do the same on rsvp cards. If someone writes in that extra people are coming, you get on the phone immediately and say “we are unable to accommodate extra people whose names are not on the invitation.” At that point they can decide to attend or decline.

I don’t think so! It’s your day and if you don’t want young kids running around and making a mess that’s okay! If guests get offended because of that then they don’t need to come anyway!

We are doing no kids under 12, but rather than saying that, we are being sure to list each invited person on the invite/RSVP. People will not be able to RSVP for someone not listed, so it wil be clear the children are not invited. On the website we have an FAQ page with the question "Are children invited?" and a reply along the lines of "While we love all the children in our lives, we are unable to accomodate them at this event. Please refer to your Invitation and the RSVP page for the names of those invited. Please reach out with any concerns!"

I think putting the age limit on the invite can read as rude/unnecessary. I would address things to "Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX" for a couple with kids that aren't invited.

It is also considered rude to invite one child, but not their sibling, so make sure you aren't inviting an older sibling but not a younger one

I would normally say Yes, it is rude to put an age limit. However, this one might be tricky. If you are inviting families with children spanning that age range, they might not understand why Kid 1, age 10 and Kid 2, age 7 are listed, but Kid 3, age 4 is not.

It might not be a bad idea to it somewhere. Maybe on your website, if you have one? Or on the RSVP. In any case, keep an eye out for parents trying to include their little ones anyway, and contact them right away to let them know the age limit.

I wouldn't list it on the invitation. Instead, I would add a note on your wedding website along the lines of, "While we adore everyone's children, we are unfortunately unable to accommodate children under the age of 5. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for understanding." When sending out invites, only address it to those who you are inviting, and put your website on your invitation.


One thing to consider is if any of your guests have multiple children, where some are younger than 5 and others are older than 5. It might be confusing to them as to why only some of their kids are invited. In those cases, I would consider either inviting all the children in that family, or none of the children in that family.

Agree with those who've pointed out that the arbitrary age cutoff probably won't go over well with most guests - if there isn't a reason why it has to be age 5 specifically, I would just not invite any children and not state it on an invite or wedding website at all. Just address invitations to the parents and not the children (that's what we ended up doing).

If the age cutoff is something your venue requires, that's a little different IMO and I think you could state that on your wedding website, e.g. "due to venue restrictions we are unable to accommodate children under the age of 5." But it would probably still go over better with most guests if you just didn't invite kids at all and said "due to venue restrictions we are unable to accommodate children" so you don't have someone complaining that their well-behaved 4 year old wasn't allowed to attend while somebody else's little 5-year old terror was. :-)

I dont Think so. But some people still take their kids everywhere, so they may be offended. But again it’s your day.

Nope, it’s your wedding and your rules! You don’t like then that’s on them! It’s your day girl!

I’ve been thinking of maybe doing the same thing myself

We originally were going to allow children of our guests, since our children will be in the wedding….but it’s to darn expensive and even our children are leaving at a certain time so we can just enjoy music, people and drinks. I don’t think it’s rude at all.

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I'm having a similar issue. We have five children between the two of us but I could cut my catering bill by over 35% if I told everyone outside the bridal party no kids. I don't know how to address this. There are so many kids in my family so my guest list is almost half children. And I'm afraid that by saying no kids, I'll have a lot of hurt family members.

View Quoted Comment I totally get it!!! Catering gets totally out of budget and even at a 40% discount or fixed rate per child, there’s age restrictions. Anyone over 14 is an adult seat. We’ve told our families, the invite is for you and you only, no plus ones and unfortunately, no kids. We simply cannot afford it. If they can’t understand, then it’s unfortunate.

Some people will say it's rude, but I say it's your day and you can decide what you want. Just be prepared that the people with kids under 5 won't come and be okay with that.

It’s not rude to have age restrictions around your wedding. It is rude to put on the invitation who isn’t invited though.


You could provide the information on your wed site. Also address the invitations only to specific people and put # of seats saved for them. If they try to add kids in, then call and apologize for the “misunderstanding” and that you can’t accommodate kids.