Wedding Guests

I don’t think it’s rude. If you’re not close with someone then you’re just not close. FH and I absolutely refuse to invite any “just because” guests.

I don’t think it’s rude. I also think your life will be much less complicated if you invite them. It’s going to get out that every one but them was invited. It depends on your budget, venue, etc but unless it will cause a real problem I would definitely invite them.

I think it is 100% rude. I'm not saying invite them if you don't want to but it is rude not to. The overwhelming majority is welcomed leaving 2 people singled out. Whether any of the other 11 would ever tell you to your face, some would be saying or thinking the same thing.

I agree with Leigh. Its isnt technically rude. But it's a little awkward. I'd probably just invite them to avoid the awkwardness.

I’d invite them... it’s 2 people. It’s typically recommended to invite in circles, so all coworkers or none. They’ll likely decline anyway.

View Quoted Comment I agree. To just leave 2/11 guests out is terribly awkward.

Flip it for a second. If you were in their position and found out everyone got invited except you, how would you feel?

I'm with Hannah, would it be uncomfortable if they didn't invite you to something? If not, because you know you aren't close and don't hang out outside of work, then no worries! If it might be weird though because everyone else is included, and you can fit them, and it would allow you to talk more about the wedding at work, then personally I'd include them. But there's no etiquette rule that says you should invite them, the guest list is 100% your choice, so choose whatever will make you happiest!

For just a minor party, chips and wine and beer, I would say never leave out just 1-3 people. But a wedding is more personal, it involves any friends asked with your family. The usual test for co-workers, or members of a special group ( choir, garden club, etc.) recommended in etiquette books for weddings, has always made sense to me : You invite in circles according to the closeness of your relationship, not just membership in a certain group. So invite those with whom you have warm feelings, and feel some connection to, or share social activities with, outside of work or the special activity. And do not invite the next circle out, people you would never invite to your home, buy a gift for from you personally ( not the group) and other signs of a real social connection. . . Inviting these 2 likely means also their significant others, 4people. To spend $350-$500 or more so 2 people you don't particularly like, who don't much like you, won't feel left out? Not necessary. They can see as well as you do that it would be a "poor you" invite, which is insuting. And what about the 4 friends who were told no plus one, or the two couples you really spend a lot of time with, left off the list ( and feeling unhappy about it). So 2 people you don't like, and SO, can come? Why make true friends or family you want there feel left out, in order to spare the feelings of people you do not like? It does not make sense. Invite everyone, for cookouts, for bridge or a holiday open house. But weddings are limited attendance, and expensive, and much more personal.

A Miss Manners etiquette column: Gainesville, Va.: Good morning. I am getting married in June and expect about 100 guests of mostly family and close friends. I would also like for a few people from my office to attend, but because I work with a small group of people (six to be exact), I wonder: Is it OK to invite some but not all?

Miss Manners: Invite those with whom you socialize away from the office (workaday lunches and business events disguised as parties do not count): Those are your friends.